The Boondocks

I love you, Mommy.

This is our target -- the nuclear power plant.

If we capture the plane at precisely the right moment,

they will not have time to shoot down the aircraft.

If they hit that power plant

with that aircraft,

the casualties could be in the hundreds of thousands.

God help us all.

...except...

What? What is this CPT?

That means the plane is gonna

get here when it gets here.

They picked the wrong airline.

And don't come up here complaining and shit.

You motherfuckers wanna come on here

and act a goddamn fool?

I'm about to go on break.

You motherfucking terrorists kill me.

Come see why black incompetence...

Hey, hey, shorty!

Whoo, whoo!

Goddamn, that bitch phat as a motherfucker.

...is our funniest weapon in the war on terror.

We can't let you through, homey.

Hey, this is Osama bin Laden nephew, nigga.

Well, I-- I'm -- I'm once removed. I-I--

No -- I just fucking with you, dawg.

Go ahead, nigga.

Starring Gary Anthony Williams.

But you know what they say -- when it's your time to go,

it's your time to go. John Witherspoon.

What if it's the motherfucker next to me time to go? Huh?

Mo'Nique. It's very important

this plane leave on time.

Damn. Now, are you yelling at me or shitting at me?

Snoop Dogg. Hijacked?

Them niggas ain't getting my wizzie fo' shizzle, nigga.

You know what I'm saying? And 50 Cent

as Air Marshal 50 Cent.

I'll stop those terrorists...

or die trying.

Get ready. This time, it's going down.

This is a hijacking. Remain in your seats --

No, this nigga didn't.

We have a bomb on the aircraft.

Everyone remain --

I'm about to go get dressed.

We gonna fly on the Soul Plane!

Riley, hurry up.

We gonna fly on the Soul Plane!

And make sure you pee before we leave.

I ain't gonna miss my movie

going to the bathroom with you.

I'm gonna let you go in there by yourself

and get molested by a nasty white man.

What's wrong with you?

I don't wanna go to the movie. Why not?

I don't ever wanna go to the movies with you again.

Not after what happened last time.

What happened last time?

We got arrested. And shot at.

Ah. Racism.

Daddy said I can go to the movies,

but he said I'm not allowed to see Soul Plane.

Good. You don't wanna go to the movies with him.

He's crazy. Hush.

Can't see Soul Plane? Why, little baby?

Because of the types of stereos or something.

Types of stereos?

Oh. No, no, no, little baby doll.

This is a good theater. They have THX.

She means stereotypes.

Stereotypes? In Soul Plane? That's nonsense.

Say, how about we tell your daddy

we saw something else, hm?

You mean...lie?

That really doesn't seem to be a good idea.

Hush, boy.

You know,

it's okay to break the rules

every once in a while.

I won't tell if you won't.

Okay. Hee-hee.

Sometimes I think Granddad may be a bad influence.

Hey, Riley. Don't forget the camcorder.

Now, the first Soul Plane was funny.

Pfft. About as funny as a lynching.

Oh, hush, boy. You ain't even see it.

I never seen a lynching, either,

but I know they not funny.

See? Shows what you know. I've seen funny lynchings.

No, you haven't. I have so.

Roscoe Patterson's lynching was funny.

Yeah, so them niggas was like,

"Roscoe, you better leaves town

"before Mr. Charlie and them crackers

gonna come for you."

I'm like, "Man, fuck them crackers, man.

This is Roscoe Patterson." Nigga, I don't give a fuck.

I just don't give a fuck.

Know what I'm saying? White man can eat a dick.

Eat my balls, nigga.

There he is! Get that nigger.

Uh-oh.

Come on, let's go!

Oh, shoot, he's fast! Watch out!

It, uh, wasn't really funny after that.

Mm-mm.

This is gonna be so much fun.

This is going to be...

...the worst day of your life.

I'm bringing nunchucks.

Huh?

Here, put these coats on.

Huh?

Here you go.

What is it?

It's pinto beans and neck bones.

Now put this meat loaf and gravy under your shirt.

Why don't we just get treats from the concession stand?

You think I'm paying $20 for some popcorn?

You must be out of your damn mind.

Are we allowed to bring in food?

Of course we're allowed to.

It's my food, isn't it? I paid for it.

That means I can eat it when and where I want.

Boy, put this pot roast in your pants or you ain't eating.

Oh, this is nothing. He's just getting started.

Robert Jebediah Freeman

had sworn a lifetime intifada

against the movie theater industry

for exorbitant prices and poor customer service,

which, interestingly enough,

did not stop him from going to see movies.

Okay, gang. Keep your eyes open.

Open for what?

We're sneaking in.

That's not true, little baby.

I bought my tickets online. Scout's honor.

Look. Granddad.

I got some money saved. The movie will be on me.

Now, you put that away, boy.

These movie devils ain't getting

any more of our money.

Mm-mm.

Uh...Mr. Freeman?

It says, "No outside food," little girl.

That's why we keep it inside our clothes.

Are you sure this is legal?

Okay, everybody, look alive now. Here's our chance.

I understand you need your job,

but you're still a human being with dignity.

Yeah, I mean, look at this uniform, man.

I look like a fucking dork.

Why would they make me dress like this?

What did I do to them, huh?

You should take action.

Ah. What can I do?

Have you ever thought about forming a union?

What's a "union"?

Hey, hey, hey! Hey!

I paid. I got my ticket.

Yeah, yeah. I got a ticket for you.

A one-way ticket to "Get the hell

out of here, negro" land.

Go on! Move it!

Nigga, you gay.

How about that?

Another victory of the common man

over corporate greed.

You're not advancing any struggle

by being cheap, Granddad.

I'll advance my belt on your behind

if you don't shut your ass.

Oh, my God.

I didn't pay to get in the movie.

Uh, yes, we did. I -- I ordered my tickets online.

Who got the neck bones?

No, you didn't.

We snuck in.

We stole a movie.

Now, who makes the rules?

Grownups, right?

And I'm grown up, and I say it's okay.

We're gonna get caught.

We're gonna get caught.

I should call my daddy and turn myself in.

Oh, yeah? You gonna tell him

what you came to see, huh?

I bet he'd like to know that.

Maybe I should make a phone call.

No. Please, no.

Good. Now just calm down.

Try some mashed potatoes. Who got the popcorn?

I do, Granddad.

Ow! Hey.

What the hell is wrong with you?

What am I gonna do with raw popcorn?

You're gonna ruin my dentures.

Whew. Damn, can't watch a movie without popcorn.