Powerless

And we go now live to Crimson Fox

for an announcement.

Man, this is tough.

Starting today, I'll be leaving Charm City

and taking my talents to Metropolis.

- - Adjacent.

I can't believe she's just leaving us.

I mean, she is our main hero.

What if somebody like the Joker attacks?

The Joker is an A-list super villain.

He wouldn't attack a dump like Charm City.

We begged for a WNBA team, Emily.

They said no.

A WNBA team.

Now that Crimson Fox is leaving,

maybe we'll get a cool new superhero.

- What if we got Aqualad? - Aqualad?

No, Aqualad's a sidekick, not a hero.

That's like hoping our city gets protection from a cheese plate.

- - He's right.

It's cool that you guys can laugh about this,

but with Crimson Fox gone, petty crime will skyrocket,

and let's be real: women are always the target.

Emily is right.

The creeps are already feeling emboldened.

Weird Tony the hot dog guy was extra weird this morning.

Wait a minute, you mean Fun Tony the hot dog guy.

Yeah, what's wrong with Fun Tony the hot dog guy?

Yeah?

All: "Hey, sexy lady, come sit on Tony's lap

and touch Tony's hot dog."

Oh, he's definitely talking about his penis.

Yeah, that's his penis.

All right, look, if you're worried about crime,

I can walk you guys to your car at night.

I mean, I don't look intimidating, but...

But what?

I was hoping someone would disagree.

Who cares?

It's going to be fine.

You ladies need to grow a pair.

All of you.

Jackie, there's a bee in my office!

Aah, aah!

Jackie! It looks stingy!

Our fearless leader.

Hey, you know, I was thinking about taking

a self-defense class now that Crimson Fox is gone.

Want to do it with me?

Look, I don't have time for some class.

I'm either taking care of a child...

Jackie!

Or I'm at home with my kid.

I thought you might say that,

so I already found us a class during lunch.

I'll take care of everything.

All you need to do is show up.

There's a chance you'll get to punch a stranger.

Jackie, hurry!

All right, I'm in.

Yah, yah!

Jackie!

The bee did not lay eggs in your hair.

I Googled it. It's impossible.

No, something horrible has happened.

Round up the floor.

A violation has occurred.

At approximately 10:02 this morning,

I walked into my personal bathroom

to discover evidence

that it had been used by another.

Why is no one gasping? Gasp.

Thank you, I feel the same way.

Before today, the only cheeks that had graced that throne

belonged to me

and, of course, my beloved golden retriever, Boomer,

whom I painstakingly taught to go human-style

before he promptly ran away.

Now, I promise you that justice will be swift and fair.

You will be fired.

So please step forward

and take your punishment with dignity.

No one?

No one?

Dorothy...

was it you?

Looking a little depleted,

a little "Turder, She Wrote," maybe, hmm?

A little "Law & Order: IBS"?

That is a guilty face.

Okay, okay, I will flush you out.

And then you'll be fired.

Hey, have you seen Jackie?

Who's "Bitch I'ma"?

Oh, it makes more sense when Jackie wears hers.

- "Bitch I'ma End You!" -

We're taking self-defense classes.

If she ever gets here.

"I'ma Bitch"? Hmm, inappropriate, Emily.

Appreciate the honesty, but still...

inappropriate.

- - You think Jackie's

gonna take self-defense classes in matching shirts with you?

Well, it's sort of, like, an inside joke.

I don't think Jackie does inside jokes.

Well, that's because you're not on the inside.

Me and Jackie, we've got our own thing.

And yet she's not here.

Well, she probably just decided to meet me there.

So I'm gonna go learn to kick ass with Jackie.

Emily?

Hi.

Whoa, that class is no joke.

Yeah, well, Jackie didn't show,

and on my way back, I ran into an alleyway

to avoid one of Jack-O-Lantern's fireballs

and tripped and fell into the trash.

Oh, sexy lady covered in garbage.

Still sexy.

Not now, Tony.

Yeah, that is disrespectful, Tony!

- Mm? - I can't believe it.

Jackie knew how much I was looking forward to this class,

and she just stands me up?

Well, maybe she had an emergency,

or maybe she's sitting in a car over there reading a book.

What?

- -

Self-defense class!

Where the hell were you?

I was busy. I figured you'd just go alone.

Why do you smell like garbage?

Actually, can we talk about this later?

No, we're talking about this right now.

Friends don't stand each other up.

They send a text with enough sad emojis

to make you feel how sorry they are.

Is this an UberPOOL? 'Cause I didn't select pool.

It is not a pool.

I was just telling this little homeless lady

to get out of my car.

I'm trying to make a little extra cash on the side, okay?

Why didn't you just tell me that?

So are we going or what?

You heard her. Get out of my car, sporty hobo.

Tiny water bottle?

Jackie, I'm not sure why you... Ow!

Ow, ow, ow, ow,

ow, ow, ow, ow,

ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

I'm gonna be direct, which is something you love about me.

Oh, yeah.

My daughter Ruby's class

is taking a trip to Six Flags Metropolis.

It's $500, and money's a little tight right now.

I really don't need any of these human bedbugs knowing that,

so as far as you're concerned, I am not an Uber driver.

Yeah, but with Crimson Fox gone,

you could get mugged or get hit by Jack-O-Lantern's fireball.

It's just not safe for you to be driving strangers around.

- All right. - Aah!

Who drives strangers around?

No one, not one person ever.

Where'd you learn that?

I have two brothers.

Oh, you have two brothers? Older or younger?

Please stop bonding with me.

- Listen, if you need... - I don't want to talk about it,

and I really don't want you to "Emily" this.

Aww, people are using my name as a verb?

Aah! I will not Emily this.

So I don't want to make this a big thing,

but someone who I'm not going to mention

needs a little help.

Oh, are you trying to Emily something?

Look, we're not gonna give money to Jackie

unless we know what it's for.

Well, she told me not to... Damn it.

- Oh. - I knew it was Jackie.

Now, that was some David Blaine .

Okay, this cannot be repeated.

Her kid needs $500 for a school trip.

I thought we could all pitch in to help her out.

Jackie is never gonna take our money.

She is crazy private.

I have a pretty genius way around that.

- Oh, so you're gonna Teddy it. - What's that?

- Well, that's... - That's when you try

to turn your name into a verb unsuccessfully.

Ooh, you just got Wendy-ed.

Everyone in my office except I'ma Bitch.

You can stay here.

That's not even what the shirt said.

The Three Amigos,