Dirty Sexy Money

My father worked as a lawyer for the richest family in new york

Until his plane went down in long island sound.

He left me his biggest client,

The darlings--tripp,the empire builder...

So you knew about the affair between letitia and my father?

Of course.

Letitia,the sophisticated socialite,patrick,the principled politician...

I don't want to run for senate.

I think that you should run.

What do you want to do?

Alivorcee...

******okay?

Brian,the man of god...

I lied to my wife and daughters last night.

I told them that you were an orphan.

Does he speak english?

No,uh,just swedish.

And jeremy and juliet,the well-behaved twins.

Don't lie to me,jeremy,especially about natalie kimpton.

I want you.

If juliet found out...

She won't find out.

My father was gathering information on billionaire simon elder.

If i were trying to figure out who had killed my father,

That's the guy i'd start with.

You have to eat good food.

I'm putting the carrots in your lunch.

Oh,dad. Yuck!

I mean,they taste like toenails.

How do you know what toenails taste like? That not right.

Why is patrick darling on tv?

Because he is running for the united states senate.

So you're willing to go on record that you have never committed adultery?

Ever since i got married,i've done nothing,lara,

But be faithful to my wife

And try to set a fine moral example for my children and all the people of new york.

So patrick's really running?

Tripp got what he wanted.

He usually does.

You know,i think he'll make a great senator.

Okay,i think that's enough tv.

Why don't you go get your book report and finish getting ready for school?

Okay.

Are you sure going to the police about simon elder is a safe thing to do?

Don't you think you might need a little more evidence

Before accusing the richest man in the world of being a murderer?

Look,lisa,the evidence i have is the evidence i have.

What do you want me to do,just wait and see?

I can't.

You can ask tripp for help.

You agreed to represent the family.

It's the least he can do.

Yes,but can i trust him?

Maybe.

So being tripp darling's trusted advisor doesn't have a whole lot to do with trust,does it?

Until i find out who killed my dad,no.

Morning,clark.

Good morning,mr.george.

So what,tripp thinks if he sends the rolls,

I'll take the ride to work?

Hop in,nicky.

What,did you just wake up?

Oh,god,no.

I haven't slept a wink.

What's the matter?

I'm tormented by the thought that simon elder could've had something to do with that plane ing down.

We have to do something.

Well,i'm seeing the police later today.

The police?

I don't think the police will be much help with simon elder.

A man in that kind of position,the police can't really--

I mean,i think he's-- he's probably pretty much untouchable.

I could have someone look into it.

No,that's all right. Thanks.

Your dad had a private investigator that we used a couple of times--

Tripp,here's what i think we should do--

I think we should let the police handle the matter,

Let them decide whether or not there's reason for suspicion.

That's what i think we should do.

Clark,right here,please.

You still think someone in our family could've been responsible?

I didn't say that.

Personally,i think the dossier your dad complied on simon elder was pretty damning.

Well,and i'm bringing it into the police later today.

Yeah-- i just have to be able to do it my way.

Please.

Okay.

Look,i'm just gonna run home from here.

I'll see you later this morning. Okay?

You take care of yourself. Okay?

Daisy,i need you to go on the internet and find out all the information you can on simon elder.

I want interviews,profiles,corporate reports--

Anything you can find.

No problem.

And i also need you to make one copy of every piecef paper in this dossier.

I have to bring it to the police later.

No problem.

And i don't want to be bothered by anyone for at least the next hour.

Problem!

Rebecca colfax,darling family publicist.

Well,i'm charmed all over again.

Rebecca colfax is here for you.

Yeah,i see. Thanks,daisy.

What's up?

This.

The call came into my office at 2:00 a.m.for tripp.

Why is tripp getting calls at your office?

Guess they didn't have his home number.

What a surprise. Listen up.

Hey,mr.darling,just thought you might wanto know

There's a pretty raunchy sex tape gonna hit the web at midnight thursday

If you don't pay me one million american.

Mm-hmm,you tall poppy,that's right,one bloody mil.

Turn it down,rache!

Wouldn't be too good for your little patty's senate campaign,now would it?

Wait to hear from me.

Oh,i got you by the natties now,mate.

Uh,so wait,have you told tripp about this yet?

- not yet. - good.don't.

Did you contact the police?

I'm contacting you.

Until this thing becomes a matter of public record,

Which it won't if you do your job,it's a legal problem.

It's not an after-school spin project.

Besides,patrick's campaign launches tomorrow night,

And between the good press and the bad prs,i'm kinda up to my knees in freaks.

Yeah.

Well,let's just think for a second.

Do we even know that this tape actually exists?

Think about it.

Patrick darling.

I'll talk to him.

Patrick.

I saw your little performance on "lara cumberland.

Come on,son.

You can't spend your whole campaign fielding questions about...

What do you call it?

I mean,it's gonna come out,this sex thing.

I-i tried to talk policy,dad.

She--she pushed.

Yeah,somebody's gonna shove.

What do you think i should do?

I'm sure you have a detailed plan.

Patrick...

You can do great things if we can win this election,great things.

You have to get your house in order.

You have to let this person go.

Right.

Thanks.

Juliet darling,is it true you got banned from the argyle for starting a fire?

That was an accident.

Isn't this really about natalie kimpton?

You hate each other so much,you can't even stay in the same hotel?

Is that what she said?

Oh,no.

She said you're "a small-minded fashion victim," end quote.

Do you have a comment to that?

I have never wanted anything but good things for natalie.

I wish her success and happiness.

Peace out. Bring the boys home.

Hey... Jeremy.

You know what would be so random?

Me going to patrick's bash.

No.

You and jules at the same party can never happen,ever.

If she even suspects we're seeing each other...

But,jeremy...

There's a diamond necklace there that i would kill for.

And people get to take whatever they want,right?

I'll buy you the necklace.

No!

I don't want you to buy it. I want it for free.

Paying for stuff sucks.

Natalie...

No.

You got my sister thrown out of the hotel.

I did not.

I saw you talking to the manager.

It was about my smoothies.

They were putting in way too much banana.

You don't seem to mind when i put in too much banana.

So i hate to ask you this,but you've never...

Filmed yourself performing a sexual act,ever,with ellen or--or anyone?

No.

Not with carmelita?

Nick,what part of "no" do you not understand?

Just be completely honest with me,pat.

I am being completely honest with you.

I never made any sex tape.

I mean,quite frankly,i don't find them to be very romantic.

Okay.

Uh,well,do you think it's possible that

Somebody could've filmed you without your knowledge for--

Nick,did anyone ever say that it was actually me on the tape?

Did someone ever-- did they say that?

No.

We just assumed that--

Well,there it is,nick.

You assume,you make an ass out of you and me.

That one's for free.