The Broadway Melody

There it is, Herb. One verse and two choruses.

- Is this a good song, Eddie? - It's a good song, Herb.

- It's as good as the doll-dance number. - All right.

Skip the verse, do the chorus, tempo.

Hot, eh?

- Good morning. - Hello, Jimmy.

I've got the hottest song you ever heard in your life.

- Is that so? - Yes, that's so.

Got it? Have you got it?

Jimmy, if you can get this crowd to keep quiet, I'll sing it for you.

- How about a little harmony? - All right.

Listen, let's go through it. One and two.

The second chorus, a little jazz, a little pep.

Come on, I'll vamp until ready. Let's go.

Go on, Herb.

- That's it. - The chorus in F-sharp.

Hot dog!

Listen, kid, if we can get that number, we're a cinch for the Palace.

- Hello, girls. - Hello, Eddie.

Listen, Eddie, we'll take that song and smack it over for you.

Sure!

Oh, no. Not this song, babies. Zanfield's bought it for his new revue.

And the Mahoney Sisters are coming from the West to put it over for me.

Listen, Eddie, you're not gonna waste a swell number like that...

...on a smalltime sister act, are you?

Nix cracking, Rosie.

Half of that sister team is going to be the future Mrs. Eddie Kearns.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Eddie.

If you wanna be made overnight, just give us a crack at that number.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

No, no. Positively not.

I've gotta get back to the hotel. The girls are waiting for me.

Oh, but listen, if you want a song...

...see Georgie Cohan.

He writes good music too.

How about it, Jimmy?

Oh, I'll take that, thank you.

Gee, this is elegant, ain't it?

Tell you better when I get a peek at the beds.

Quiet. I told you to pack that cooking outfit in the trunk.

Yeah? Well, I'm taking no chances.

If we can't pay our bill and the hotel holds the trunks, we still eat.

And, baby, when you don't eat, you lose a lot of calories.

Calories? What are they?

Oh, acrobats, you big sap.

- Well, I never got fat on your cooking. - No?

You never got that complexion from the Greeks.

- Don't talk to me like... - lxnay, ixnay.

- Leave us plenty of towels too. - I did.

And I counted them.

How high can you count?

Well, everything's okay. Will there be anything else?

Yeah, food.

I think he may stall for a tip. Get to the window and give me the high sign.

Hank, I don't wanna do that. Don't be such a cheapskate.

Screw.

Say, did they run out of everything but dollar signs on this thing?

One coffee, one order of fried eggs. There's two in an order, ain't they?

- Yep. - And one order of rolls.

- Hank. - Yes?

Come look at the elegant view.

Oh, that will be all, thank you.

Cup of coffee, order of rolls, a couple of eggs.

It worked.

Oh, Queenie, New York.

The place we've dreamed and talked about.

- Ain't it swell? - Yeah.

But there's something about it that scares me, Hank.

Scares you? Well, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Well, it seems like we're taking an awful chance.

We were getting along so well out west.

Plenty of work, small jumps, a chance to save money.

And the act always went over big.

But here, nobody knows us.

Oh, I'm afraid.

Now don't lose your nerve, honey.

But we haven't got much money.

Oh, Hank, couldn't we go back, just for one more year?

Back to those opera houses and town halls?

Those cheap hotels and their lobby comics?

Cooking our own food...

...washing our own clothes and ironing them on mirrors.

Riding in those smelly day-coaches.

Going ragged all summer and then darn near freezing in the winter. And why?

Just to save money enough to get to New York and show our act.

Oh, honey.

With your looks and my ability...

I wouldn't steer you wrong.

Now don't worry.

You see that electric sign of the fellow in BVDs?

- Yeah. - Well, right there...

...they're gonna have the Mahoney Sisters.

- In BVDs? - Yes, in BVD...

Baby, they were plenty smart when they made you beautiful.

Come on, let's get cleaned up before Eddie gets here.

I'll run a tub for you.

The Mahoney Sisters in BVDs.

Hey, what are you singing?

The bubble song from Lux.

Will you join me?

No use of us both getting wet.

Will you wash mine?

I might as well. You never wash anything but your neck.

I not only wash them. I gotta pick them up.

Oh, Hank, I didn't think.

Oh, you never do.

Oh, don't strain yourself. I'll get them.

Oh, boy, this is going to be good.

Oh, I'll go.

Can you imagine my embarrassment?

Uncle Jed!

Hello, honey. How are you?

- Fine, and you? - Great.

- Gee, I'm glad to see you, Hank. - Oh, Queenie, hurry up. It's Uncle Jed!

Uncle Jed?

I'll be right out.

What a break for you.

- I'll be with you in just a minute. - All right, honey, but hurry.

What do you know, Uncle Jed?

I've got you booked for 30 weeks over at the Manley Time.

Nothing doing. We're in New York to stay.

Say, listen, girls...

...you know, I know this town better than you do. And there are more sisters...

...doing their acts over the lunch counters in New York than over the...

Than in the theaters.

You're just a crapehanger.

Maybe, but let me tell you...

...tell you, tell you, tell you...

What's the name of that record you're playing?

Say, listen, girls...

Yeah?

Well, what is it?

I love both you girls, and I want to see you get along.

Sure, Uncle Jed, we know that.

But we aren't leaving this town till we get a flash at Babe Ruth and Grant's Tomb.

- Oh, will you get that, Uncle Jed? - You bet.

Oh, girls, your break... Your break...

Your coffee's here.

Bring the toothbrush glass when you come.

- All right. - Will you have some coffee, Uncle Jed?

No, thanks. I just had my breakf... I just ate.

- Yeah? - Uncle Jed!

Queenie!

Gosh, what a big girl you are.

- And so beautiful. - Ain't she, though?

Well, I suppose you've decided to stay in New York.

Yeah, we're all set. But thanks for the offer, Uncle Jed.

That's all right. I'll keep it open for a few days.

- All right. - Goodbye.

- Oh, goodbye, Uncle Jed. - Lf you wanna see me, just call me up.

Yeah, all right. You're in the phone book?

You bet.

I think we're making an awful mistake not to take that work.

I know what I'm doing. We stand as big a chance as anybody else.

What did the Duncans have when they hit Times Square?

"My Patio."

Say, we've got more than the Duncans ever had.

Well, the Duncans are pretty good too.

Say, what'd we do to them on the Gus Sun Time?

We knocked them off their seats. Come in.

- Eddie! - Hank!

Oh, baby.

Let me have a good look at you.

- Gee, but it's good to see you. - Oh, boy, is it good to see you! Oh, gee!

That's my Queenie!

- Queenie? You don't mean to tell me it's... - Sure.

Queenie, all grown up and everything.

Ain't she? That sisterly kiss won't be so hard to take now.

I'll say it won't.

- Take it big. - I did.

You were a funny-looking thing the first time I saw you...

...with those gangly legs and freckles.

But you certainly turned out to be a beautiful girl.

Well, I'll go get some clothes on.

I'm just crazy about her, Eddie. She's so young and beautiful.

Of course she is.

Well, Hank, now that you're here, when are we going to get married?

Oh, not till we've put this act over. I'm gonna give Queenie a break.

Always doing something for somebody else.

No wonder I love you.

- I kind of got a weakness for you too. - Yeah?

Mrs. Eddie Kearns?

Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

Swell, Eddie.

Yeah, and you can feature that anytime in the electric lights.

- Gee, still the same sweet kid, ain't you? - Why, certainly.

Hank, did you pack my new dress in the trunk?

I'll get it for you in a minute.

Come here, Queenie.

- Gee, I can't get over how she's changed. - Well, you sure look elegant, Eddie.

- Doesn't he, Hank? - He's an eyeful.

Three carats.

Platinum.

And here's the payoff. Look, but don't laugh.

Gold garters!

Oh, Eddie, I always knew you'd make good.

Yeah, and I ain't forgetting that you're the little girl that made me come to New York.

Remember when I wanted to quit and give the whole thing up...

...and you made me stick it out?

Well, now I'm gonna do something for you.