Night Nurse

- Car smash? - Yeah.

Cement truck hit one of those baby Austins.

Fractured skull, I guess.

You know, a man's a fool to ride in those miniature cars.

Be yourself. This is the guy that drove the truck.

Aww.

- Boy? - Little girl.

Ah. Ahem. Uh-huh.

Gee, I hope my baby's a boy.

- I'll do my best, Archie. - Attagirl, Mumsy.

Why can't my son have a screen around his bed?

- It's against the rules. - But this man has one.

- Yes. He's dying. - Oh.

Oh, nuts.

What makes you think you want to be a nurse?

Why, nursing people has always seemed sort of a second nature with me.

This is your only recommendation?

Who is this gentleman? What's his business?

- He's a grocer. - A grocer?

I'm afraid he knows more about groceries than about hospitals.

What does he mean "the time you were at high school"?

Didn't you graduate?

No, I had to leave when my mother died in the third year.

Probationary nurse must be a high school graduate.

I can make it up easy. I can go to night school.

You'll have neither the time nor the strength with work here.

- Oh, I'm sure I would... - Besides, it wouldn't be allowed.

But I'm sufficiently well educated. There must be some way.

- Not here. - Oh, I'm sure I can make good if...

My decision is final.

- Oh, I'm sorry. - You are in a hurry, aren't you?

- Did I catch the name? - Hart. Lora Hart.

Hart. That's a good name for a nurse.

Sturdy instrument, the heart.

- Hello, Miss Dillon. - Oh, good afternoon, doctor.

Now, what can we do for this young lady?

My dear, why didn't you mention the doctor?

Of course, doctor, anything you say.

Well, now, suppose you telephone the principal of Miss Hart's high school...

...and if everything is satisfactory, we'll waive the rest.

Oh, thank you, doctor.

I hope you realize what you're letting yourself in for.

Nothing can be too hard.

Now, you take care of her, will you, Miss Dillon?

I've gotta be going.

This lady will take care of you.

By the way, Dillon, you're doing something wonderful with the hospital.

Everything runs like a clock.

Thank you, doctor.

I'm sorry you didn't mention Dr. Bell in the beginning.

You'll find life here pleasant enough.

But there's one thing you must understand thoroughly:

Rules mean something.

- I understand. - You'll be told about them later.

You'll have one hour to yourself each afternoon...

...and your evenings after 7.

But you're to be in bed and lights out at 10.

There are no exceptions.

This decision is final.

- I, ahem, see. - Ahem.

You have one night out a week until 12...

...and quite a severe penalty if you're out later.

Miss Maloney, this is Miss Hart.

How do you do?

Take Miss Hart to the wardrobe and help her select some uniforms.

She hopes to be a probationer.

- Miss Maloney will show you. - Thank you.

Miss Maloney, you have no one sleeping in your room.

Miss Hart may go with you.

- Yes, ma'am. - Yes, Miss Dillon.

Yes, Miss Dillon.

Hype, the new probationer.

- Heads or tails? - Tails.

Heads. Life is going on for you in the same old way.

Say, I was afraid the hospital would burn down before I could get into it.

Now I have to watch myself with matches.

Well, if you hate it so, why do you stay?

It's the only job I know where they pay you to learn.

Oh, I'm sure in your heart you love it.

- Says you. - Yeah, says me in a big way, sister.

Oh. Goodness. Isn't there a smaller one?

If you don't like it, buy your own.

- I can't. I haven't any money. - Broke?

In a big way, sister.

Any advice?

- What were you doing with the big shot? - Who?

Dr. Bell. Say, are you kidding me?

- No, why? - You don't know Bell?

He's the chief of staff. One of the biggest surgeons in America.

Really?

Why, he just stopped me in the hall and offered to help me.

Hmm.

For a beginner, you're not doing so bad.

We'll see if we can find one that fits.

Here, try that.

- Oh, that's much better. - You better slip off your dress.

Oh, it's okay.

Oh, I suppose so.

I guess everybody around here has seen more than I've got.

Oh, don't be embarrassed. You can't show me a thing.

I just came from the delivery room.

What are you doing here, baby-frightener?

I come on behalf of this big institution to welcome the new sister to our midst.

You'll find we're just one big, happy family here.

Beat it, Eagan.

- You're not sore, are you? - I'm not laughing, veterinary.

How'd you like to go back to your sick horses?

Sometimes I don't like you, Maloney.

If only I could make that permanent.

What do you say, newcomer?

The score is 2-0, favor of the lady.

Hmm.

Take my tip and keep away from interns.

They're like cancer. The disease is known, but not the cure.

Really?

There's only one guy that can do a nurse any good, a patient with dough.

Catch one with a fever and a low pulse, make him think you saved his life...

- ...and you'll be getting somewhere. - Will I?

- And doctors are no good either. - Oh, no?

What for? They never marry nurses.

And the trouble with interns is they do.

All a wife means to an intern is someone to sit in his office when he starts practice...

...and play nurse the rest of her life without pay.

- Oh, I shouldn't like that. - Thing to do is to land an appendicitis case.

- They've all got dough. - Oh.

Gee, you look like an ad for Sloan's Liniment.

I don't care. As long as it means I'm not gonna be a probe anymore.

Oh, dear.

Don't cry.

Yes, it's a shame.

Yes, it's a shame. There, there.

Gee, it's half past 1. I was afraid old hatchet-face would see us.

You sap. She'll be in here to see if we're in bed.

Oh. We better get in with all our clothes on.

No, no. Slip your dress off, put it on the end of the bed here.

If she sees that, it's okay.

Gee, if she switches on the lights and sees my makeup, I'm sunk.

- Well, turn your face to the wall. - Oh, don't get funny.

My makeup goes around the back of my neck.

Hurry up, kid.

If we're caught this time, it means a month of no nights off.

Oh, some of that goofy Eagan's comedy.

Jump in bed. I bet hatchet-face heard you.

Oh, I can't. Not with that.

Psst. Get in.

Come in.

Miss Hart, is it possible you have a man in here?

You worm. I hope you get caught in the nurses' quarters.

- You know what you'll get for that. - Boo!

Here he is again. Let him have it, and make it a bull's-eye.

Come in.

Who threw that slipper?

What, ma'am?

What, Miss Dillon?

What, Miss Dillon?

- Did you throw that slipper? - I don't know what you're talking about.

- Well, Hart? - Well, you see, l...

Take two weeks on the night shift at the emergency clinic.

I thought so. You've both just come in.

- We had to walk home. - This isn't your first offense, Miss Maloney.

You'll take four weeks on the same night shift.

- Thank you. - And take two more for impertinence.

See what you get for yelling?

Say, suppose you found a skeleton in your bed.

If I could dodge that night shift, I'd live with one.

Oh, quit your trembling, kid. It can't walk around.

Dillon's face took all the pep out of it.

Well, at least he can't clear his throat.

Just a scalp wound.

- Oh, doctor. - Hold tight to my hand when it hurts.

You're certainly charitable with that hand of yours.

Was he hit anywhere else?

Sorry, but that's all.

Just put a bandage on him.

Give him a shot of anti-tetanus.

- What's that for? - Prevents lockjaw.

Lockjaw?

Ask Miss Maloney about it. She's been fighting it off all her life.

Grit your teeth, prisoner.

Just two more smart cracks and Dr. Mayo is through.

Shall I take him to the station house?

Oh, I don't think we'd better.

Let's keep him here tonight.

Yeah, prison ward.

Come on.

Come on.

- Hey, hey. - The tougher, the softer.

Better get us a lift, lunkhead, he's fainted.

Huh?

Oh, all right, Florence Nightingale.

Could a guy bum some bandages and iodine in here?

- Are you hurt? - No. It's a friend of mine.

He got a little cut on his hand.

- Come in, I'll see what I can do. - Oh, maybe I better wait here.

- Come in. - Ouch!

You're the one that's hurt.

All right, I'll come in.

Let's see your hand.

You'll have to get up earlier than most bootleggers to fool me.

- Huh? How do you get that way? - We get many like you in here.