Robot Chicken

_

It's alive!

You can count on me sir.

If you have any mice, I'll clear them out.

Uh, all right.

You're all clear!

Now I shall teach you to defeat a boggart,

which takes the form of your deepest, darkest fear.

Neville, why don't you go first?

Oh, curious. It turned into you. I wonder why.

- I have a small penis! - That's not ... that's not true!

Fine! I'll prove it. Zip!

Okay. That's enough. Why don't we try someone else?

- Weasley? - Oh, uh ... uh, I don't want to.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Ah. A spider. That's much more typical.

Ron has a small penis!

- What? No, I do not. - Oh, yes, you do.

- It's like, ooh... - Okay. You know what?

Why don't we try a girl this time? Hermione.

No, no, no, no. Please, don't make me.

What?

I'm what Hermione thinks a penis looks like.

She's terrified of me.

What would I do with it?

Shake it? Stir it?

We really need to start a health class or something.

No need to ask him which water tastes best.

Evian ... the official water of the CIA.

Actually, I really loved "Hamilton."

It was no "Cats," but sure.

- Give me your money! - Aah!

Billy Blanks says you got to squat and punch.

Squat and punch and work it. Work it.

Squat. Punch!

- Ow! - Punch!

- I'm destroyed. - Whoa! You know karate!

Oh! That was Tae Bo!

Billy Blanks taught me in '97.

I just panicked, and it ... it came back to me!

- Your money or your life! - I've got this.

Squat and kick. Work it.

- Work it. - Squat and kick!

Oh. Ow!

- Kick! - Are you checking your pulse?

Yeah, well, Billy was big on cooling down.

- Surprise! - Steve, do something!

I don't know any more moves!

- Maybe I can help you! - Oh, shit.

- Billy Blanks! - Billy Blanks!

Let's work this out together.

Billy AND STEVE: Squat and kick

and squat and punch and work it!

- Kick! - And work it!

Punch!

- Thanks for your help, Billy! - It is the Tae Bo way.

Let us give you a ride home.

- Ah, no need. I live in this alley. - Oh.

Give me the baker's dozen.

Yeah! Glaze me! Glaze me!

Here comes the money shot! Oh, yeah!

You're ruining baking.

Free cocaine!

- Oh, being a lab mouse rules! - Ugh.

How come they get drugs and I get a fuckin' ear on my back?

Let me switch cages!

Let's modify their environment.

Hey, let's have sex.

Keep it down! I can hear you!

- I want to switch cages. - Now let's pierce the ear.

Wait. Why the fuck would you ...

Oh, God! What the fuck is this?!

Eh, cool earring, bro! You should come party in our cage!

Oh. On ... on ... on second thought, this ... this ...

this cage is kind of nice.

I-I can work with this. No big deal at all.

Son, Old Yeller has got rabies.

He's got to be put down.

I ... I'll do it.

Well done, Son. I know that was hard.

That was awesome!

Yeah!

Yeah.

Now I'm Old Yeller!

Bark, bark, bark! Woof, woof, woof!

Grawr-awr-awr!

Whuh-oh. Looks like our son has rabies.

- Give me that gun. - I'll do it.

Good evening.

After losing my legs mountain climbing,

I used my background in biotechnology

to create fully functioning bionic legs.

- Oh, wow, robo-legs. - Wow, robo-legs!

That's right. With this remote,

I can control where I walk and how fast I walk.

Dad! This sucks! I want to leave.

Billy, I told you to go wait in the car.

You don't control me! I control you!

Billy. Billy, put ... Billy.

Put it down, Billy.

Aah! Aaaaaaah!

Aah! Billy. Put it down, Billy.

My son, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, watch out for the wall.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

- Is that Mall Madness? - Yeah.

Let's shop until we drop!

The classic board game is back

and all-new for your generation.

- Is this what malls are like? - I don't know.