Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

This is a 1970 Plymouth Road Runner Superbird.

Listen to all these great words that describe it.

A 440 cubic inch six pack with three Holley two barrel carbs.

What is that?

You don't know, but it sounds fantastic.

It's got Mopar's legendary torque flight 727 automatic with a 355 rear end.

The front nose cone adds 19 inches to the overall length and the rear wing stands 5 feet tall.

Okay, so the story with this crazy thing is Plymouth built this to try and convince

Richard Petty, the famous race car driver, to race for them in 1970.

He saw the car and went, I'm in.

These cars should go over 200 miles an hour and won tons of races.

I remember as a kid seeing the Road Runner cartoon character

on the side and thinking, this is fun, this is crazy.

What are the cars based on a cartoon character?

It's happy, it's silly, listen to the horn.

That's the Road Runner.

Which is why this is the perfect car for my happy, fun,

unbelievably hilarious special guest today, Mr. Will Ferrell.

Will?

Yeah?

It's Jerry.

Of course.

Jerry is a comedy name, whereas your first name just comes to a dead stop.

Otherwise, it's a juxtaposition.

How could that guy be funny?

His name's Will.

I think that's your whole career, if I may sum it up.

You just don't act like you look.

Yeah, that's it.

You have worked the hell out of that.

You've nailed it.

Where do I pick you up?

Pick me up at the park.

The park?

What kind of park?

You'll see me.

I'll just be on the swing set.

Hi, I'm Jerry Seinfeld, and this is Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

Hey, little boy.

Hey.

You like candy?

Yeah.

I'm getting out of here.

I had a school interview with my oldest boy today.

Really?

Yeah, he's in sixth grade.

He's such a good politician.

Really?

Oh, he will talk about, I like the inclusive nature of your school.

I'm like, who is this kid?

I like what your mission statement says, which in sixth grade, I was, I wasn't saying things like that.

No.

Yeah.

I should have had like a cigar that I keep ignoring them when they say, you can't smoke in here.

Oh, I didn't hear you.

And then let 30 seconds pass.

So what kind of sports teams do you have, Mr. Ferrell, I'm going to ask you for the last time.

To put the cigar out.

This is great.

It's kind of fun, right?

Cars don't smell like this anymore.

No, they don't look like this or feel like this.

Did you know that this is my color, though, too?

I love this color blue.

You're kidding.

Let's do the scale of pretentious of these words, film, picture, movie.

Most pretentious, picture.

It's a wonderful picture.

It's a very self-consciously hip, I think, to call it a picture.

Film is close second.

Film is close second.

Movie is undeniably the least pretentious.

Yeah, you're right.

Why do people in movies, film, or pictures think they're very, very important?

I don't know, but I love it so much.

Why the full names of the actors?

Bradley Cooper.

No one's calling him Bradley in his life.

Come on.

Robert de Niro.

Robert de Niro.

Robert de Niro.

No one's calling him Robert.

He's Bob.

Right.

Right.

I don't know him.

Yeah.

Right.

He's gotta be Bob.

So what movies have you seen lately?

I don't see a lot of things.

You don't?

I gotta be honest.

Why?

I don't know.

In fact, name a movie, and I bet you I haven't seen it.

Whiplash.

No.

Fruitvale Station.

No.

Tom Hanks and the hijacked boat movie.

Captain Phillips.

Captain Phillips.

Never saw it.

Are you kidding?

I'm serious.

Gravity.

Yes.

No.

Get out.

I haven't seen it.

That's great.

I would love to be the one guy that didn't see Gravity.

I was there the night you opened the Irvine Improv.

What year would that have been?

Do you recall?

85?

I would have been still in high school.

Really?

Yeah.

I remember your joke about the moose getting picked up.

Yes, yes, yes.

And the moose is like... Right.

It was a moose that got rescued from an island.

Right.

They picked him up with a helicopter.

And you were wondering, what is he... And there's a Woody harness, and he was floating in midair.

The line was... Yeah.

This is the California that you gotta love.

This is what you dream about.

Yeah.

Yeah.

L.A.

Beaches are so beautiful.

Until it rains.

And then all the sewage dumps out there.

Can you explain?

Welcome.

You know, I've heard this.

I have a vague understanding of when it rains.

Yeah.

So L.A.

was built in such a way that the treatment facilities overflow and it flows out into the Santa Monica Bay.

Hungry?

He's going to have... Do you have... I'm going to have decaf.

And I'll have regular.

Would you like to get us anything to drink?

Oh.

Uh... Did we, uh... I think decaf coffee?

Yeah.

Decaf coffee.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

That was a test.

I like a place with a lot of items on a menu, because you know they do them all beautifully.

What do you weigh now?

I'm like 218.

Sometimes I want, I do think, for the amount that I'm working out, why am I not losing weight?

Oh.

Well, what would you like to look like?

Like, my dream would be 200.

200?

But you know what's sad?

I have to work out just to look fat.

That's the problem.

If I took my shirt off, you'd go, ooh, not so good.

That's why we have shirts.

I was a bank teller for a little while.

In real life?

In real life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would recruit people at the bank to come see my stand-up comedy, because I had a

little moment of trying stand-up, and I remember one manager saw a flyer

that I put up in the break room, and she was like, you do comedy?

I'd like to see that, and just walked out.

Translation, no way is that guy funny.

There's no way.

I had found a stand-up comedy workshop, a junior college adult ed, like,

Irvine Valley extension course, and it was a six-week class, and learn how to be a stand-up comedian.

And it was literally just a guy with a PV amp and a microphone in a junior high

classroom, and you just stand up there, and the first class were 30 people.

And by the second class, there were 15 people, and by the third class,

there were seven of us.

Tell me how you came up, did you have a cat, the cat bit, from your audition for SNL?

No, I didn't have one.

Come on!

Yeah.

Girlfriend had one?

No, I just, I just watched cats.

That's a harrowing moment.

We had to do our audition at 8H, you know, the studio where they do the show.

Right.

But he had you do it to an empty, there's no one in there.

There's no audience.

So I'm rolling around playing with cat toys to dead silence, thinking,