Carol's Second Act

Now, I know you're sad

about not finishing the marathon, but don't worry.

You know who else never finished a marathon?

Abraham Lincoln.

Socrates. Uh, Meryl Streep.

Hold up. You don't know that about Meryl.

She can do anything.

Okay, Dennis.

Just keep that on there.

I got to race to my next patient.

Okay.

Oh, excuse me.

Wow, I have never seen Marathon Day

from inside of a hospital.

I just love the hustle and bustle.

So much excitement.

So much stupidity.

Marathons are stupid.

I mean, the first guy that ran one

literally dropped dead, but people looked at that

- and thought, "Oh, yeah, that's for me." - Yeah.

So, your doctor told you to get a little exercise,

and you took that as, "Run until you pass out"?

- Eh. - Come on, man.

I just want to pull these people aside

and say, "What are you running from?"

But I know the answer.

Their sexuality.

- Or credit card debt. - Yeah.

Why haven't we started rounds?

Is Dr. Jacobs... late?

Oh, that's impossible.

She's never late. Are we early?

That doesn't sound like us.

Ah!

Apologies for my tardiness.

I got caught up in marathon traffic.

- The worst, right? - Oh, a small price to pay

for these lionhearts to undertake their heroic journey.

Today is one of our busiest of the year.

But, unlike Pheidippides,

the esteemed runner of Marathon,

your journey will encompass injuries

ranging from dehydration to metatarsal stress fractures.

Feet? I hadn't really thought about treating feet.

What'd you think we were gonna be treating on Marathon Day?

Gingivitis?

Dr. Jacobs.

Did you get stuck in traffic, as well?

There was a bit of a logjam around mile 17,

but I was able to separate from the pack

and clock a personal best for the final nine miles.

Wait, are you late because you just ran the marathon?

Wow.

You just ran 26 miles,

and you're less out of breath

than Dr. Sommers after a rant about bees.

Just saying, if they go, we go.

How do you feel?

Never felt sharper.

Yeah, I get it.

Exercise does wonders for the brain.

There's Carol doing a crossword

and Carol doing a crossword after Zumba.

The difference is amazing.

- Let's move. - Yeah.

Dr. Jacobs, are we...

moving? Dr. Jacobs?

One minute. I just have to...

- Are you okay? - Yes.

- But you're falling down. - I don't think so.

- You're on the floor. - Agree to disagree.

1x04 - Marathon Day Original air date October 18, 2019

Now, our first patient is a hero

who sacrificed her body for glory.

Now, who would like to take a crack

at the differential diagnosis?

- Dr. Sommers. - Allow me.

Patient exhibits symptoms of mild dehydration

and is experiencing mild muscle spasms

in her left quadricep.

Case closed.

Honestly, I'm fine.

I just need some fluids,

and I'll be ready to get back to work.

Although the collapse could be the result

of a number of complications.

One that springs immediately to mind:

running a marathon.

I couldn't even tell you were collapsing.

I just thought, "What an incredible way to sit."

Does everyone have to be here?

You know, we should really run some additional tests

to rule out irregular heartbeat

and lung disease and monitor those muscle spasms

to make sure there's nothing more serious.

I don't need additional testing.

My fall was obviously a result of dehydration.

There's no reason to waste

valuable patient bed space on me.

Nonsense. Now, who among you

is up to the task of helping our gladiator?

Dr. Kenney.

We've made eye contact.

Oh.

She's all yours.

Oh!

Think the monitor's shot.

No, it's working just fine.

Uh, hold up, interns.

I've got to stop by radiology.

Dr. Kenney, you'll be with Dr. Jacobs.

The rest of you, get your hats and prepare to hold on to them.

You're riding with me.

Yeah!

A day off from Dr. Jacobs?

Oh, my gosh. My back just stopped hurting.

Oh, Carol, you drew the short stick,

which, to you, probably just looks like a regular stick.

This is great. I get to spend the entire day

impressing Dr. Frost with my medical savvy.

Uh, slow down, cowboy.

Yesterday, you lost your watch in the MRI machine.

Okay, guys, guys, the point is

this sucks for Carol.

No, this does not "sucks for Carol."

I'm glad she's my patient.

I see this as an opportunity.

- To be kicked out of the program? - No.

To have a hospital food tray thrown at your head?

- No. - To rapidly go full gray?

No, but thank you for thinking it's natural.

No, I will finally

gain her respect as a doctor.

How? In case you haven't noticed,

we've been trying to do that for the past month.

Trying?

Succeeding.

For your information, I plan to give Dr. Jacobs

the full Carol Kenney treatment.

So, what, like, lots of pointless stories?

No.

I am going to win Dr. Jacobs over

through excellent medical care delivered with compassion.

I like your stories, Carol.

They remind me of jazz.

Oh!

They go everywhere,

you never know how long they're gonna take,

and you can zone out in the middle

and still get the general idea.

Well, I like to think of my stories more like hip-hop.

They are cool, edgy

and often feature unexpected cameos,

like the time I saw Yo-Yo Ma at the grocery store.

Well, this next marathoner earned himself a medal

and a particularly gruesome case of foot ulcers.

Oh, no.

Why doesn't everyone sidle up right next to me

and take a gander.

You'll notice a splendid greenish tint

reminiscent of Monet's Nymphéas,

which means we are most likely dealing with an infection.

Ah, the foot.

It's a curious beast.

I'm gonna dig into this one.

Caleb, you look whiter than usual,

which is saying something,

'cause you own two pairs of Birkenstocks.

You know how every doctor

has their one medical thing that grosses them out?

Yeah, mine's bile. It's vomit's vomit.

I hate phlegm.

I mean, if the Germans named it, you know it's bad.

Well, none of the traditionally disgusting things bother me.

But one night in medical school,

I got trapped in a room with a rotting foot.

And I haven't been the same since.

So?

My ex-girlfriend had warts on every toe.

Move on.

Oh, boy!

This abscess

is fully encased in a sac of fluid.

Okay.

This patient goes to, uh...

Dr. Kutcher.

- Yes! - Yes!

Hello. I'm Dr. Kenney.

Isn't this fun?

Here we go.

Looks like the teacher has become the student

and the student, who was a teacher, has become the doctor.

Well, I see patient's sense of humor

is in critical condition.

Dr. Kenney, this is a waste of time.

Just release me so I can get back to work.

After my exam.

Now, are you currently taking any medications?

Nothing relevant to this.