Axe Cop

I'm so glad we had two children, Axey and Flutey.

They're the best brothers.

Those two will be inseparable forever.

When I grow up, I'm going to kill bad guys

all day and all night.

Well, big brother, I also want to kill bad guys

but only during the day.

At night, I want to go home to a family.

There! I shot you because you're bad!

That's boring. This is how to kill bad guys.

- Hyah! - Yeah, you wish!

You'll never be good crime fighters.

Wrong. We will be the best crime fighters

ever!

That'll be $15.

No, it won't. Bad guys don't pay.

One day, at the scene of a car auction,

a guy bought the perfect taxi.

That was the day he became

a taxi driver!

So he hired his brother.

I will drop you folks off!

Axe Cop 01x11 - Taxi Cop

Whoa!

Gas prices are through the roof.

How much money did you make today, Axey?

- I need some good news. - Nothing.

Nothing?! You didn't pick up any customers?

Of course I picked up customers. But they all ran off without paying.

All right, that's it. I'm calling the cops.

I have a better idea.

Hi. We want to kill bad guys.

Well, then you've come to the right place.

Uh, just sign up here.

I'll give you your uniforms

and you'll be cops. Just like that!

Really? That's it? There's no training?

Nope, just sign and suit on up.

Well, I think that's something even I can handle.

- He's funny. - Whoo!

Must have shot a million bad guys out there today.

What's up, Anita? Miss me?

Oh, look at this. What do we got here?

There are our two newest cops.

They signed the form and everything.

There's something about the little fat one. I can't quite...

- put my finger on it. - Wait a second.

Little Ray? Is that you?

Hey! Axey, Flutey!

So what've you been doing all these years

while I've been out shooting bad guys with my gun?

- Driving a cab. - Seriously?

I bet you don't get to kill a lot of bad guys doing that.

Eh, not that you were ever good at that anyway.

Not to worry. I'm gonna show you the ropes,

because I know all there is to know about being a cop.

Bang bang, bang bang!

Ha ha!

Whoo-hoo! What did I tell you, man?

- Isn't this awesome? - No!

- You're just shooting them. - Yeah, that's all us cops do.

We shoot bad guys with our guns.

Here, give it a try.

No. That's boring.

Flutey, let's go!

Hey hey! Hey! Hey!

Get back here! That's my cop car!

Oh ho ho ho. Wow.

Axey, what are you doing?

If we're not gonna use guns, how are we gonna kill bad guys?

With that.

The perfect axe.

I'm going to be...

Axe Cop!

I could be, uh, you know, I don't know.

Uh, Flute Cop? Yeah, Flute Cop.

You know, whatever. I'll change it later.

Let's get to choppin'.

Oh whoa! Look what I just did!

- All right! - No no no, no. Please please.

It contains all of my top-secret documents.

That's odd.

I could have sworn you had a head.

I chopped it off. You're welcome.

My name is Uni-Man. I'm from Uni-Planet.

I'm the smartest man in the universe.

Oh really? Well, what brings you to our little ol' planet?

Uni-Planet was taken over by the Evil Fatsozon

and it was no longer safe to live there.

Yeah well, I gotta split.

Thanks for saving my life and my important documents.

They are top-secret designs for a dinosaur.

I am giving him rockets for arms.

Mmm, they should be machine guns.

- Even better! - Can he fly?

- He will now. - And if you try to ride him,

he should have spikes that only stab you if you're a bad guy.

- Brilliant! - Ooh ooh! And at the end of a long day,

- he should have a family to go home to. - Let's quit while we're ahead.

If you ever need my help, give me a call. Here's my card.

Hey, I need your daily report

- on my desk pronto! - The thing is

I have... nothing to report.

What?! You ain't shot nobody today?

Son, you are a disappointment.

Some head-chopping maniac has been getting to the bad guys

before I can shoot 'em.