Knuckles

I know what you're thinking.

What type of maniac wakes up at dawn to punch boulders?

I'll tell you who.

My good pal, Knuckles the echidna.

It all began on the Mushroom Planet,

where old Knucks got tricked into helping

the very evil and very filthy

Doctor Mustache escape.

He came to Earth in search of a magic emerald

and picked a fight with moi,

which went very badly for him, by the way.

Hey, wait a minute! This is the wrong footage!

Why are we showing this?

and teamed up to defeat Robotnik's giant robot

and recovered the Master Emerald,

hence saving the universe.

Hooray! And you're welcome.

And then, Knuckles, Tails, and I became friends

and roommates!

Now, with all the hero stuff out of the way,

Knuckles' only mission is to relax and enjoy Earth,

which might be harder than it sounds.

Ha! A new record!

House Wachowski is under attack.

Pitiful.

Ha!

- Whoa! What's going on? - What kinda job is this, Mrs. Wachowski?

Get it off me!

Did you call us up

to fix your house so you could hunt us for sport?

No, no, no, no, no! I could see why it might look like that,

but one of our kids gets a little...

Your kid did this?

He's a... really big kid.

With a huge imagination! Thinks he's a warrior.

Always training, questing.

As well as stalking, hunting,

and occasionally terrorizing.

You know how kids are at that age.

You'll be hearing from our lawyers.

I am so sorry.

Let's pack up.

What?

Victory is mine!

And never has it tasted so sweet.

One day, I hope to visit

this Cool Ranch of Doritos

and bask in all of its splendor!

Chip?

I'm good.

Boy. Poor guys.

That's the fourth crew this month.

But, I have to say,

Knuckles is in incredible shape.

Do you think he's more cardio or weight focused?

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

He looks fantastic.

Do you think the house is ever gonna get fixed?

The living room is getting pretty cold at night

with that giant hole in the wall.

Boys.

We need to talk about our little red barbarian friend.

I could use some backup.

Knuckles is just having a little trouble

adjusting to his new home. It wasn't easy for me

to understand this planet at first, either.

When did you start getting so wise?

I read a lot of cereal boxes.

Also, I had a family that was patient enough

to let me figure things out,

so we have to do the same with Knuckles.

Let me talk to him when the time is right.

Alright, Sonic.

But, in the meantime, do you mind asking him

to get our dog off the roof?

Concentrate, Wolf.

An attack can come from anywhere at any time.

You must have steely focus.

Steelier.

Steelier... Steelier...

Steelier!

You know what?

I think now is a good time for that talk.

Yeah, I think so, too.

Come on, Ozzy! Yeah.

Good boy!

Hey, big guy. Mind if I join ya?

Man, this place is beautiful?

- No. - What? Really?

You don't think Green Hills is a beautiful place to live?

- No. - Not even a little?

- No. - Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Really look around

and tell me you don't think this is--

- No. - Okay, fine!

We'll circle back to this later.

It's time we had a talk.

You know, hedgehog to echidna.

Listen, moving to a new world was tough for me at first, too.

But trust me. This planet is special.

It's your home now.

An Echidna warrior has no home.

I only remain on Earth because I made a vow to you

and the fox. One I intend to keep.

Hey, I respect that. But we won.

Robotnik's gone, and there's no new battle to fight.

No new quests to embark on.

Which means, for the first time,

you can take a break from being a warrior.

And Earth is the perfect place to do that.

So, relax. Get comfortable.

Make yourself at home here.

Perhaps you are right, hedgehog.

Allow me to meditate on your words of wisdom.

Perfect.

My work here is done. I'm gonna do...

fun things.

Yes.

I shall make myself at home.

Right.

Boys! Breakfast is ready!

Good morning, Pretzel Woman.

Morning, Knuckles.

Is that an Iron Throne at our breakfast table?

Good morning!

What is that?

It is merely the seat that designates my role

as family champion. If you wish to claim it,

you must simply defeat me

in a ritual battle of trial by combat.

What do you mean, "trial by combat"?

Come, fox. I will show you.

I heeded the hedgehog's advice

and made myself at home!

Wow! Love what you've done with the place, Knucks.

It's very, um, Conan chic.

Nope! This is not happening.

We are not turning our living room

into some kind of gladiator fighting pit.

Warrior fighting pit.

Whatever! And wh-what is Ozzy doing here?

Ozzy has bravely volunteered for the first match

by challenging his greatest enemy.

Enemy? What enemy?

Is that our mailman?!

Please!

I just wanna go home.

I am so sorry.

That's it! Get down right now.

You are grounded!

I have no idea what that means.

Well, I definitely do.

It means no battling enemies.

No leaving your room on quests.

And most of all, no warrior-ing.

How dare you.

In the name of Great Chief Pachacamac,

- I swear you will regret the day you-- - Excuse me?!

You will regret...

the day you...

Knuckles, word of advice.

Do not mess with Maddie

when she's this mad.

Very well, Pretzel Woman.

I will accept my grounding... with honor.

Great. I'm gonna be late for work.

Maddie?

We may have another issue.

It looks like Knuckles built part of his throne out of...

our car.

Our car...

Gosh. Okay, um,

Tom is out of town...

Maybe Wade will pick me up.

Okay.

Hey, this is Wade!

I can't answer the phone right now.

I'm training for the biggest tournament of my adult life.

Wish me luck! After the beep. Beep!

Alright, Wade.

You got this.

You will bowl a strike right now

because you are an excellent bowler.

But, more importantly, you are a good person.

You help old ladies cross the street.

You leave positive reviews at restaurants,

even when the service is just meh.

You are pretty, yet you are approachable.

But, most of all,

you are an excellent...

You're gonna choke, loser!

Susie, I have begged you a thousand times,

please do not insult me in the middle of my backswing.

Maybe I wouldn't insult you

if you weren't such a freaking loser!

Well, maybe I wouldn't be such a freaking loser

if you weren't insulting me!

Wade, get it together.

The Renegades need you.

Roll one strike, and we win.