The Neighbors

Previously on "The Neighbours"...

These are the Weavers.

This is there new house.

And these are their new neighbours.

I'm Larry Bird, leader of this community

and immediate neighbor to your west.

We're just living amidst golf cart-driving pie makers

with the names of professional athletes.

I'm sure there's an explanation for this.

We hope that you will consider staying.

We believe there's much we could learn from one another.

- This will be a good block to hit. - Yeah.

Oh. Wow.

Look at the size of this house.

Blinds are down, no car in the driveway.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Bucket full of Halloween candy and "please just take one" note.

Suckers.

Excuse me, parents?

You're setting a terrible example for your children.

You're aware of that, right?

Do you have any idea how many years your father and I have fantasized

about not having to take you trick-or-treating in an apartment building?

Big houses, open streets,

no more ringing doorbells in a hallway that smells like soup.

Kids, what's the Weavers' favorite holiday in the whole world?

- Christmas! - Christmas!

Aside from christmas!

- Easter! - Thanksgiving!

No. Halloween. You gotta say "Halloween."

Halloween! Halloween!

- Wow! - That's right!

Hey, we need a plan of attack.

What I'm thinking we should do is we get here early.

We'll put Max on one corner, we'll put Abby on the other.

We'll hit 'em right from each side.

Hurry up! Let's go, let's go, let's go! Come on!

That's secure.

Hup, hup, hup, hup! Hup, hup, hup, hup!

Kids, go in the house.

So, guys, uh, what's doin'?

Every year since we've arrived,

on the last day of your October,

tiny devils have gathered at our main gate

en masse, ready to invade.

In the past, our gate has kept them at bay.

- Should they breach it... - We will rain hellfire and fury upon them.

Rain hell upon them!

Good! Burn, little one!

What's our favorite holiday?

Halloween.

S01E05 Halloween-ween

- Hup, hup, hup... - Okay, here we go.

The last day of October, you are not being invaded.

It's a holiday. It's called Halloween.

Kids dress in scary costumes,

and they go door-to-door asking strangers for candy.

So, if I'm to believe this...this...Hallo-feen...

- Halloween. Ween. - Halloween-ween?

No, no, no, no. Just one "ween."

Really? Really?

You know what? Come inside. We'll show you guys. Come on.

Halloween-ween.

As you can see...

Halloween's kind of our jam.

I always do a buddy costume with Max,

and this year we're doing Nemo and Nemo's dad.

Come on. Watch this.

Dad?

Dad!

My mom is dead, and now I realize...

I need my dad!

I'm Nemo!

Nemo! Nemo!

I've been working on my Albert Brooks, like, all week.

- How was I? - You were fine. The boy needs work.

And Abby's Rapunzel.

Every year, Abby gets all clingy and shy on Halloween night.

Won't let go of our hands. It's wonderful.

Reminds us that we're still needed.

and then there's Amber.

Is knocking too hard for you?

Is it too hard to make a fist and bang it against a door?

Learn to knock!

She is full of piss and vinegar, this one.

Amber and I do punny, topical political costumes.

Come on, Amber, baby, tell them.

Okay, fine. Well, as you know,

last year I went as the financial collapse.

Yeah. She dressed as a dollar sign,

and then just fell down randomly.

It was mom's idea. It was basically genius.

This year I'm going as Obamacare. It's gonna be bril.

Oh.

Halloween is a real bonding experience for Amber and Debbie.

It gives them an opportunity to...

- Everyone get out. - We should go.

- Let's go. - Go, go, go.

You see, guys, you can stop preparing for war

And start buying candy. It's fun.

- It seems somewhat harmless, husband. - To you, maybe.

Every great leader in history is defined

by the threat he protects his people from.

Your Churchill had Hitler.

My father led the invasion of Uranus.

- Aw, you never laugh at those with me. - It's funny!

- (Marty) Yeah. - Please.

And I protect my people from October the 31st.

Every year, I guide them safely through the evening,

and they celebrate me for it.

It's my war, and I want to keep it.

All the other kids are planning Halloween costumes.

I have no costume. I feel so alone.

You can put together a good, easy costume last minute.

- Homeless guy's a good one. - No, my father would never approve.

It's not a political statement about the homeless.

Just rub some dirt on your face.

Oh, no. My father hates the homeless.

That's not the issue.

He just believes Halloween is dangerous.

Our dad is super into Halloween.

We do a costume together every year.

Wait. You do a costume with your dad?

- Yeah, every year Max does a costume with him. - Abby!

I'm talking to... I'm sorry.

I didn't catch your name.

Emma. I'm talking to emma here.

Hey, a bunch of us are trick-or-treating as zombies together.

Our parents drink margaritas in the street while we go door-to-door.

You go to the doors without your parents?

Of course. We're not 5.

Whoa.

My mother told me that your Halloween costume Is going to be health care-related?

If you want a partner in crime, I could go as the individual mandate.

- No, thanks. - Death panel?

Reggie, I was lying to my parents.

I hear everyone's pre-gaming Halloween at the fro-yo place,

and I need to jump-start my popularity,

So despite my better judgment,

I've decided to sex up my costume this year.

- Canadian health care. - I don't want to wear a costume!

You have to! I'm going as a slutty magician.

If I do it alone, then I'm just a slut with a rabbit.

But if you do it, it's a thing.

Whatever. 'sup, Amber?

- 'sup, hair? (snaps fingers) - What's up?

You know, "Gossip Girl" does actually have kind of a point.

I can't be too obvious about it.

I have to be stealth sexy. It's got to be a thing.

Okay, fine. Reggie, you can be my costume partner this year.

So, death panel, 'cause I feel like It's got the most upside.

Would you stop? We're going as a slutty nurse and a hot doctor.

You have 24 hours to figure it out.

What...wait, Amber, can I at least tell you my ideaI had for death panel?

'Cause it's pretty sexy.

Amber?

Okay, I'm gonna put a pin in right here.

You put a pin in my tuchus!

That's Albert Brooks.

So, Larry Bird can't know about this,

But I quietly explained to the community your interpretation of Halloween-ween.

Not interpretation, Jackie, common knowledge.

Okay. Listen, Debbie Weaver,

you are our first human friends,

and this is our first human holiday,

and we'd like to learn more about it.

- And Larry Bird? - Don't worry about Larry Bird.

I told him his hair looked limp. He'll be deep-conditioning for hours.

You know, we would love to help you out, Jackie,

but we are planning our own Halloween right now.

Is it just me,

or is anyone else schvitzing in here?

Okay, Marty, enough from you.

Skirt needs to be shorter. Neckline needs to be deeper.

Are you making a statement that without national healthcare,

people won't be able to afford full-length skirts?

Yeah. Totally.

You know what? I'm just gonna do it myself.

Oh, god. Oh, god.

This is not happening. You tell me that this is not happening.

I think she finally outgrew punny, topical halloween costumes, Marty.

I think our... Baby's gone slutty.

No! Our baby has not gone sl... hey, kids!

What's up, Max? Costume's almost finished.

Change of plans. I'm going as a zombie this year.

But you know, Max, come on,

We trick-or-treat as a family, you know?

Huh? We buddy up, huh?

And Abby is afraid to let go of our hands.

Actually...

I want to go to the doors by myself this year,

like a big girl.

Oh.

What's happening, babe, huh?

I'm falling. Honey, tell me what's happening.