Late Bloomer

This is great. Really great.

- Yeah, Mm-hm. - Yeah.

And we've got a Black person here.

Mm-hm, and a BIPOC one.

Which kind?

Which kind of what?

Forgive me. Sorry. I didn't mean to suggest--

Oh, no, no, no. No worries. I mean, which kind of BIPOC?

'Cause I'm pretty sure the letters mean

- different things. - Ah, yes.

It is a bisexual person of colour. So, "bi-POC".

Glad we cleared that up.

So, we have some ethnicness here,

and some wheelchair action here.

Oh, you know what?

I have a cousin who's in a wheelchair actually.

So brave.

- Mm. - So brave.

Yeah.

But I think we need something else for this rebrand.

Something that just screams, "Yes, we are definitely not

an all white, cis college anymore."

- Yes, thank you. - Mm-hm.

White cis. That means anti-Semitism?

- You don't know what that is? - Oh, going to jump in here.

No, it's white, cis. Like cisgendered.

Oh, okay. Oh, my gosh. Forgive me. I'm sorry.

I really hope I was not mansplaining to you.

No, you have to get the explanation right

to call it mansplaining.

Yeah, well, disagree.

Hey, guys.

What about him?

- Oh, yeah. - I love this.

- That's cool. - That is a cool hat.

Uh, although, don't we already have another--

No, no. It's different, I think.

Mm, let's just not get them in the same shots, huh?

We don't want to send the wrong message.

- Well, that is not okay. - Yeah, I was just laughing

- 'cause you're laugh is-- - Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

Making me laugh.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to go to HR and talk about that.

Probably shouldn't have said that.

I have a great track record of being a good guy.

- Yeah, yeah. - Well, guys,

- I love it. - Great.

I think we've got our gang for our shoot.

- Amazing! - Super.

- Yeah. - Okay, so what are we

thinking with the parents?

So what do you guys think?

Pretty cool, right?

Why are your teeth so white?

Jasmeet: Teeth are supposed to be white.

Neal: Yeah, but these are, like, white.

Not as white as their students.

You know Churchill's been on some elitist

whites-only bullshit, right?

Neal: Dude, it looks like your mouth was gentrified.

Like your real teeth are in a worse mouth now.

Did you guys not see the slogan?

It's not, "It's less colourful every day."

It's more. I'm the colour. I'm the change.

Yeah, because they got called out on their racist-ass bullshit

and they don't want to lose more money.

Yo, they're using you.

Whatever, I'll just use them right back.

Like, it's reverse exploitation.

Your mouth looks like a lineup of every US president

'til Obama.

Dude, look, they're not that white

and you keep calling me a sellout,

but I go out and get a whole citywide campaign on my own

without an agent.

No, you're right.

Look, that's awesome. Let's celebrate.

I don't know, I feel like I need to book more gigs

before I celebrate.

Bro, what? You need to celebrate every win

to get as much attention as possible.

Have you seen Mukbang Mikhail's stories?

Mukbang McWhat?

Mukbang Mikhail.

- Mukbang McCool? - Mike Hill McBang?

- You guys are way off. - What are you saying?

- I don't even-- - Mukbang Mikhail.

What is it? What is a mukbang macaque?

It's a-- What? Do you guys know anything about influencers?

- Michael. - Dude, he's always, like,

popping bottles and then he gets reposted by big pages,

then he reposts the repost. Dude, it's like this huge

repost orgy and everyone's getting laid.

You know, I'm actually with Neal on this.

Look, this is how you capitalize on them capitalizing on you.

We hit the club, we use your exploitation clout

to get more clout to get more followers,

Okay, I don't hate anything you guys are saying right now,

but where would we even go?

Someplace bougie with, like,

bathroom doors that actually lock.

Okay.

I think I know who can hook it up.

Yo, my guy. Just talking about you.

Dude, is that my mom?

Are you at my house?

Yeah, bro. Saw your ad on a bus stop.

So, I jumped it to show your parents.

- How do you even know them? - Me and your dad go way back.

He gets his tires changed at my truck yard.

Jasmeet, are you back in school?

No, it's an ad campaign.

I got an honorarium.

He's on honour roll?

No. What? You know what? Yeah, I got paid.

Sunny, can you just reach out here real quick?

Say less, we need to go to Plush.

Ew. The place is disgusting.

You're chopped. Plush is fucking lit.

You know how many connects I got bouncing there?

Okay. I mean, like, you think you can get us in?

Guest list maybe?

Yeah. Basically, 100%.

Okay, so we're good?

You know who I am. It's done.

Like, I got to make a phone call, 100%.

Okay? So is it 100% or do you got to make a call?

No, don't worry about that. Like, I don't want to show up

and it's like we're not even--

I'll confirm with you tonight. It's done.

I feel so weird in these clothes.

Yeah, 'cause you don't look like

a washed-up child actor for once.

Look how long this line is.

We're never going to get in at this point.

Can't we just cut?

I don't know, man. Sunny still hasn't hit me up

about the guests list here.

Ooh, let's play a game.

Would you rather wait in this line

or have all your exes in the room

to watch your adult circumcision?

Ooh. That's a tough one because you know how I feel

about circumcision.

- Yeah, you don't like it. - No, it's mutilation.

Yeah. I was mutilated.

Yeah, and I feel bad for you.

I do too, but it looks so good.

- Oh, my God, shut up. - Like a soldier.

Look who just DM'd me.

Raysha? Who's Raysha?

This corny Uncle Tom designer who washes down

South Asian looks for the masses.

She wants to collab.

She's got a lot of followers.

You should do something with her.

I'd rather rim myself then sell my soul to someone this basic.

That actually doesn't sound that bad.

Ooh, I wish I could rim myself.

That does.

I'm not stooping to lower level for some extra attention.

Isn't that what you told him to do earlier?

Capitalise on the capitalisers?

Oh my God, I'm freezing my nipples off.

There's no clout in line-waiting. Let's go.

Back of the line.

Nah, it's cool. I know, Sunny. We're on the list.

Don't know no Sunny.

Hey, get that camera out my face.

No, it's cool. It's for the clout.

Oh, really?

Back in the line.

Bro, can you at least check the list?

I could, but you still won't get in without girls.

- Yo. - Oh, shit.

Thought you were a dude. You dress like one.

Oh shit. What up?

Bouncer: My man.

What's up, D?

- You know these guys? - Yeah, man, they're good.

They're good, reach.

Don't look at me, Build-A-Bear.

I told you this place is lit.

Okay, I gotta go back to work, eh?

I'll catch up with you guys later.

Just keep it moving.

Let's go get a drink.

Hey, is that for me?

Hi, hello. Can we get a-- Sorry, can we get-- Excuse me!

Hello?

Dude, I'm totally getting profiled.

Where's Neal? I need some of his whiteness.

What are we drinking?

- Shots? - Shots?

Yo, this place is really rubbing off on you.

You know what? I think I got this.

How many shots?

- Two? - Two?

You're trying to look big time with two shots?

Well, there's two of us. I'm just, like, doing the math.