Young Sheldon

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Hello. I'm Sheldon Cooper, and this is

Why Sheldon Cooper Should Go to College.

I firmly believe that I'm ready

for this next step in my academic life.

I guess our baby's going to college.

So I don't want to get married. It's nothing personal.

After everything that I've done for you and your family.

You give my grandson a job so I'm supposed to marry you?

Well, you can forget I even asked.

Oh, no.

I screwed up.

You're fired.

Here's for firing my grandson.

Jackass!

I never understood why kids didn't like

being sent to the principal's office.

I thought it was great.

Sheldon, you are a remarkable young man.

Thanks, and you're a remarkable old man.

Sheldon.

So you sure he's got all the credits he needs?

Yeah, between his coursework and his AP tests,

he's met all of his academic requirements.

He even managed to get a good grade in P.E.

I earned extra credit snitching on kids

who were smoking behind the equipment shed.

I don't have to buy cigarettes for a year.

So he's really good to graduate?

He sure is. I got to tell ya,

usually when kids leave school after two years,

it's not for college.

It's for prison or pregnancy.

Well, between Georgie and Missy, we may hit the trifecta.

George!

Well, I'm not rooting for it.

It's just a thing that could happen.

One other bit of business.

Since you're graduating early,

and you're top of the class,

that makes you our valedictorian.

Way to go, buddy!

I'm so proud of you, baby.

You seem surprised.

Well, it's quite an accomplishment.

Being top of the class in this school?

I don't think so.

We're really gonna miss you.

I imagine my leaving will be hard for you.

Oh, yeah, being best friends

with a little kid really boosted my game with the ladies.

Makes sense. I'm a conversation starter.

Just think. You'll have this table all to yourself.

Actually, I joined the jazz band.

Those guys have their own table in the cafeteria.

Oh.

They're pretty cool.

The drummer's even got a goatee.

Well, I'm glad I knew you before you became a heroin addict.

Where are my safety goggles?

I don't have no orange today.

No, I have a lab later.

Just use the room goggles like everyone else.

And risk eyebrow lice?

They don't just like head hair, Tam.

They must be in my locker.

Don't eat my fluffernutter!

I won't.

Mmm.

"Don't eat my fluffernutter."

Hello.

Thank you for seeing me.

You might not be so happy I did by the time we're done.

All right, let me start by saying

that I owe you an apology.

You can finish with an apology, too.

I'm sorry we had a fight. I'm...

I'm really sorry I lost my temper,

and I'm very sorry that I took it out on Georgie.

That wasn't great.

But I want you to know that I'm trying to change.

'Cause that's what people do-- they change.

I mean it. You know, I'm tired of being a cranky old bastard.

It's tiring for everybody else, too.

Would you please?

Sorry. Go ahead.

I'm admitting I was wrong, and that's not something I do.

What do you want from me?

One more chance.

I don't know.

Oh, come on.

I went to three stores to find these purple flowers.

They are pretty.

They're not as pretty as you.

: Oh, God.

Safety pins, safety scissors,

no safety goggles.

Did you happen to see a pair of safety goggles?

Sheldon, we're in the middle of a test.

Sorry.

I can't give you the answer,

but what you have is not even close.

Out!

These things happen.

My mother had me when she was young.

Sorry to interrupt. I can't find my safety goggles.

Well, they're not here.

I have to find them.

Nothing's more important than protection!

Dad, you need to take me home.

Why? What's the matter?

I don't have my safety goggles. Let's go.

Sheldon, I'm busy.

You're just watching TV.

I'm reviewing game tape.

So you know how it ends. I'll meet you at the car.

Sheldon, I'm not driving you home.

I got practice in 20 minutes.

Then call Mom and tell her to bring them to me.

She's working, too.

But I need my goggles!

Then use the ones in class.

And I don't want to hear about eyebrow lice.

The ones in class are too big for me.

What if they fall off and something happens to my eyes?

If I go blind, I'll need a Seeing Eye dog,

and I'm scared of dogs.

Hey!

Is this how you plan on acting when you get to college?

No.

Good, 'cause you're gonna need

to handle stuff like this on your own.

I can handle it.

I hope so.

I ended up using the class goggles that day

and did not get eyebrow lice.

But eight months later,

I did contract a mild case of pink eye.

Were the two events related? This scientist says yes.

Do you think I can make it from one end

of the college campus to the other

in under ten minutes, including a bathroom break?

I don't know. How important is the bathroom break?

Very. The class schedules are designed

for fully-grown bladders, and mine is child-sized.

Then don't put your classes so close together.

Well, it's either this or I move my labs to Tuesday afternoons.

Is that bad?

Yes. That's when Professor Proton is on.

Well, we'll tape it, and you can watch it later.

But what if I have a lot of homework and can't get to it

until the next day and one of the kids

in my class spoils the episode for me?

Sheldon, has anyone ever spoiled Professor Proton for you?

No.

Has anyone even talked to you about Professor Proton?

Do you count?

No.

Then no.

Thanks again for giving me another shot.

Oh, my pleasure.

And I got something else for you.

Wow. Thank you, but why?

Well, I'm trying to get better at forgiving people.

Well, I'm glad to hear you say that,

'cause I'm the one who egged your store last night.

That was you?

Well, me and Meemaw.

Oh.

It's okay.

I forgive you.

Cool. Thanks again for the money.

Mm, forgiving people sucks.

Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive,

and bless the hands that prepared it.

And thank you

for Georgie getting his job back. Amen.

Amen.

That was nice of Dale.

I know. He even forgave me for egging his store.

You went egging without me?

Georgie Cooper!

Dale already forgave me, and God has to.

You can't get mad.

Ha. Burn.

Oh. Hold on. Hold on.

Your chair, milady.

"Milady"?

Where did that come from?

I don't know.

My brain.

Can I get y'all started with some drinks?

Yeah. Uh, margaritas?

Mm-hmm.

Split a pitcher?

Mm, no, I think I'm okay.

More of a beer night?

No, not really.

I'm gonna take a little break.

I'll just stick with water.