Roller Boogie

Hey, Phones, good morning.

Hey, what's happening, buddy?

Let's go skate, come on.

Hey, Bobby.

Look, it's Jumping Jack Flash!

- It's Conway! - Oh, no!

Hang on!

- Good morning, Ada. - Good morning, Terry.

- Is everyone up yet? - In the dining room.

Eggs soft enough, Roger?

Good morning, Lovey. Drink your juice.

Well, I thought I'd go down to the beach today and commit suicide.

That's nice, lovey. Have a good day.

Well, if anybody wants me, I'll be at the city morgue.

Kids.

Let's go.

You and your fads, Terry. Honestly, roller skating?

Next thing, you'll have me surfing, or some such horrendous thing.

You'd rather not go?

Not after I bought my skate bag at Gucci's.

Okay, thank you. Have a nice day. Stay off the bike path.

- How you doing, Phones? - Okay.

- You need these? - No.

Have a nice day. We'll see you later, okay?

- Listen. This is great! This is bad! - Hey, Phones. What's happening, man?

You're looking fantastic for the Roller Boogie contest.

Bobby, why don't you come and skate with us, okay?

- Baby, I gotta work. - Come on, please? Just for a little while.

- Skate with us. - Please?

All right. I'll be back. Take care of the place.

Come on, man. Do it!

Come on, Bobby!

- You're next. - I don't think so.

- Thank you. - You're welcome. Bye-bye.

Your money or your life, twinkle boots.

Yeah, how'd you like your neck permanent waved?

He's turning blue, homeboy. He's turning blue!

Sorry, Bobby.

The guy's working out.

Here's yours.

You guys know that girl?

You mean, "Don't touch me, you brute?"

Yeah, I just saw her pull in in a million-dollar car...

over at the parking lot.

Probably some rink skater from Beverly Hills.

No, man. No rinks in Beverly Hills, just minks.

Come on, forget it, Bobby. She is way out of your league, man.

My Franklin, your Theresa.

Our two geniuses.

So we thought about London or the Paris Conservatory...

but we accepted the Juilliard scholarship...

because we could just hop over, stay in the Hamptons--

- And shopping in Manhattan. - Lillian, please, I'm talking.

Then, we could see Theresa, be back here in no time at all.

Actually, I think New York would be good for her.

A more mature attitude toward her music and all that, you know.

Sitting on the lap of creativity.

I'm sorry, he put his hands on...

I mean, it was an accident. I'm sorry.

- Franklin, take those off! - In the house.

Franklin, I swear!

You have more hands than a poker game!

Going slumming at the beach again?

Your mother thinks you're going out with me.

Franklin, I'm not in the mood for octopus rally!

Terry, I need you. Your body is driving me crazy.

Franklin, Barbie dolls drive you crazy.

- You're oversexed. - Come on, Terry.

Franklin, stop it!

Terry, give me back that towel.

Terry, I'm sorry. Please, come on.

My mother's inside.

So what? It's not that big a thing, anyway.

Terry, come on. Come back!

Bye.

Terry, come back!

Mother.

- And he is the best we got. - Excuse me.

- You guys, look here. - Excuse me.

It's the golden girls of Beverly Hills. How's old Be Hills these days?

- Let me help you. - All right, a telephone, man!

Give me Alaska.

Let me get your bag for you, okay? Here you go.

How you doing? My name is Gordo, remember me?

How you doing?

Hope you have a good time skating.

Excuse me, Miss Buns.

Come on, will you, Bobby.

Come on, look at her car, man. Look at her car, then look at yourself.

That's three things that don't match:

this car, you, and that chick. I'm telling you, man.

I got $5 says she'll skate with me tonight.

You do? $5? You're on, sucker.

- Here's mine. - What is this?

That's my IOU. I'm good for it.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, are you crazy?

What was that?

That was Complete Control Conway, the one-man destruction derby.

- Lovely. I'm fine, thank you. - You sure are.

- You can let go now. - I know that.

- Would you do it? - Not until you say you'll skate with me.

Hey, I saved your life.

You're the best skater on the boardwalk, true?

I don't know. I do okay.

I need someone to teach me how to dance on skates.

I'll pay you $10 an hour.

Here's $5 in advance. I'm gonna freshen up.

You ain't skating with her yet.

Say, look, you!

- Yes? - Something about this isn't right.

Hey, wait up!

Sorry, ladies.

Okay, everybody, it's time to play.

It is couples-only time. Couples only.

Come on, this is a good song. It's almost over.

What's your name, anyway? Did you see me in that commercial?

I'll bet you can't skate, anyway.

Ready?

This is all screwed up.

I'm supposed to ask you if you wanna skate.

- Okay, ask. - Do you wanna skate or something?

Sure, I wanna skate or something.

- Let's go. - Okay.

What are you, a prejudiced person? Let's go out there and dance a little.

You don't want to dance with me?

You win, sucker. There.

Don't get scared. I'm gonna show you something.

Just relax and stay loose.

All right, it's time to get on down with a new sound. Here we go.

I think it's your wheel.

$54.

Bobby, you clown. You know that music hurts my poor old ears.

- Terry Barkley, Jammer Delany. - Hi.

Hello, love.

- My God, but you sure are pretty. - Thank you.

- Anything she needs, I'm good for it. - Okay.

Did you know Jam was eight-time National Champion?

Fastest man through the pack on skates.

That was until they took my knee cap apart in six places.

Boy, I'm telling you, skating's changed a lot since I was a top jammer.

I'm sure it has.

- You got a wrench? - I think so.

Good.

- Here we go. - All right, thanks a lot, Jammer.

You're welcome, Bobby.

- Enjoy yourself now, love. - I shall. Thank you.

Wrong one.

Top jammer?

You know, Roller Derby.

Sure, my parents watch it every night on TV.

Okay.

This one's just as nice as the other one.

Hey, Terry, wait up.

Wait up!

Thanks for skating with me, kid.

We still have 45 minutes left. And my name ain't "Kid," it's Bobby.

- Bobby James. - Keep the change, Bobby James.

Terry, will there be anything else?

- No thanks, Ada. My folks come home yet? - Child, didn't they tell you?

They went to the Palm Springs house for the weekend.

I forgot.

Listen, I can stay over if you don't want to be alone.

No, it's okay. You go on home. I'll be fine, thank you.

All right, dear.

Last time my mama went to Palm Springs, she came home with a new papa.

- Now she's in Mexico, dear thing. - Doing what, pray tell?

Getting rid of my new papa. Then it's back to the Springs for another try.

My parents don't have to tell me where they're going.

Why should I tell them where I'm going, right?

Where are you going?

Crazy! Anybody wanna come?

She's off to the beach again.

Her choice of friends leaves something to be desired.

She picked you, didn't she?

Franklin, you nerd! You ruined my nails!

Okay, put another 20 pounds on that, boy.

Another 20 pounds, Master Hoppy?

Why, sure enough, sir! Coming right on up here.

Okay, now.

I got it!

Okay.

I think he's got it!

How long have we had this chest pain, my boy?

- Get it off, you pinheads! - Watch out.

What the hell do you think you're doing, man?

These guys.

We're going to the pier later. You wanna come?

I gotta practice.

Come on, man. There's a new waitress at Casa Cucaracha.

- She wants your body anytime, day or night. - She said she loved Olympic skaters.

- She did not. - Did, too.

I got one hour of workout, two hours practice.

- You know my routine. - All right, give it a break, man.

- Let's go find some women. - I'll see you later.

- Come on! - Don't be a drag!

Get off my case! My time is my own, you get it?

No Olympic judge is gonna vote for a turkey boardwalk skater.

That waitress...

is she a real fox?