Carol's Second Act

Well, looks like Ms. Hirsch's drug rash has almost resolved.

Uh, she's reacting normally to the new antibiotics.

You know who's not reacting normally? Jenny.

She's clearly still into me.

Uh, that Jenny?

I thought she was the one that called it off.

Yeah, but you can't just call off chemistry.

We still got it.

Check this out. Be cool.

Morning, everybody!

You feel that?

It's palpable.

Do I not know what "palpable" means?

Buddy, it's over.

On your only date,

you abandoned the woman at a restaurant.

That is not what happened.

No, th-that's exactly what happened.

The fat lady has sung, and the song was called "It's Over".

Well, I, for one, am glad it's over.

Keeping secrets makes me nervous.

Yeah, and you should at least be happy

that Carol never found out.

Hey, guys. What are you talking about?

- What? - Uh, nothing. Sports.

Oh, sports. What about sports?

Just a lot of heteronormative stuff about it. Bye.

That was a little weird.

Caleb's a little weird. You're just questioning this now?

Come on, Carol!

Geez. We finally have a night off tonight.

You'd think people would be happier.

Well, you know, Mercury's in retrograde, the winter blahs,

we work in a place where people die.

Oh, Lexie. There's a friendly face.

- What are you doing with your night off? - Nothing.

- Geez. - Uh, sorry. Tough case.

Oh, is it anything I can help you with?

- Hands off, Carol! - Oh.

Okay, Dennis, something's up.

Do you know what's going on?

Oh, um, well... Carol, I can't do this right now.

- I need to go to work. - You work right there!

You don't know my life!

- Is no one in a good mood? - I'm in a good mood.

Everyone's in a terrible mood.

- Okay, deep breath. - (BREATHES DEEPLY)

I'll tell you, Eddie, I don't know what's going on.

With my liver?

No, I know what's going on with your liver.

It's bad, and you need a new one.

You know I can't understand all your technical,

- medical jargon, Carol. - (LAUGHS): Yeah.

Now, the good news is

you're moving up on the transplant list.

Yeah? I guess you guys are all stuck with me

till my new parts come in.

Aw.

Hey, Eddie,

you spend a lot of time with everybody.

Have you noticed people around here

being especially grumpy lately?

No, but when one of your organs doesn't work,

- people try to be positive around you. - Yeah.

It's one of the perks. Ooh.

That and compression socks.

Feels like my calves are getting a nice hug.

Oh.

Yeah, it just seems like the interns are all out of sync.

You know, we became really close this year,

and then now, we're just, like, drifting apart.

And of course, it's my job to bring everybody back together.

Because you're the elder?

No. I mean, obviously, I'm the core of the group.

See, in the fruit bouquet of our friendship,

Lexie and Daniel are the cantaloupe and honeydew,

Dennis is the hard pineapple...

... Caleb is that weird fruit

you're not sure if you should eat it or not...

... and I am the Styrofoam that holds us all in place.

I like kiwi.

You're missing the point, Eddie.

Maybe you're all just overworked.

You're always in the hospital.

I mean, if I leave here, I'll die.

What's your excuse?

Yeah. You know what, Eddie?

You're exactly right.

We all have tonight off.

Maybe we should go out together.

Well, Lexie can't because she has her stand-up show tonight.

What? Since when is Lexie doing stand-up?

Shoot. I wasn't supposed to tell anybody that.

I am the worst at keeping secrets.

But people love to tell me stuff.

I just have one of those faces.

Huh. That would explain why she was a sourpuss this morning.

She's nervous.

Oh, she's terrified. This is her first open mic night.

Oh, this is perfect.

I'm gonna get everyone to go and watch her.

We will bond as a group while supporting our friend.

Man, I'm a good core.

Styrofoam!

The silver lining of falling out of a treehouse

is that my son uploaded it to YouTube.

The comments are mean, but I like the attention.

Well, you fractured your tibia

and fibula, so you're gonna be in a cast

for six to eight weeks.

That long?

I got three little boys.

Plus, I'm a crossing guard at a middle school.

I can't go to work on crutches.

Those kids will eat me alive.

Oh, don't worry. We've submitted your claim to insurance,

so soon, you'll be swinging babies

in a brand-new wheelchair.

Dr. Sommers.

A word?

Dr. Sommers, Deidre isn't getting a wheelchair.

Her insurance rejected the claim.

They approved her for crutches.

Crutches? With three kids and working as a crossing guard?

I mean, we might as well break her other leg now,

'cause it's gonna happen.

This is what insurance companies do.

They approve the option that's cheapest

rather than the option that's best for the patient.

I've battled the insurance companies many times.

You never get what you want.

I find that people respond to kindness.

Yeah, so maybe all I need to do is

put a little bit of sugar on it.

Oh, I see.

The insurance companies would approve everything

if I was friendlier.

Well, watch out, insurance companies.

Here comes Dr. Sommers and his sugar.

Yeah. You're learning, and that's what's important.

Lexie's doing stand-up?

Yes. And, you know, we've been kind of a mess lately,

so I'm putting together a secret group bonding trip

to go support her.

- Pass. - (SCOFFS)

Dennis, it won't be the same without you.

You are the core of this group.

That is true, huh?

- I'm in. - Yes.

And we could use the hang time.

Stand-up makes me uncomfortable.

Daniel, it won't be the same without you.

You're the core of this group.

That is true.

I'm in.

And you know, you are the core of this group.

- No, I'm not. - I know, but you should come anyway.

Okay, I'm in.

I'm on the phone with Tanya from insurance,

and she's delightful.

You might think your sugar is working,

but I'm gonna tell you exactly what's gonna happen.

You'll be bounced around from rep to rep

and then placed on a brief hold that will never, ever end.

No, that's not gonna happen.

We're vibing, and I'm gonna get that wheelchair.

Observe.

All right, Tan Tan, let's get to the next steps, shall we?

How do we get our girl Deidre into a shiny new wheelchair?

Oh, that's gonna be easy as pie.

I'm guessing she needs to talk to a supervisor.

I do need to talk to a supervisor.

Probably to go over logistics.

Just to go over some logistics.

And in order to do that...

Wait for it.

... I will need to put you on a brief hold.

Oh, no, no. Maybe we could just keep me on that... (GROANS)

Whatever. I could listen to smooth jazz forever.

Then you're in luck because you will.

Isn't this fun, hanging out as a group?

I think the last time I was in a comedy club,

I was dating your dad.

Mm, looks like the joke's on me.

Hey, you think I should go up there?

- No, Mom. Let's sit down. - Okay.

Hey, I didn't know you invited Dr. Frost.

I didn't.

Well, either someone brought in a Brooks Brothers mannequin,

or it's him.

Dr. Frost?

- Oh, Dr. Kenney. - What are you doing here?

Well, I enjoy amateur comedy.

Reminds me that laughter is the best medicine.

- Yeah. - Except for morphine.

You can't beat morphine. (LAUGHS)

Just give up, man. You've been on hold for hours.

No, it's for a good cause.

Plus, I think the phone is fused to my face.

Oh, you're here.