Survivor's Remorse

- Missy Vaughn? - Yes.

This is Trent Vaughn, Reggie's dad.

- I'm in Atlanta. - You want to talk about this?

- No, I don't. - I'm here to hear whatever you want to say.

- The good, the bad, the ugly. - I don't want to talk about it.

By the way, the spa clothing flatters you.

Is that your A game?

I gotta find my father. I am fed up with not knowing.

- But you each have different fathers? Yes.

- But he knows who his is. - I haven't seen him in decades.

I can't tell her who her father is

because I don't even know who was in the fucking room.

I've been thinking a lot

about life, parents, choices.

I'm sorry I didn't encourage you to keep the baby.

You can't feel guilty about it.

Then why do I?

Congratulations on the successful completion

of your court-mandated therapy.

You have made great progress, Mary Charles.

Go forth into the world as a well-adjusted human being.

No further therapy is required.

Thanks, Doc.

- There is just one other thing. - Yes?

It appears my mother was raped by a bunch of guys

when she was 15 and that's how I was conceived.

I will clear my schedule.

_

Hello.

_

- Oh, they're excited to meet me, huh? - Oh, yes.

_

_

_

They say it's very nice to meet you and please come in.

Okay. This is beautiful.

_

_

Dr. Roycroft said in times like this,

a person has to lean on friends,

not family or romantic interests 'cause they're not objective.

So I did a rough head count of my friends,

people who just like me the way I am

and aren't trying to fuck me or get fucked by me,

and I came up with, uh, one.

It's nice that sex between us is not a possibility. It's very liberating.

Do you have anyone special in your life, Jimmy?

Yes, but she doesn't know it yet.

I want to go after the guys who pulled the train on Ma.

Hunt them down, figure out which one is my father,

and kill him in a slow and spectacular way.

- To accomplish what? - His death.

- At what cost? - Whatever it costs.

I would pay the moon right now

just to be able to draw in a deep breath, I swear to God.

Even if it was my last one.

Oh, for the love of God. Can you believe this?

Gum.

People are appalling. This luxury box is $25,000 a game

and even people with that kind of money leave gum on the seats.

- Know why? - Because people suck?

Because they suck.

And because they can get away with it.

And because we are who we are when no one's looking.

Except maybe six other guys.

It fills me with rage that that happened to Cassie.

And confusion because it's horrible,

but because of it you're here and you're wonderful.

And if it hadn't happened, you wouldn't be.

You think you're confused,

try swimming around in my head for eight seconds.

Not many of us are love children, fine.

But I'm a child of hate. I'm... I'm a hate child.

Hey, you realize what this means?

Yeah, my mother's a sympathetic character.

I couldn't believe it either.

She wouldn't want to lose you.

It could not have been easy to decide to take you to term.

That right there is the triumph of love over hate.

Your brother wouldn't want to lose you. I wouldn't.

Fine. What if I don't kill the guy?

Better.

I mean, for one thing, my mother might be exaggerating.

I wouldn't put it past her.

And it would be awkward if I killed him

and then found out the sex was consensual.

It may not matter for your future at this point who you came from.

It may just matter that you now feel fueled

to go into your future with purpose, which you do.

Is that what you did?

How are there no glasses?

What a franchise.

Come buy a luxury suite

where you can drink out of the bottle like a pirate.

My father

and my mother lost me when I was two.

They literally lost me.

They apparently got into a fight

outside Mike's Pastry in the North End of Boston.

And while they were fighting, each holding a pastry,

by the way, I walked off.

I walked off in the North End of Boston at two years old.

Not at a high rate of speed either.

I was two. I... I toddled off.

And where I walked over to,

there's a statue of Paul Revere.

There's like a little brick sitting area.

It's all brick because, hey, why have grass anywhere?

Anyway, I don't remember this, but it's in the police report.

I walked down into that park and... and cried and cried and cried.

Some kindhearted Samaritan eventually said,

"Hey, whose fucking kid is this?"

Because in Boston even the Samaritans have a potty mouth.

Brought me to the fire department right around the corner.

Apparently I was separated from my parents for about two hours

because at first they were so embarrassed to have lost me

that they didn't ask for help.

They were too embarrassed

to ask for help in finding their tiny

two-year-old son lost in the North End of Boston

in the late 1960s.

You know who told me that? My mother.

She admitted that. God rest her soul.

I mean, hell, to admit that, that takes guts

and a complete lack of embarrassment, I guess,

which it appears now was a isolated moment

of emotional growth on her part.

Whatever.

She sucked. He sucked.

I don't.

I try to have empathy for them, but I usually fail.

This is why we get along so well.

We're birds of a diseased feather.

They hated each other.

They split up and neither one wanted me

because apparently, according to my uncle,

my face reminded them of one another.

Wow.

Ain't that great?

You got a good face.

So I went into foster homes.

My mother got cancer. She smoked like a smoker.

Dead before I was 17. I met her four times.

My old man, he was killed by a drunk driver.

Himself.

And my uncle, he at least had some heart.

He would come visit me in the foster homes I was in

up until I was 11 when he got shot.

So all in all,

I got a shitty pedigree.

Human beings are amazing.

And human beings suck.

You're one of the amazing ones.

Don't go looking for a bunch of them that suck.

Unless I feel like I have to.

In which case, you can take my plane.

Do you know where to start looking?

I got an idea.

You want someone to go with you?

I will go.

I know.

Mama Chen, you've got some really good Chinese food here.

_

They say please enjoy.

_

_

_

_

- Got nice pictures. - Mmm.

You're in every single one of them.

I'm an only child, so every moment was commemorated.

You must be very proud of your son.

_

_

She says yes.

_

_

- He likes your hair. -

I don't have any pictures from when I was a little girl.

_

_

_

They say have more chicken.

- I am just killing it with your parents. -

How many nights are you gonna do this?

As many as it takes.

It's not healthy.

Oh, I think this is extremely healthy.

It's not the kind of parent-child relationship

I want to see from someone who is constantly

lobbying to be the father of my children.

Oh, Missy, I am sorry

that I am not living up to your standards.

And if we have that child,

I want him to know his grandfather.

Hey, can't always get what you want.

No matter what your daddy told you.

Don't be like that to me.

I texted you Trent's number for you to call him.

Yeah, and that was a waste of a kilobyte.