Parks and Recreation

.

[confetti blasts, Ben screams]

GOD!

SORRY! SORRY!

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

I CAN'T HEAR!

AND I'M DYING!

BABY, RELAX.

I JUST WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU.

OPEN THE BOTTOM DRAWER AND READ THE CAKE.

"WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?"

WELL, THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING WEIRDER.

BECAUSE OF THE MERGER,

SCHOOLS HAVE HAD TO MAKE SOME CUTS,

AND THE FIRST THING TO GO WAS THE SENIOR PROM.

SO AS A LAST-MINUTE HAIL MARY,

THE PARKS DEPARTMENT IS THROWING PROM FOR THEM.

THEY ALSO WANTED TO CUT A.P. LATIN,

SO I VOLUNTEERED TO TEACH LATIN.

WHICH REMINDS ME, I NEED TO LEARN LATIN.

I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT JOB IN CHICAGO,

AND I THINK THIS PROM WILL BE A GOOD DISTRACTION.

IN MY SENIOR YEAR WHEN I COULDN'T DECIDE

BETWEEN INDIANA AND AMHERST,

I FOCUSED ALL MY ENERGY ON PLANNING MY PROM,

AND IT WAS THE BEST PROM EVER.

PLUS, I MADE OUT WITH HARVEY FROM THE A.V. CLUB.

- HMM, I THINK I'M JEALOUS OF HARVEY.

YOU SHOULDN'T BE.

A FEW WEEKS LATER, HE ALMOST DIED

FROM A VCR ELECTROCUTION.

LEGEND HAS IT

THAT HE CAN STILL TURN ON A MICROWAVE

JUST BY BLINKING AT IT.

THE POINT IS,

WILL YOU GO TO THE PROM WITH ME?

- WELL, I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK,

BECAUSE WE'RE NEARING 40.

- - COURSE I WILL.

YAY! PROM!

*

OKAY, WE ARE MAKING PROGRESS, PROM COMMITTEE.

NOW, OUR BUDGET IS BASICALLY ZERO,

SO WE'RE GONNA NEED TO COVER ALL THE JOBS

THAT WE WOULD NORMALLY HIRE PEOPLE FOR.

TOM, YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF MUSIC.

- OH, MAN. WELL, ALL RIGHT.

- AW, DID YOU WANT TO DJ, LITTLE PUPPY?

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT LITTLE PUPPIES

COULD OPERATE AN IPOD WITH THEIR LITTLE PUPPY PAWS.

EEW AND BOO.

THIS KIND OF THING IS GETTING OUT OF HAND WITH YOU TWO.

Y'ALL ARE ON OFFICIAL WARNING.

- I DID DJ A LITTLE BACK IN THE DAY.

I HAD A SHOW CALLED "ZOOT SUIT WYATT"

ON CARLETON COLLEGE RADIO.

00 TO 5:00 A.M.,

I WAS THE KING OF SWING.

- I THOUGHT WE AS A CULTURE AGREED

TO FORGET THE YEAR THAT EVERYONE WAS INTO SWING.

- OKAY, BEN, YOU CAN CO-DJ WITH TOM.

- YES. - WHAT! NO!

IF YOU ECLIPSE MY FLAVOR IN ANY WAY,

WE'LL HAVE A PROBLEM.

- ALL RIGHT, ALLISON, YOU ARE IN CHARGE

OF CHOOSING THE PROM THEME,

AND NOW IT HAS TO BE PERFECT AND MAGICAL

AND LOOK LIKE A MILLION BUCKS BUT COST ZERO BUCKS.

SO WHAT DO YOU GOT?

- I WAS THINKING THE THEME COULD BE "FAIRY TALE."

THE THEATER DEPARTMENT DID INTO THE WOODS LAST YEAR,

AND WE STILL HAVE THE SCENERY.

I LAID OUT SOME PRELIMINARY PLANS

IN THIS BINDER.

WOW!

ARE THOSE JENSE-TRODDER COLOR TABS?

I THOUGHT THOSE WERE DISCONTINUED.

THEY WERE.

I HAD TO ORDER THEM

THROUGH SOME MEXICAN BACK CHANNELS.

JUAN JULIO OFICINA SUPPLIES?

I THOUGHT THEY WENT OUT OF BUSINESS.

- THEY DID, BUT THEY OPENED UP A NEW ONE IN OAXACA.

WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?

- OKAY, EVERYBODY GET BACK TO WORK.

AND, ALLISON, COME BY MY OFFICE LATER

SO WE CAN KEEP CRUSHING IT.

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO OVER OUR SET LIST.

- SET LIST? NO NEED. - SO, WHAT,

YOU'RE JUST GONNA PUT YOUR IPOD ON SHUFFLE?

- NO, BUT I COULD. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE SONG YOU OWN IS A BANGER?

EVERY SONG I DOWNLOAD

HAS TO PASS A SERIES OF RIGOROUS TESTS

TO ANSWER ONE SIMPLE QUESTION:

IS IT A BANGER?

HOW MANY BEATS PER MINUTE?

HOW MANY DROPS?

HOW DOPE ARE THE DROPS?

WERE ANY ACOUSTIC INSTRUMENTS USED?

IF SO, IT IS NOT A BANGER.

I ONCE ACCIDENTALLY DOWNLOADED A LUMINEERS SONG.

I HAD TO THROW AWAY MY WHOLE COMPUTER

JUST TO BE SAFE.

I FEEL LIKE, TO ME,

SET LIST FLOW IS VERY IMPORTANT.

I MEAN, WE'RE BASICALLY VIBE CURATORS.

UGH. OH, NO.

- I HOPE THAT HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM'S BIG ENOUGH,

'CAUSE I'M BRINGING 10,000 MANIACS.

- SOMETIMES IT'S REALLY HARD TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU.

THANK GOD WE DON'T HAVE TO BE SEEN TOGETHER.

- YES, WE DO. WE'RE CO-DJs.

NOT ANYMORE.

YOU'RE WORKING WITH...

DJ ROBO DROP.

* BA-DA-DA, MM, MM, MM, MM-MM *

- OH, I HOPE THAT THIS PROM IS EXACTLY LIKE MY SENIOR PROM.

"MY HEART WILL GO ON."

PHOTO BOOTH WITH MONICA LEWINSKY LOOK-ALIKE.

AFTER-PARTY-- MEGAN RICKERSON'S HOUSE.

HER PARENTS USED TO LET US DRINK AS MUCH AS WE WANTED.

THAT'S--THAT'S WHERE WE SHOULD HAVE

THIS AFTER-PARTY.

OR, NO, WE CAN'T,

BECAUSE THEY MOVED TO PRISON.

- PROM IS NOTHING BUT A HUGE PARTY

FULL OF SMILING, DANCING PEOPLE

ENJOYING THEMSELVES.

IT'S LITERALLY MY WORST NIGHTMARE.

AND I HATE PUNCH.

APRIL LUDGATE,

I'M GONNA SING TO YOU A SONG

THAT I FIRST WROTE 15 YEARS AGO

FOR MY PROM DATE, SARAH WEISS.

* YOU'RE AS HOT AS THE SUN

* BUT YOU'RE AS COLD AS ICE

* LET ME TAKE YOU TO PARADISE *

* COME ON, ROLL THE DICE

* IT WILL BE TWICE AS NICE

* SARAH WEI--APRIL LUDGATE

* WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?

BOOM!

WILL YOU?

- FINE. I'LL GO WITH YOU,

BECAUSE LESLIE'S MAKING US,

AND WE LIVE TOGETHER,

AND WE ONLY HAVE ONE CAR RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE YOU LAKED MINE.

WHAT DOES "LAKED" MEAN?

- I TRIED TO JUMP IT OVER A LAKE.

WHY DON'T YOU STAY OUT OF OUR CONVERSATIONS, LARRY!

WILL DO.

SO I WANT TO SHOW YOU

SOME VERY COOL BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES

OF CHERRYHURST PARK,

ONE OF OUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

- WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME ALL THIS?

- BECAUSE I THINK YOU HAVE A REAL KNACK

FOR PUBLIC SERVICE. WE HERE AT THE PARKS DEPARTMENT

HAVE SOMETHING CALLED

"THE APRIL LUDGATE SUMMER SOLSTICE DRUID FESTIVAL

AND BUFFALO WINGS EATING CONTEST."

I DON'T KNOW WHY I LET HER NAME IT.

BASICALLY, IT'S A SUMMER INTERNSHIP PROGRAM.

I THINK YOU'D BE GREAT.

DO YOU WANT TO WORK HERE?

- DEFINITELY! I'M TOTALLY INTERESTED.

- GREAT. - ALLISON GLIFFERT.

HI, MR. SWANSON.

YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?

IS THERE SOME SECRET SOCIETY

FOR THE GREATEST HUMANS ON EARTH?

DO YOU MEET TOM HANKS AND ELENA KAGAN

IN THE STATUE OF LIBERTY'S CROWN?

GOD, THIS FAKE CLUB I'M INVENTING IS AMAZING.

- ALLISON'S FATHER OWNS THE HARDWARE STORE

I'VE BEEN GOING TO

SINCE BEFORE ALLISON WAS EVEN BORN.

WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE FESTERING PUTRID STINK HOLE

ON THE ARMPIT OF FREEDOM?

- THAT'S WHAT HE CALLS CITY HALL.

UM, LESLIE WAS JUST TELLING ME

ABOUT YOUR SUMMER INTERNSHIP,

AND I WAS THINKING ABOUT TAKING IT.

- OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO.

I RESPECT YOUR FATHER TOO MUCH

TO LET HIS DAUGHTER WORK FOR FREE

FOR THE GOVERNMENT.

WHY DON'T YOU GET A PAYING JOB FOR THE SUMMER?

- WHY DON'T YOU SHUT YOUR MUSTACHE?

SORRY. - YOU KNOW WHAT?

TIM HAUTNER,

WHO OWNS THE SAWMILL OUT ON LOWELL DRIVE,

IS A PERSONAL FRIEND.

HE'S ALWAYS LOOKING FOR BRIGHT YOUNG EMPLOYEES

TO GIVE MONEY TO IN EXCHANGE FOR HONEST WORK.

THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.

I DEFINITELY NEED MONEY FOR SCHOOL.