Bored to Death

All the shadows in the city

used to love ya', what a pity

I miss the question you used to ask me

Bored To Death, cut, mad and lonely bored to death, cut, mad and lonely

Bored to death, cut, mad and lonely

Hey, hey be careful with that

That was our bed, you know guys?

I had heard that the Israeli's had cornered the moving business

like the Greeks are diners

but I mean it seems unusual, you know, to have Jewish movers, right?

Doing such muscle oriented work

What are you? Another self hating New York Jew?

Uh-hum, yes I am, yeah

Bye

Are you sure about this?

You're saying this now after the truck is loaded?

I don't know, yes I don't know, yes, I don't know

- I don't wanna' lose you - See? This is the problem

It's only because I'm out the door that you're finally asking me to stop

It's like you don't take action until it's too late

I'm taking action now

- Don't go - Jonathan

- It doesn't matter - Whoa, whoa, what?

I told you months ago that if we were gonna' make this work

you need to stop drinking and smoking pot

and you didn't

- That was our deal - It's dangerous to go cold turkey

I'm down to white wine, I can't help it

Or I... I still like the way pot makes me think

- May... maybe it's healthy - Pot is not healthy

- They give it to cancer patients - You don't have cancer

Not yet

Goodbye Jonathan, let's go

Please

Come on

I get it, all right

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm crazy!

I'll quit the pot! And the white wine!

- She left you? - Yeah, I'm an idiot

- Too much pot and white wine - She was sweet, I liked her

but you gotta' rebound fast that's the best cure

- Just go on Craig's List - Yeah

I don't know, maybe it's too soon

- You know, I... - Jo-Jo! What did you do?

on the subway, in my ear, along the way the headphones play

I can hear you

You're my favorite song I wanna' sing it again

You're my favorite song, sing to the end

Stuck in my head, we're playing again, and I don't mind

Stuck in my heart, finish to start

It's all right 'cause you are my favorite song

I wanna' sing it again

You're my favorite song sing to the end

Hello

Oh, hey Ray

That sucks, man

- I thought you guys were just mildly unhappy - It happened all of a sudden

She announced the move 2 days ago

Are you destroyed?

You gotta' be destroyed, right? Are you destroyed?

The last time I was heart broken

I felt like someone I had put on my one of those falcon hoods, you know

And all I could see was complete darkness

- Falcon hood? - Yeah

- Anyway, why didn't you tell me? - Because I thought she was bluffing

I didn't think she would actually move out

And then out of nowhere these super efficient Israeli mover guys shows up

All of a sudden it's the radon antebbi in my own apartment

Let me... let me get my computer what is the radon antebbi?

It's uh... it was uh Israeli tactical

Group of people, oh fuck it, I don't know

- You used the work falcon hood - I know what a falcon hood is

Everybody knows what a falcon hood is

- Really? - Yeah

Falcon hood! Anyone?

Radon antebbi!

Okay, we're even

- Anyway, you think you can get her back? - No, I don't think so

I feel like Suzanne started to think that I was a loser

because I'm struggling to write

- I mean this second novel... - Yeah, uh, listen

just yesterday Leah was like "Why do you go to... in public school?"

I'm not gonna' teach art at a public school

I don't wake up till 11 A.M. go teach art

If you did teach it, would be steady income

Don't be disgusting

Those women were into us because we were Artists

and then reality hits

and no money and no real future and then you know wsshhh

Leah's gonna' break up with me any minute now

I mean it's... we haven't had sex in weeks

We are losers

We're not losers, okay?

Look, you're gonna' be on my website next week

I made you a therapist

Look at that

I wish you'd made me some more heroic

You are heroic

Therapists are heroic they're the heroes of listening

Next time, give me some big muscles, some super powers

At least in your comic, I can be a hero

Did you ever look at that picture of me? It's pretty cool, isn't it?

- Hello - I saw your ad

- What? What ad? - Craig's List, missing persons

Yes, of course, sorry

Um, most of my clients are word of mouth, so I forgot about my ad

Uh, how can I help you?

It's about my sister, I think she's missing

What... what do you mean you think?

She hasn't answered her phone for 2 days and her voicemail is full

And I came up from Philadelphia to go to a concert with her

and she's not in her dorm

Where are you? Let's discuss this in person

Rachel?

- Mr. Aames? - Yes

- Can I sit down? - Okay

Very nice to meet you

I'm really glad you found me on Craig's List

I love Craig's List, I use it for everything

I didn't know what to do, so I typed in missing persons and I found you

And you said your rate were reasonable

They're very reasonable, they're...

$100 for the day

- I guess I can afford that - Great, okay, then down to business

- Do you have a picture of your sister? - No

- Wait, I do on my phone - Great

- Who's that? - Her gross boyfriend Vincent

And what's gross about him besides that tattoo?

I don't know, he's English and he's a bartender

- And he's old like 30 - That's not old, I'm 30

Anyway, they fight all the time

My sister says even though Vincent's a total jerk

they have amazing sex

Guys who are assholes are always the best at sex

It sucks

I don't know why the world is like that

But nice guys can be good too, you know

Thoughtful, attentive, just loving

Whatever, I think Vincent's a meth head

and she wanted to break up with him and maybe he went homicidal on her

Breakups can be hard on a guy

- What? - My girlfriend moved out today

It's actually kinda' upsetting, um...

Are you really a private detective?

Yes, I think the thing to do is find this Vincent

Find him... we find her

Serche Lom

I don't understand you

Oh instead of Serche Le Femme

I'm gonna' try something different

Serche Lom

- Do you speak French? - No, I'm taking Spanish

Espanol, it means, find the man

Where did Lisa meet Vincent?

At the bar where he works The Park Side Lounge

Everyone at NYU goes there because they don't...

Hi George

- Where are you? - I'm working, uh, at a job

Don't forget you're working for me tonight, it's important

I know, I'll be there, okay?

- Okay - All right

Another case closed

Are you really a professional?

As I put in my ad, I'm not licensed

but I will find your sister, I promise

I wanna' help you

I hope everything will be all right

- This whole thing is really weird - Don't worry

Get home, I'll call you later tonight, okay?

Penn station!

Here you go

Where have you been? George is uh pissed

- He's drunk already? - Don't pull that bullshit

Okay, he's pissed as in angry at you, the party's almost over

All we've got left are "D" list celebrities

and he wanted you to get good quotes for the party

- No, I'm sorry, I've had a bad day - Well, what happened?

Suzanne moved out and broke up with me

- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that - It's... it's all right

- How are you and Sam doing? - Actually we broke up too

That's strange, that we should both be going through breakups at the same time

Actually I'm happy we're alone

'Cause the only reason to be with somebody is to have sex and I don't need sex

I mean, when you're doing it, it's okay, but when you're not, it's like what's the point?

Yeah

I guess

Oh here comes George, I better get to work

Do you have any pot?

- Uh yeah - Of course you do

- That's very clever of you - That's what you used to do

- before you quit smoking pot - That's why I thought it was clever

and I'm still off pot by the way

except when you tempt me which is very, very bad of you

What?

This is my Viagra bottle

What are you doing with marijuana in my Viagra bottle?

You gave me that bottle months ago, there were 2 pills left

and you told me I should try them

- Now I'm putting my pot in there - Are you insane?

What if you got arrested for marijuana possession?