Sex/Life

There was a time in my life when I felt free.

And the world was full of possibilities.

Especially him.

Hey, boyfriend.

Hey.

- Wait, what are you doing? - Do you want me to stop?

Or should I keep going?

Fu...

Yes.

Those were the days.

People say you don't know them when you're having them, but I knew.

Oh, you're killing me.

You know that?

Mm-hm.

Time of your life, baby?

Yes, please.

Jesus.

You are killing me.

You know that?

Yeah.

And now, these are the days.

And everything is so different.

Mommy, you said you were feeding her.

I am feeding her.

- No, you're sleeping. - Okay.

You know what? I fell asleep for, like, a second.

- But what do you need? - I want to show you something.

You wanna show me something?

What do you wanna show me?

Come on, Mommy.

All right, I'm coming.

Hudson?

What...?

What have you got there, honey?

Look, mariposa.

Oh, my gosh.

Baby.

You can't keep him like that, sweetheart. You have to let him go.

It's a girl.

Okay. All right. But still.

And she's mine. I love her.

I know, sweetheart. But she can't breathe in there.

And she's gonna die if you don't let her out.

Come here. Come with me.

Let's go sit down.

Come here, angel.

All right.

Look at that baby.

Okay, now.

I have an idea.

Let's see which way she goes, okay?

Mmm.

South, probably. Yeah?

Thousands of miles for the winter.

Wow.

There it is!

Go wave to her.

Bye, butterfly!

Munchkins! Where are my babies?

Where's my babies? Get over here, bud.

Come on. Where are they? Come here, bud.

My word, you are so gigantic and cute.

Oh, I can barely hold you up!

Missed you, buddy.

Oh, there she is. There's my beautiful girl.

Yeah. Hey, sweetie.

Look at you.

- Hey. - Hey!

I was gonna get dressed at some point, I swear. I just...

Ah, it's no biggie.

All right. I'm gonna hurry up and mow the lawn before the game starts.

Oh, yeah.

- You good? - Yup.

- All good. - Huddie!

My husband is as gorgeous inside as out.

Wait for me.

I've never caught him looking at another woman.

Hell, I've never even caught him in a lie.

So, what's the problem, right?

Oh, God, Billie, things have been so crazy at work.

You have no idea.

- Really? - Yeah.

I mean, we're talking like, it's, like, post-merger madness, you know?

Everybody's just angling for a position

and they're all trying to show off for the new boss.

And she's great, though, you know? She's...

She wants to expand internationally.

She wants to do all those things I've wanted to do,

just on a... I don't know, like a much, much larger scale.

Wow.

Yeah.

You know, people are swarming, but she sees me, I can feel it.

What?

Nothing.

I just miss you.

Excuse me.

Okay, and that's her.

My new boss.

Come on. Have you listened to a word I said?

- Right. - Francesca, hey!

How are you?

The problem is Cooper Connelly is married to me.

And before I met him,

I'd been contorted into at least 73% of the positions in the Kama Sutra.

As should we all.

There were rich guys.

Poor guys.

Tattooed guys.

Just-flying-through guys.

And every other kind of bad boy deliciousness you can imagine.

We'll just talk tomorrow and set a time, then we'll discuss.

All right, great. Thanks. We'll see you then. Bye.

She loves me.

Who doesn't?

So why go marry someone so straight-laced?

Honestly, because of them.

I didn't call you back for a reason!

I see a lot of women.

Open the goddamn door, Billie!

Holy...

You never appreciated anything that I did.

Hello?

My nerves were so fucking shot by the time I met Cooper,

my heart was riding on fumes.

And the stability and sanity he offered

was a soothing balm to my spent, scorched soul.

I'll never forget the first time he brought me to this house.

It's actually an Algonquin word, "Connecticut."

"Land of the long tidal river."

I always loved that.

There she is.

- What do you think? Yeah? - Wow.

It's like he'd been waiting for me. For us.

Yep! Ha!

Can't have you tracking snow in the house, come on, now.

Oh, my God!

He cooked me this incredible meal.

I mean, come on.

How could you not fall in love with this guy?

- May I? - Yes.

It's nice to finally meet you.

I've heard so much about the both of you. I'm a big fan of your daughter's. Clearly.

- Us too. - Most days, anyway.

Mom.

- She's joking. - Or I'm not.

Well, you'll see.

Cooper is the kind of guy

who actually enjoys dinner with your parents.

This is North Station. North Station.

Ma'am, ma'am. Why don't you sit right here?

He stands on the train, no matter how many seats are empty.

Yeah?

- Have a great day. - And somehow

manages to be the most handsome and humble man in any room.

Gotta say,

never thought I'd leave Morgan Stanley to come be one of the good guys.

But Cooper sucked me in with his "change the world" hoo-ha.

And the dental plan's not that bad either.

- But we have had a very big year. - We have.

High risk, high reward, so huzzah to you.

- Merry fucking Christmas, dude. - Thanks, buddy. Appreciate you.

He is my all-time favorite person.

And I want us to live a hundred years and die at the exact same moment.

Push!

Oh, there he is!

Hey, buddy!

Hi!

Hi!

I know, I know. Okay, go see Mommy. Go see Mommy.

Hey, bud!

Hey!

Oh, my God.

And I want our souls

to find each other on the other side as soon as possible,

so we can fall in love and make more babies,

and do it all over again.

I just also want him to fuck my brains out.

Is that so much to ask?

Hey.

Didn't you have the, um...? No, no, no! Stop him!

I'm sorry. Didn't you have the...? The girls night in tonight?

Yeah, but you know...

Um...

- I can be late. - Oh.

- Okay. - Oh. Okay.

Okay. Mm-hm.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, it's so good. That feels so good.

So good.

Are you...? Are you okay?

Yes.

Yeah, no, don't stop. Don't stop. Keep going.

- Okay. - Keep going.

Okay.

Shit.

I'm sorry, babe.

- I'm just so tired. - Yeah.

Okay. Hold on.

- Hold on. - Okay.