The After Party

He's taking a shit.

- Right now. - Not gonna rap for a guy taking a shit.

- Rahmel, sir? - Shut the fuck up!

I understand this is a bit unorthodox, but my guy OH! here

is the hottest rapper in the streets without a record deal.

So, hold on to that seat, 'cause he's about to drop some shit for you.

Really?

Happy?

- That the flush of a record deal, Rahmel? - Ha!

Rahmel is in LA.

That's his intern, Bernard.

Yo, Bernie, pick that up!

You could have said something, Bernie.

Why would I do that? That was actually hot.

I fucks with OH!

After you wash, my G.

Bernard, please tell Rahmel to come see OH! this Thursday

at Charlamagne's Up Next MC Showcase. Sure to be lit as tits.

"Lit as tits."

A basement full of broke-ass SoundCloud rappers and zero bitches

is gonna be "lit as tits"?

I mean, no offense, man, you're nice, but that sounds horrible.

Okay. No, that's one way of looking at it.

But another is, what could be more lit than showing your boss

you discovered the next 21 Savage

and then possibly getting a producer credit on the album?

You gangsta? Mm-hmm.

You in that murder gang shit? Slaughter gang shit?

- Not really. - You hard?

You shoot somebody's mom before?

Dude, just shoot my mom. She's a total fucking bitch.

I'll tell you this. Why don't y'all change that producer credit

to an executive producer credit

and I'll make sure Rahmel is front row center on Thursday.

Done.

- All right. - All right.

- I'll see y'all. - See ya.

Wait, who let y'all in here?

Shit...

- The higher-ups. - Security. The higher-ups.

Can I ask you a question?

Bro, I do not know if my sister is dating anybody, okay?

She's post-feminist,

which I'm now realizing just means she fucks a lot.

Okay. Not really about your sister.

For once.

Do you think I actually have the talent to do this shit for real?

Seriously?

Okay, I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.

What's missing then?

'Cause we've been going hard for like three years,

shooting music videos, doing every MC battle...

...open mic night, and fucking podcast we can possibly find.

We've dropped not one, not two, not three, but four mixtapes.

Four. Nobody does that, not even Future.

- Fifth one's gonna be the one, my guy. - I have 7,402 Instagram followers.

I don't even have a fucking K.

You know how embarrassing that is as a rapper to not have a K?

My mom's meatloaf fan page has a K, and that shit's on private.

Owen, the genius thing we did was never give up.

C'mon, who said that?

You really gotta chill with the motivational memes, bro.

Jay-Z said that.

So, if you're not gonna listen to me,

listen to the guy that gets to put his D in B on the reg,

all because he never gave up.

Even when every record label passed on Hova God.

My pops mentioned enlisting again last night.

I still go Kendrick, Cole, Rocky,

Chance, Pusha T.

How are you not on your own top five list of lyricists?

Because I have ears.

My top five goes OH! number one always, okay?

Then you have Quavo, Lil Uzi, Lil Wayne, Lil Pump.

Okay, that's a lot of littles.

Kids don't know shit about real hip hop, yo.

What about the god Rakim?

- Is he on Spotify? - Sir, how do you spell Rakim?

You kidding me? He's an icon.

All right, so y'all not total fuck boys after all.

No, sir. No, we're not.

Well, then, why is your man dressed like it?

My outfit is fire.

Your outfit is wow corny, son. Who you trying to be?

Myself.

With a hint of the Migos.

Is it too much, Migos?

- Way too much Migos. - Listen.

The culture is dying and y'all are the future.

Do me a favor.

Don't fuck up the future.

Oh, we're gonna fuck up the future.

No, but like in a good way.

Like how Future fucks up some commas, you know?

Right?

Damn.

Dude, have I told you how fucking little

I'm gonna miss these bitches from high school

when you and I are on that main festival stage just crushing the game?

- Six-thousand times. - Yeah.

We gotta think of some other shit.

- This is weird. - You don't like it?

We'll scrap it. I'm gonna home, gonna workshop some shit,

and then I'm gonna send you some options, okay? - Think of something. - I will. I promise.

- All right, fam. - All right, man.

I love you!

Don't say that out loud.

Don't worry, Owen. You're fine.

Jeffrey, your friend walked in on me again.

His name is Carlos, he's Dominican, and I like it 'cause...

Hey, Alicia.

Hi, Owen.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but I got a show next week in the city

and I wanted to see, like, if you weren't doing anything,

if you wanted to like, come by, if you're not busy.

Even though you're probably like hella busy.

Owen is a rapper and my little brother is his manager.

Oh, cute.

Yeah. So, it's this Thursday,

and, Dad, it's gonna be the biggest show of our career.

Like, it's gonna be lit up in there.

A lot of cool people are gonna be there. Remember that guy, Ski Mask the Slump God?

Yeah? I played you his music and you were like,

"Is this really the music you kids listen to nowadays?"

I mean, it would be super tight if you came to support us.

You're not gonna have time to play rap manager at Harvard next year

with your pre-law course load, plus your internship

at Slowski Scheinbaum Saperstein Selquwitz and Mascarpone.

Fuck my life.

What does this idiot want?

Hey, big guy!

Yeah, I was just thinking about you.

How was Napa?

You ready? Wanna run some lines or something?

No, I'm good. I got my lines already.

You look nervous. Now, remember how we talked about confidence, right?

- Confidence. - Thanks.

Yo, this place is actually full.

You ready to kill tonight, my guy?

- Yeah. - Good.

Your sister out there?

Would you stop thinking about my sister for one second?

- She's never gonna fuck you. I'm sorry. - Hey!

I'm sorry, Sarge,

but tonight is not the time to be focusing on trivial things

like my sister's punanjo.

Tonight's about fate, it's about destiny.

And, most importantly, it's about murdering that mic out there.

So, she's not here.

- No, she's not here. - But I'm here.

I'm gonna be on that front row waiting for you.

Thanks, Dad. Not really the same thing, but I appreciate it.

I know. I love you, boy.

- All right. - You have such a supportive father.

Have fun out there. And smile. Smile.

Hey, there you go.

Wow, what a guy.

- Yeah, he's cool. - Love him. He's great.

Yo, did you eat? Because you look a little green.

- I can see it in your face. - No, I'm good.

You ever had ikura?

They're like these little salty balls of goodness

- just exploding with flavor. - Oh, my God.

- You gotta try it. - Back that shit up.

You don't even have to eat it. Just stick your tongue out and lick a little ball.

Yo, pause. What is wrong with you?

- It's fine... - Back the fuck up...

Am I interrupting something right now?

Shit.

- Yo! - Nah!

- What's up, Bernard? - Cool, man.

Cool. Did you bring Rahmel with you?

Nah, I got someone even better. Y'all know Wiz?

Yeah.

- That's Wiz Khalifa. - Yes.

Wow, huge fan. Tight.

- You smoke? - Like...

Like, not all the time. A little bit.

If your definition of a little something is all day every day.

- We love weed. - Shut the fuck up. What are you doing?

One pic of you chiefing a joint with Wiz Khalifa

gets us 10,000 fans on Instagram, easy.

- Pass that L, Wiz. - Shut the fuck up.

- There you go. - Yeah.

Get in there.