Coin Heist

I get it. I messed up.

That doesn't mean that I shouldn't, you know, at least attempt to fix it.

Even though I can't go back and change exactly how it is that I got there.

I'm trying to say that I can't fail this time.

So, basically the essence of what...

You know, trying to sound smart can sometimes work in reverse.

I'm not trying to sound smart, I just...

Jason, I'm not gonna change your grade.

Just a little? Like, temporarily.

If you want to pass bio, do what any of us do and study.

Alice.

I'm not gonna feel sorry for the spoiled headmaster's kid,

but if you want to try some other computer nerd, good luck.

All right, gather around.

Design students, come on.

Bring it in, we're gonna see some coins.

Come on, guys, please listen to Mr. rankin.

Hey, Dakota, Dylan...

Come be in love over here.

Thank you. All right, we're gonna go in, we're gonna use our inside voices,

we're gonna be super respectful, really jazzed about coins,

and we're gonna show them what kind of school dennington prep is.

- Shitty one? - Jason.

All right, guys, let's go.

Let's please enter the building in a calm and orderly fashion.

Are you guys excited? Follow me. Let's not dillydally.

These coins are gonna...

Good behavior, Jason.

You're fine. Don't forget to take a pamphlet.

Okay, guys.

Mr. Garcia here is the operations manager, but he also happens to be my cousin.

So, be cool.

Here at the U.S. mint, we are big fans of thorough design.

In fact, I'm willing to bet

that most of you have a few of our best designs in your own pockets.

Do you guys make credit cards?

Uh...

- No... - 'Cause I only use credit cards.

No.

You make quarters and stuff.

- Oh, my god. - Quarters and stuff, yes.

- We press... - I'm still not changing your grade, Jason.

On an operational day.

- Shall we start the tour? - Yes.

Congress passed something called the coinage act in 1792,

but I'm betting...

- Hey. - What did Jason Hodges want?

Nothing.

Wait, he didn't try to ask you out, did he?

Oh, my god. Shut up, Greg.

No, you're right, that would be way too weird.

You're not one of those Jason Hodges type of girls anyway.

And what exactly is a Jason Hodges type girl?

You know, like, um...

No makeup, effortlessly gorgeous,

uh, does well at parties...

You're more of a "no makeup, uh",

I don't care what people think about me, I'd rather be at home gaming"

type girl.

Thanks, Greg.

American state quarters series.

It's similar to that, but set in the wild as opposed to state-by-state specific.

Oh, he just asked me to change his grade for him, and I said no.

Okay, of course he asked you to change his grade.

Is that all people think we do?

You know, I have a very important computer science project due fourth period

and I'm stuck on this field trip.

Speaking of that, I actually have it on my phone if you want to look.

- Yeah. - Are you serious?

A federal building with a wep-encrypted Wi-Fi network?

- That's cute. - What a joke.

The coins are then heated in an annealing furnace

in order to soften the metal for upsetting, striking and washing.

But here is where the magic begins.

With highly-skilled artists who mold and finesse the artwork

which will eventually be stamped onto each coin using one of these dies.

It's that simple.

Now, I've got a question for the class.

Sometimes our inspectors will catch a flaw in a finished coin.

Now, when that happens, the coin has to be scrapped.

Every now and then, one of them gets out.

It can be very lucrative for coin collectors.

What do you imagine would be the cause of an error coin on a mechanical level?

Go ahead, Benny.

Well, if there's no metal for the dies to stamp,

wouldn't they clash together?

Yes.

I'd imagine the machines are strong enough

so that they would actually damage the dies,

and any coins that get stamped after that would have clash marks on them.

Well done. No one ever gets the answer right.

What, are you looking for extra credit?

- Stop it. - Okay. You know what?

At this moment, I'd like to open the floor to questions.

If anything I've said is confusing,

or if you'd like me to expand...

I think it's very...

- James Hodges? - Yes.

We're going to need you to come with us, sir.

Dad?

I can't leave right now, I'm on a field trip with students.

- We're not asking. - All right, can I just...

That's my son. Can I have a word with my son, please?

- What's going on? - No.

- Officer... - No.

- What's going on? - Jason, just call mom.

- Hey, hey, hey! - It's all right.

Just call your mother, Jason. Call mom.

Please, no phones or video allowed in the mint.

Okay, phones down. Eyes on Mr. Garcia. Okay.

- Stop it. - Phones down, everyone.

We're gonna continue the tour.

Mom. Mom, uh...

Dad just got arrested.

They're at school, too. They've canceled classes and everything.

- Okay... that's enough. - I don't know.

- What's going on? - I don't know.

We're gonna continue the tour.

Oh...

You think they'll make us go back to school?

Ten million dollars.

You have to understand our situation.

Sarah, were you aware...

Your husband was embezzling from the endowment?

No, of course not.

No. No, of course not. I'm sorry, I had to ask.

Okay.

I'm sorry to interrupt your, um...

- Kung pao chicken. - Yeah.

But I just wanted to let you both know that we're gonna take care of this.

It's gonna be okay.

We'll talk tomorrow.

- Have a good night, Harold. - Yes.

He has to think about the board, Jason.

He's a dick.

Mr. smerconish is trying to help us.

He's been trying to help the school for years.

Just like dad.

Yeah.

Just like dad.

He's not guilty. He could never have done this.

- Benny? - Mmm-hmm?

- Great. - Thanks.

Well, I like it.

Nobody likes it.

I guess I'm no one, then.

My dad says it's a symbol.

It's part of his...

Big plan to make this school matter again.

It's just an expensive blob of metal.

Isn't it supposed to be a fountain of knowledge?

Or a wave of bright, shining futures?

Isn't that what he said at the unveiling assembly?

Either way, I like it.

Alice, watcha workin' on?

A new commemorative coin rendering.

Great. Great.

Jason, project? Yes, no, maybe?

All of the above.

Hodges, I know it's rough dealing with what your dad did and all,

but do not blow this off.

You're better than that.

I asked to make this announcement today

because I thought you would appreciate hearing from a student,

someone who believes just as much as you guys do

that extracurriculars and clubs are the heart of dennington prep.

But as president of six after-school clubs,

I am very sorry to announce

that we have been forced to suspend all student activities

due to compromised funding.

Clubs will be the first to go.

This includes the following.

Ant farming, architecture, birding, chess, checkers, Chinese, Chinese checkers,

community service, creative writing, ethics, film views,

gardening, inkwell, math team, mock trial,

queer straight alliance, robotics, Spanish language immersion,

stock market watchers, theater,

young democrats, and young Republicans.

So all we have are classes now?

Everything is canceled,

except for yearbook, newspaper, and the winter formal.

And also...

Also...

There will still be some major cutbacks

to those areas as well.

Unfortunately...

The winter formal will be held in our cafeteria this year.

Which is not as bad of a space.

It's not actually as bad as you think it is.

Guys, it's gonna be sorted out. We're gonna be fine.

Everything will be taken care of.

I'm so sorry.

What are you doing in here? You were supposed to be at the assembly.

The one about how my dad ruined the school?

No, thank you.

I'm looking for guitar strings. I left some in here last week.

That reminds me, we can't afford a real band to play formal,

so we're gonna need your band to play.

My band's real.

Right. I just need to know if you can do it, Jay.