Parenthood

I can take this, right?

Sure.

My doctor says,

"You can't have a garlic knot. " I mean...

- Really? - From mama Lucia's?

Your--no, not right now, thank you.

- Whoo. Is she new? - You've met Jenny before.

Oh, is she Gordon's assistant? Hey, where's Gordon?

Look, if the doctor's telling you not to have garlic knots,

Don't have the garlic knots.

Okay, I won't. -

All right, just take care of yourself, would you?

What do you want to talk about?

There's this investment property

That I want you to see. - Uh-huh.

And in this climate, it'd be an incredible opportunity.

Before I do anything with it,

I want to get your opinion.

My opinion? Why?

Because you have real estate/business acumen, son.

- Acumen? - Yeah.

We'd have to drive there, stay overnight.

Come on, dad. I don't have time to go stay overnight somewhere.

Where is this place?

It'd be like father and son time, you know.

We could get a chance to talk, Adam.

We don't have enough of that.

I'll call Kristina.

I'll just make sure it's clear with her, okay?

That's all I wanted to hear.

- All right. - All right.

You're not gonna be sorry. All right.

You want some garlic knots?

Why don't I take those from you?

No. I'll have as many garlic knots as I want.

Your real estate acumen?

He used the word "Acumen"?

- Yup. - That's worrisome.

Yeah, I was wondering if he wanted me

To go in on a piece of, I don't know,

Vacation real estate with him or something.

Then he tried to sell it to me as father and son time.

Yikes.

Hey, speaking of which, I brought something over

I want you to look at.

Yeah, what's that?

That's great. What about it?

- That's great? - Yeah.

You don't think it's weird to receive an invitation

To your son's birthday party in the mail?

You're lucky you got invited at all.

Hey, whose side are you on?

There are no sides here.

You just got to pay attention to your kid.

Yeah, listen, I've been spending

A lot of time with Jabbar, okay?

He knows me pretty well now, and he's smart,

So if I don't plan this party,

He's gonna sense that.

Great chair.

- You like this? - Yeah, high quality.

Look, if you want to be there,

Just, you know, give Jasmine a call

And tell her you want to be a part of it.

She's just sending a lot of mixed messages.

It's, like, half the time she wants me to be the dad,

And then the other half, she's keeping me on the outside.

I just wish she would pick a path and stick to it.

Well, then you should go.

You should call Jasmine and say you want in.

Except you shouldn't use those words.

I don't get it.

Is there a sexual joke in there?

Amber, I'm coming in.

Mom, can you just give me a minute?

I'm showering. - Yes. Can you give me a minute?

I'm just brushing my teeth.

Hey, do you have the toothpaste in there?

- No, no, no. - oh, my God!

Hey, Mrs. Bra-- it's just me.

No, you're dead.

Get out! No, not now.

Later.

We're screwed.

Ah! You have got to be kidding me.

Excuse me, but who the hell is that running out of my house?

Amber! Jeez.

- Dad, it's Amber's boy- - ex-boyfriend from Fresno.

Don't--don't worry about it. I can't get any privacy.

Why are you being such a tattletale?

Wait-- Damien, the demon seed?

Why is everybody yelling at me?

We got to set some boundaries, Amber.

Calm down, grandpa.

- I'm not yelling at ya. - Yes, you are.

- It's okay. - It's my house!

All right, I'll take care of it, dad.

I know you're mad at me.

What do you mean? I'm not mad at you.

You're mad at me because of Mr. Cyr.

Because of dating your teacher.

Please, it has nothing to do with that.

And I know you're still mad, and I'm sorry.

It's fine. I don't care.

I'm sorry I went out with your teacher.

It's fine.

We left Fresno, you know, so you could have a better life.

And I pulled you away from a lot of things,

But he was one of 'em.

And then, to have him here in the shower,

I mean, Amber, come on.

Don't screw everything up for yourself

Just because you're mad at me.

This doesn't have anything to do with you.

Not everything I do is about you.

I love him, and he loves me, okay?

Oh, God.

What?

Why do you insist on making every mistake I made?

You know, every time you talk about your life being a mistake,

All I hear is that my whole existence is a mistake

And you... - Oh, no. Oh, no, no.

I don't want to talk to you right now.

Honey, I don't want to leave you so upset.

Please leave me alone, okay?

Please? I don't want to talk to you.

Okay, okay, okay.

I'm really sorry. It's fine, mom!

Please, just leave me alone. - Okay.

I'll come back.

Don't take any rubber bands off, please!

Wait, wait, whoa. Why?

Well, because I've got 'em all counted up.

18 blue,

53 reds,

118 brown. There's too many brown.

And I don't want the brown rubber bands to take over.

I want my ball. I want my ball! - Okay.

All right, you know what?

Let's go upstairs.

We're gonna finish getting ready,

And we will talk more about this in the morning.

- I want my ball. - No. No.

Hey, hey. - I want my ball!

Sweetheart, the ball is staying right here, okay?

- Please, I want my ball. - No.

We will not touch it. I promise you.

We're not gonna change it. Okay?

I promise.

Now get upstairs.

You know who I am?

I'm sorry. Your Amber's grandfather,

The Vietnam vet.

Well, Damien, gee, I'm just sure you're a nice guy,

And everything, but you left your sock in my house,

But you took my granddaughter's innocence.

Here's your sock.

I'm gonna give you a 20,

And I want you to fill up your tank,

And I want you to clear out of here.

And I'm asking you nicely.

What about Amber?

Damien,

if this van is within a five-mile radius of my house, I'll know it.

'cause I can smell it.

And then you and I are gonna have a visit,

And I'm gonna spend some quiet time with you.

Do I make myself clear?

Sir, I just want to let you know

That I consider myself a student of philosophy.

Live and let live. I mean no harm to anyone.

I am an irrational hardass with rage issues.

Don't piss me off.

- Come in, come in. - Thanks.

What's happening?

- Oh, um... - Good to see you.

Just--yeah.

I was gonna make some tea. Do you want some?

- Sure. - Chamomile or orange pekoe

Or green? - Whatever. Perfect.

- Whatever? Okay. - Hi, Max.

Max, buddy, aunt Julia just said hi to you.

Oh, did you know that pill bugs and sow bugs

Are often mistakenly thought of as insects,

But they're actually classified in the group called isopods...

He got a new book on roly-polies today.

Hey, buddy, honey, aunt Julia's probably not in the--

Honey. So Adam is not here.

He's at the office. Um...

That's fine. I actually wanted to talk to you.

What's going on?

This is gonna sound stupid.

- Okay. - It has to do with this ball.

Sydney's obsessed with it,

And basically I just wanted to ask you

If you could tell me about, you know, some of the first signs

That you saw with Max.

Um, why don't you have a seat?

- Okay. - And I will be right back.

I'm just gonna try to rally him to get upstairs.