Orphan Black

We're clones. We're someone's experiment. They're killing us off.

Bet you could bounce me like a ball.

Mira saw you screwing my husband!

- Alison! - You came into my house

and probed my wife.

I quit!

Who's the science now, bitch?

Mr. Pouchino, what about that refund?

- I got refund. - M.K. is dead.

- I don't want to with you! - Enough!

- I'm going with Rachel! - No, that's enough!

We are going to take such good care of you.

Oh, my goodness!

I have stick in belly.

- Ah! Ah! - Now, where's Helena?

- Come on! - Gonna be so good.

Hendrix, that was

quite the feed. I mean, I'll have to unbutton here.

Was that a cream-cheese frosting?

- I don't know, is it? - Oh, you are evil,

- Alison Hendrix. - I'll email you the recipe.

No, you will not.

Hey! Haha! She's so tough.

- Hello. - Hey, Alison, it's Beth.

I told you not to call me anymore.

Look. You know ignoring this isn't gonna make it go away.

- OK? I warned you when we met. - Beth, we look alike, that's it.

This other C-word business,

I-I-I don't even know what to say about it.

It's hokum. OK?

The, uh...

- Alison? - Uh... Yeah.

Great! All sold.

Raffle tickets sold! Great!

OK. Bye.

You have been phone-fussing all night.

Have you got something going on the side?

What?!

Yes.

Yes, sir. Yeah. Ahem!

So, guys, uhhh,

Aynsley and I have

a little proposition for the two of you.

We've been thinking

that it's time to shake things up a little bit.

Oh. I, uh...

Oh! No.

- Oh, my God! - No, no, no.

- No, no! Not that! No, no, no! - OK, what we were thinking

was a little...

magic mushrooms.

Yeah, no. I can't.

I tried them once, and they went right to my bowels.

Ohh, Donnie, come on!

No. Alison and I, we prefer to stick to alcohol

poisoning, right?

- Is everything OK there, honey? - Yeah, yeah.

Why don't we open up a Merlot.

Mhm?

You know what? Let's do it. Let's do it.

Yes. That is what I'm talking about, Hendrix. Right here!

Are you sure about this?

She's in denial. She needs to see another face.

Yeah, but you're basically asking me to, like,

drop a bomb in the middle of a Norman Rockwell painting.

Yeah.

Just get it over with.

OK.

We need Helena's location, and you're going to tell me.

So where did she go, Mr. Hendrix?

I already told you, I don't know.

Abandoned you, did she?

Like you abandoned me in the woods?

I didn't abandon you, Alison.

Look, Mister...?

- Frontenac. - Right.

Tell Rachel when you found me, I was looking for Helena.

No, tell Rachel that Helena's not gonna

let her suck stem cells out of her babies!

Not exactly a scientist, are you, Mrs. Hendrix.

I studied kinesiology.

Cosima is a real scientist and a very valuable one.

Sarah and Helena are fertile,

biologically priceless.

- And then there's you. - I'm a mother

- and a homemaker. - As you go back today

to your vapid existence,

I want you to consider

your worth.

Because even M.K. had more value than you.

My hand is purple, and it makes the hair all fuzzy.

- I'm seeing tracers. - Why are my socks wet?

OK... Cold water

for everyone.

Yeah? Got ice in it and everything. And I've got

- poison control on speed dial. - Donnie, Donnie, bro,

have a beer, take your shirt off.

What? No!

It's Alison's

- mystery man again. - What?!

Honey, don't you think maybe we should be turning that off?

- I have to get the raffle tickets. - Wait-wait-wait.

Uhh... wait, wait, wait, wait. What about the buddy system?

- No, no. I'm fine. I'm fine. - OK.

Alison.

Hey.

Oh, Christmas. I have neighbours.

I... I know. I'm sorry.

- You're the other one. - Yeah, I'm Cosima.

Umm, I know. I'm sorry about this whole ambush thing.

It was totally Beth's idea. She just thought

it would be a good idea for you to see

- another one of us. - You have a nose ring.

Yeah, brilliant observation.

- We are so completely different. - I know,

which you may find totally freaky, but I find it...

I find it so fascinating!

Like, this is you and I'm from

- "Berkeley." OK? - I don't even know what that means.

And like, Beth is a cop. Right?

You know?

But genetically speaking, we're all...

we're all family.

Who are we really?

Yeah, that's the existential question, isn't it?

But what Beth is proposing is that we all get together,

hang out all the time. OK, you're just gonna stay with us.

Whoa. Whoa! No. No. Whoa.

We're gonna talk. We're gonna talk, talk, talk about it.

Dude, are you high? 'Cause your eyes are like saucers.

- I can't deal with this. - Our... OK.

Alright.

Shit.

Oh, M.K.

I could have done something.

Sarah, Sarah, I could have been a decoy or something.

Alison, they were watching you too.

I think we all just need to lay low today, regroup.

That sounds like a pretty good idea to me.

Yes. Just go back to my useless life

- like I've been told. - Honey? Honey?

Kira? Wanna give me...

Hey.

She just... She needs a bit of space, love.

So do you. I will bring her to Dyad.

She won't even tell me what Rachel did to her,

and I'm meant to send her back there.

I know it's not easy, but keep the faith.

We're not without allies.

Stay here. Chain yourself

to your sister today.

Donnie, I'm not in the mood

for the Church Fall Fun Fairl. Not with Nona Walker in charge!

Honey, we are still the entertainment. I am doing my dance,

and we are singing our duet, right?

OK. Honey, come on.

What is the Fall Fun Fair without Team Hendrix?

I can't stop thinking about M.K.

and Cosima out there

all alone.

Why do I love my sisters so much when they're ruined my life.

Hey, your life isn't ruined. It's just waiting

for you to come back and sparkle it up.

You're right. You're right.

I made this fair what it is today,

and I won't be sidelined by Nona Walker.

- What... Not what I meant. - Get dressed. Full regalia.

I'll be at the church.

Hi!

- Hi. - Let's put

- the drinks on the dessert table. - Right over there?

Oh no, maybe with the side dishes. I'm sorry,

I know it's heavy. Does that seem good? Side dishes?

Uh, drinks always on a separate table. That way, you avoid a log jam.

- Good. - Alison, you're early,

the Fair doesn't start for another hour.

Well, it might not start at all

at this rate. Where are we here?

OK, so let's just take a big breath, dear.

- OK? - Excuse me?

Well, they said that you might do this, try to undermine me.

Who said that?

Well, Eileen and Nina

and Nancy and Sta... Well, everybody.

And I said, "No, Alison's not like that."

So for your sake, let's just not prove them right, OK?

- OK. - Great!

Maybe next year, Alison.

That one goes on the hot-dog table.

- Nona. - Alison, you're still here?

I-I-I wanted to apologize to you.

I've not been myself lately.

My family and my reputation, you know.

So just feeling a little useless.

- Oh, golly! - You must be parched,

you're working so hard. Have a drink.

Oh, it's very thoughtful of you, thank you!

- No problem. - Alison, welcome.

I hope you're not too dispirited about

- the changing of the guard. - N-no.