The Devil Probably (Le diable probablement)

THE DEVIL, PROBABLY

Young man commits suicide in Père-Lachaise

Père-Lachaise "suicide" was murder

Six months earlier...

Sometimes you shift your weight to the left

and sometimes to the right.

You end up with this.

Show me yours.

You don't walk properly.

Neither do you.

Nor you.

You do.

I proclaim destruction.

Everyone can destroy.

It's easy.

We can sway hundreds of thousands of people with slogans.

Destroy what? How?

You want to know everything and end up doing nothing.

- What will be left? - It doesn't matter.

Anything would be an improvement.

If we're going to get done, we want to know what the point of it is.

The point? There is no point.

Shut up!

Our only strength...

- Our only strength... - Drop it.

Half-wits, morons.

Idiots, the lot of them.

Let's go. Come on.

SOCIETY FOR THE CONSERVATION OF MAN AND HIS ENVIRONMENT

Thousands of dead trees nearby and all around.

X-ray of the legs of a bull living in the neighbourhood.

Destruction of birds and insects beneficial to agriculture.

Rivers and oceans contaminated by seepage.

Fixing of poisons in living organisms, including man.

The threat of prison and even death won't stop them.

It won't stop these either.

The tankers' effluent.

Aren't they being threatened with anything?

It's not just the noise.

Oxides are released from a height of 15 to 20 km, destroying the ozone layer.

Once the traffic has doubled, there'll be no more blue sky.

An earth that is ever more populated and ever less habitable.

The destruction of entire species for profit.

280 species of birds and mammals in about the last hundred years.

400,000 elephants and 1,000 rhinoceros slaughtered in Kenya this year.

180,000 baby seals for $2 million.

- Do you know where you're going? - Yes.

- Where? - His place.

- He hasn't got one. - He's got a room.

- You'll break your parents' hearts. - I can't help that.

Do you love him that much?

You're the one I love, Michel.

With him it's something else, not true love.

What then?

I don't know.

He asked me to be here at five, so here I am.

He might not come at all.

Here he is.

Is it because Luther decided that the Host is sacred only once it had been swallowed

that you hand it out with unclean hands?

- Unclean? - Hands not consecrated by priesthood.

Montesquieu said Catholicism would destroy Protestantism

and Catholics would become Protestants.

You run after Protestants.

Because of the opportunities they offer for living and thinking as you please?

We want to bring Christianity into modern life.

- Why not modern life into Christianity? - We've had enough of the old ways.

Priests and the faithful search daily...

Give us a break from your searching.

They meet daily with Protestants to prepare the church of the future

and build a more logical form of Christianity.

Logical? Aren't all religions illogical?

That's why, like it or not,

the Christianity of the future will be without religion.

You have to evolve, move with the times.

To hell with the times!

You're so civilised, so cultured, you and your bishops.

Is that why your music is insipid and your hymns inane?

All those words and gestures you've invented

are so insignificant, they're humiliating.

God doesn't reveal himself through mediocrity.

You no longer believe in the supernatural

but give us more than words so we may share the fate of the poor and oppressed.

There is great suffering in the world.

A suburban vicar said to me yesterday, "I'm bored!"

So are we. Let's go.

What you're making him do is disgraceful.

What amazes me is how you can use Edwige like that.

Take her money but leave her alone.

Anyway, she loathes you. What about you?

I'm not in the habit of making my feelings for girls public.

What makes you think I have feelings for her?

Feelings?

- You're leading her on. - Edwige, is that true?

Charles, please, don't get involved. Leave us be.

Where was I?

Accelerate the process of psychological disintegration already begun...

Already begun, comma, through books, films and drugs.

Despite appearances, she has no idea about intimacy.

She'll think you don't love her.

Who says I don't? Now go and hurry back.

I'll bring her to you.

We'll leave.

You want to leave?

You won't leave me after what's about to happen.

You know I've only got an hour.

What are we waiting for?

Why did you have to make me so happy?

Don't make matters worse by being stupid.

Poor little Edwige, what have you done to yourself?

What is it to you? You're not going to cry, too?

There's something ridiculous about you that makes you seem funny.

I'll never stop laughing at you.

I'm going.

It's such a bourgeois idea, such an outdated prejudice.

Prejudices are never outdated.

You bore me to tears.

I thought if he didn't come back I'd have to talk to you.

- And did he come back? - No.

What makes you think he won't come back.

Of course he'll come back.

I know you weren't made for each other.

You have nothing in common.

That's not true,

but I'll be his worst enemy if I stop him from loving Edwige.

If I was sure he loved her, it would cost me nothing to decide.

I'd make myself scarce.

- He wouldn't have that. - I'd make sure he didn't feel guilty.

There is a way.

Stop loving him and love someone else.

Oh, Michel.

No, that's not it. If you left him first, he'd come running after you.

Why don't you like him? You're always putting him down.

Me?

Look what I found among his things.

Cyanide. That's a dreadful poison.

There's this, too.

Maybe it's to scare himself, or to scare us.

- Hide it or throw it away. - He'll notice.

Go on, but not just anywhere.

Where's Alberte?

What's the matter?

- I'll tell you everything. - Don't tell me anything.

- No. - Yes.

- No! - Just that. Is it right?

You should know that the derivative of log U is U prime over U.

Now go away and don't ever come back.

He's there, but he refuses to give lessons or be paid for them.

He won't do any more.

Why?

Is there no limit to doing nothing?

Yes, but beyond that you experience such unheard-of pleasure.

What does Alberte say?

I haven't asked her. She doesn't like questions.

You treat her appallingly.

Are you lecturing me?

Don't go. Stay.

Tell me who I love most, Edwige or Alberte?

- You must know better than me. - I don't know. You decide.

- Edwige, obviously. - You're wrong. It's Alberte.

I've told Edwige and she completely agrees.

Suppose you didn't love either of them?

He really told me off.

- That's not true. - Please.

Not another word about me. He'll grow sick of me.

It's a sure way to put him off me.

And don't give him a lift.

- He's insisting. - You'll impress him.

But you won't convince him. You'll only reinforce his ideas.

Are you coming?

- Did you destroy the bottle? - Yes.

- Did he notice? - Of course.

Your new roads pass through wood pulp?

They must be felled. They're seedlings.

SAVE OUR PLANET

Do you know how civilisations end?

It's when stupidity is accelerated.

Growth. Growth of what? Of happiness?

Happiness on credit, the credit card?

Or the happiness of walking in the country and diving into a river?

All this is pretty much above board.

Red mud.

For years, 2,000 tons of sulphuric acid, titanium and cadmium

dumped in the Mediterranean every day.

Dumping it on the seabed is no better.

Mercury waste thrown into the sea passed on to humans through fish.

These pictures can't be shown too often.

15 years to react.

1 to 2% of world tonnage spread along the coast and in the oceans.

Giant tankers are still being launched.

It's up to science to save us.

We'll end up simply waving our limbs about

and eating cakes, completely mad.

Do you want to go back to living in caves?

I ask for nothing, I lay claim to nothing.

No, you want to be an exceptional guy in an exceptional world.

What about you? What do you stand for? Well?

Progress, brotherly love, love?

And you?

Me? Unbridled pleasure.