black-ish

My son is quite the character.

He chose to go directly into the workforce,

but what he wound up doing, you wouldn't call it a career.

Yeah! What's up, guys? Klay Thompson!

All right!

And with all his various jobs,

he's had varying degrees of success.

Hey!

Stop!

Through it all, Junior's been making his way,

learning the lessons that hopefully lead

to what he'll do for the rest of his life.

Hey, guys.

I figured out what I am gonna do for the rest of my life.

- Okay. - Ohh!

I'm getting into...

comedy!

Or maybe he hasn't learned anything.

06x09 - University of Dre

Comedy?

Amazing!

- Yup. - Mm!

And I'm gonna produce a show for unknown comics.

- Mm! - Unknown?

Amazing!

Yeah. And we're gonna be using non-traditional venues,

like empty swimming pools, karate dojos, parking lots.

And the best part is, anyone can come.

- Ohh. - You hear that, Bow?

- Huh? - No quality control.

- Hmm. - Amazing!

I'm putting on a show tomorrow night,

and I'd love if you guys could come.

- Well... Yes. Yes. - Of course! Yes!

We would do anything to support you.

Thank you, guys.

But make sure that you get there early,

because I hear tickets are gonna sell out.

They're not gonna sell out. They're free. Right?

Mwah. So proud of you, sweetie.

- Thanks, Mom. - So proud of you, son!

What is up with that kid?

"Parking lot comedy"?

It's like he's just pulling words out of a hat!

This is Migos all over again.

There's no future in this.

It ain't real.

None of it's been real.

But, Dre, we have to be patient with him.

Yeah, I know.

But I would've figured it out by now.

Do you know what I could have done with us as parents?

At least been a high-ranking deacon in a mega-church.

They make bank, Bow.

I mean, private planes, Chardonnay, shrimp.

Junior ain't got no shrimp. Can I get an amen?

Are you done?!

Uh...

- Yeah. I think I am. - Okay.

We said we would have his back, all right?

So, we are gonna go to the comedy show.

- Why? - And then,

we are gonna sneak out when he's not looking.

and on the way home,

I'm-a get you some Chardonnay and some shrimps.

Can you also call me...

"Reverend Johnson"?

Will you finally call me "Dr. Johnson"?

You know I just can't give you that.

What?

Look at God.

Emily's slumber party got canceled.

She's saying her house is getting fumigated,

but we all know her dad cheated on her mom.

Perfect timing, Mr. Copeland, because I did not want to go.

What do you mean you didn't want to go?

Diane, sleepovers are the most magical time in a kid's life.

Um, what's magical

about getting four hours of garbage sleep

on a stranger's floor?

Okay.

Sleepovers are so much more than that.

I loved them as a kid.

Oh. I have an idea.

Why don't you have the sleepover at our house?

School is where you plant the seeds of friendship.

Sleepovers...

Sleepovers are where those friendships blossom.

Your future best friends are gonna be made

while you're watching scary movies

and braiding each other's hair

and telling each other your deepest secrets.

Okay.

Since it'll make you happy, I'll do it.

But only if you stop doing that weird dance.

Sorry.

- Okay. - So sorry.

Sleepover!

Mom!

All right. American Express is relaunching the Green Card.

Oh, the O.G.!

Okay, you can just say "original."

- Copy that. - All right?

And if we get their account,

they want to focus on advertising to millennials.

Now, I say we pitch them a campaign

that showcases their Green Card as a milestone for growing up.

- Mm. - Mm-hmm.

Like, when you go from crashing on your buddy's couch

to having your own place.

Ah. Like we all have definitely done.

Or when you take that step

from having a job to having a career.

With the Green Card, you can start living your life...

express.

- Wow. - Ooh!

Outstanding, Dre.

That is the best idea you've had all year.

And, uh... I'm not just saying that

'cause I accidentally called you "Charlie" yesterday.

Oh, I'm not offended.

Mistaken identity is how I got into the Soho House.

I've got a long history with American Express.

When I bought my fish fry truck, American Express was there.

Mm.

When I couldn't pay my fish guy, American Express was there.

When the fish oil got too hot and I hit a pothole

and my truck burst into flames, guess who was there.

- American Express. - Nnh-nnh-nnh. Maybe.

I blacked out due to smoke inhalation.

Listen, this American Express account

is very important for Stevens & Lido...

and also to me personally,

because I recently started gambling,

and it turns out, I'm terrible at it.

So let's celebrate.

Martinis at the club... on me. Come on.

Hey, hey. I can't tonight, all right?

I'm being forced to support my son's comedy show.

It's his latest career left turn.

I was so much more focused at his age.

It's true, Dre.

The day that you stopped slinging rocks on the street corner

and got into the world of advertising

was the day that probably saved your life.

I never sold drugs.

Is that what "slinging rocks" meant?

I thought... I thought "rocks" were basketballs, no?

Okay, look, I don't have high expectations for tonight.

Until Junior does something impressive,

I'm just gonna go along for the ride...

you know, sip on a low-alcoholic Mexican beer

and sit back and wonder

why all those comics hate their parents.

After all, how could Junior's show

be any more lame than he'd been?

Wow.

Wow.

Junior totally transformed this butcher shop.

Oh, my God! Look at the lights, Dre!

Look at the people!

I know.

Is our son impressive?

Oh, Bow.

You will always be

that simple, simple girl from the commune, won't you?

Those are twinkle lights, all right?

He strung up 1999 around the room.

All right, I don't get any of this.

This... is not for me.

Not for you?

Baby, this is you.

What are you talking about?

Oh, I remember a young boy with child-bearing hips

and dreams big enough to fill an empty warehouse.

You came back from Howard

with the idea you could bring go-go music from D.C. to L.A.

You couldn't.

It was the worst thing to happen to this city in 1992.

And, yeah,

I know what else happened that year.

Dre, you've got to see it.

- See what? - You will always be

that simple, simple boy from Compton, Dre.

- Come on. - Really?

Junior is following in your footsteps.

- Mm-hmm. - He got into Howard.

- Okay. - He worked at Stevens & Lido.

And you both hate small talk from baristas.

And how is your day going?

- Venti. - Venti.

He's turning into you.

On purpose.

Was Bow right?

Did my son want to be like me?

Was my son just trying to re-create his father's glory,

like Jesus or something?

Nice sweater.

- Thank you. - Oh, thank you.

Great Andres think alike, right?