Darkwing Duck

3, 2, 1!

Let's get dangerous.

Darkwing, Darkwing... Duck!

Look out!

Let's get dangerous.

And then, Big Webfoot spotted the light

of a distant campfire.

The hairy hulking beast crept through the forest

until he came to the clearing and -

Aah!

I am the terror that flaps in the night.

I am the moth that seeks your porch light.

Oh, it's not Big Webfoot.

It's some jerk in a costume.

Not just any jerk, I'm Darkwing Duck.

The jerk's probably lost.

I am not lost.

Say, is that a compass?

No, it's an outboard motor. I thought you weren't lost.

I'm not! I just wanna make sure the North Star is still north.

Yeah, that's it.

What do we get out of it?

The satisfaction of knowing you helped a friend in need?

Get real.

Then how about a scary story?

Ah...

It's about the time I ran into the...

vampire potato.

Ha-ha-ha! Vampire potato? There's no such thing.

That's what I said.

It happened not too long ago.

Right here, the hideout of my archenemy Bushroot.

Never again will I be lonely!

Never again will I be told,

"I can't go out with you. You're just a shrub."

I found the way to obtain the perfect bride!

I'm growing my own. Spike!

Fertilizer.

Fertilizer.

Fluoride.

Fluoride.

Posey blossom.

Uh-oh.

Posey blossom?

Ohh!

I got it! I got it! I got it!

Oops. Posey blossom?

Posey blossom.

Oh, this is just the thing for that feminine touch.

Why not?

Spike, it's working. She's alive!

Alive, I tell you!

She's a potato.

This isn't posey blossom! It's potato starch.

How could you do this to me?

I can't marry a potato. She's a tuber and I'm a shrub.

Oh, but they say opposites attract.

Maybe, if we really try, we can make it work.

Posey, will you marry me?

No.

I'll take that as a yes!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

I made this gown out of lilac

especially for you, voluptuous one.

Hmm, I wasn't expecting a bride larger than a size eight.

Allow me to carry you across the threshold,

my buxom beauty.

No offense, Posey, but you've got to go on a diet.

I've arranged for every luxury a bride could want.

You've got your own sprinkler system and a fertilizer supply.

Well, what do you want? Jewels? Furs? You're a potato.

OK, OK. I'll run into the city and get you some presents.

You just wait here, and I'll be back in a jiffy.

Meanwhile, handsome, debonair duck-about-town Drake Mallard

was about to hear the most exciting news of his entire life.

Dad, the Muddlefoots are moving!

They are? Yes! The Muddlefoots are moving!

The Muddlefoots are moving!

Let me give you a hand, Herb.

You got a lot of stuff, but I'm sure we can fit it in, trust me.

So, where you moving to? Alaska? Maine? Mars?

Real far, huh? Move?

Oh, we'd never move away from you, Drakeroo.

We plan on living next door to you forever.

Ow.

We're just going on a little camping trip is all.

Oh, Herb, dear, don't forget the VCR.

Only Herb would bring his VCR on a camping trip.

VCR? Keen gear. Can I come?

Hop aboard, little lady.

But I thought you hated camping.

I do, but I wanna catch Big Webfoot, the-million-year-old man-ape.

I'll be famous, you know. Man-ape. Ha.

There's no such thing as a man-ape.

Move! Ah, then again...

Come on, Honk, let's go collar a big monkey.

Big Webfoot. Ha-ha.

Well, at least I'll have some peace and quiet.

We interrupt your peace and quiet for a special news bulletin.

The herbivorous mutant research-scientist-turned-criminal.

Reginald Bushroot

has been sighted robbing Fabric King.

What would a plant man want from a home shop?

Gosh, I don't know.

Which color would look better on my bride,

the magenta or the della Robbia blue?

So, what does your bride look like?

She's a large potato. I'd go with the blue.

You'll need this to make your prison uniform, Bushroot.

Suck gas, evildoer.

Ah-ha!

Gas has no effect on me. Take this, duck!

Ew! Dandruff!

He's a plant, LP. That's pollen.

Ah-Ah-Ahchoo! Gesundheit.

Ahchoo! Gesundheit.

Ahchoo! No, gesundheit.

Hi-ho, Ivy - away!

He's getting away, DW. I can see that.

Make a left at the next corner. It's a shortcut.

A shortcut, eh? A shortcut to the cemetery maybe.

Well, it would've worked

if they hadn't built this Hamburger Hippo here.

Oh, looks like we broke down, Herb. Great. We'll camp here.

I'll set up the tepee, you bust out the chips.

The soon-to-be-supermarket-tabloid-star

surveys the wilderness for the Beast of the Year nominee -

Big Webfoot!

So they want Big Webfoot, huh?

Honey, I'm home!

The jewelry store was closed,

but I brought you some frozen yogurt.

Posey? Where are you, my love?

Oh, no. She's gone!

Then I guess she can't get mad, can she?

What am I saying? She's all I have.

Come back to me, Posey! Where are you?

Honker. Gosalyn.

Where are you?

Wait till they get a load of me.

Aah!

Slow down, DW. I can't keep up!

Bushroot's probably halfway into the country by now. Hurry up!

That is, unless you know any more shortcuts.

A truck's coming! Maybe we can get a ride.

That's not how you stop a truck.

You gotta be more assertive. Watch.

Halt!

That worked real good, DW.

You OK, city boy?

Uh, you wouldn't happen

to be heading to the country, would ya?

Is yesterday's crawdad tomorrow's fry?

Hop on in.

There's frozen aliens back there in my truck.

Aliens? Really?

Government stuff. You ain't supposed to know.

Well, maybe you should just drop us off.

I likes company.

Gets lonesomer than a mud puppy out here.

After a while, you start seein' things.

Ugh! There was a tater in the road

bigger'n Jake's cow.

Is that right? Potato, huh?

It looked like a russet, too.

A-A-A russet? Yeah.

Red taters, you can reason with 'em.

But russets, why, they's just plain mean.

Wh-Wh-Wh-What do you do if you run into a russet?

There's only one thing to do.

You gots to say "tater" backwards

while shakin' the pollen off a Lycium nycanthropus plant.

I'll keep that in mind, Duane.

Uh, what's a Lycium nycanthropus plant?

Well, how should I know?

I'm just a good old country boy.

Channel 9 is proud to present

tonight's cinema classic -

"Vampire Varmints from Venus."

You're just in time for the movie, Tank.

We interrupt tonight's cinema classic for a special news bulletin.

A vampire is loose in the countryside.

No one has seen the vampire,

but the victims can be recognized by the following symptoms.

Oh, dinner's ready, Tank.

Your favorite - instant mashed potatoes.

They have an insatiable craving for potatoes.

They appear to be in a trance-like state and do not speak...