Raining Stones

Come on.

Tommy, I've got one of the buggers.

Come on!

Fucking get one!

I've got one, Tom.

Come back!

Bloody job this!

Stay quiet, it might come down.

There's one here on its own.

This one on its own.

Go round the back of him.

Go round the back of him slowly.

We've not come all this way for fuck all.

Go round the back of him slowly.

Oops...

Get it, lad! Get it.

I've got the bastard!

You've got it! Get it!

She'll get it!

Oh, we've got to get hold of it!

I've got the bastard!

Hold it! Hold it!

I've got it!

What do I do with it?

Get hold of the scruff! Hold it tight! Get hold of it!

Help me, will yer!

Hold it!

Come here!

Take it easy, will you, lad, I've got no chance here...

Ah! There's shit all over... look at this!

Watch that, it's scalding hot, son...

I am knackered...

It just wants one good belt on the back of the head, then it'll be stone dead.

Good hard... short, sharp shock.

Come on, let's give it a go.

Just wack it across the napper.

Good heavy blow.

But where, though?

The back of the head, across the shoulders, know what I mean?

Put plenty of force into it, son.

Go on, go on, go on, go on!

Just whack it.

Hit it on the head.

Look, look!

There's one thing...

What are you waiting for? Hit it.

Listen, we could always sell it as it is.

To that butcher, you're joking. He'd rob us blind.

Give it a belt, will you, Bob.

Oh, you know, you're so good at giving the orders out, you do it.

Come on, when you kill it, I'll skin it.

I'll peel that bleedin' fleece off like peeling an orange.

Now just give it a belt.

Come on son, you belt it.

Get on this side. Get on this side.

Oh, there's me fucking tea!

Jesus... hold the bleedin' thing!

Tommy, I fucking got it!

I've got it.

Cor blimey, its' got loads of bottle, ain't it.

What do you get off of sheep, anyway?

Foot and mouth disease unless you wear a condom.

Ah, very clever, very droll. Yeah.

I'm serious here, what do you get off it?

Mutton, you dopey bleeder. What do you think you get off it?

Yeah, but what do you mean? Show it me.

Get four legs, don't you.

Couple of shoulders, all them chops, feel the ribs there, all of them.

How many chops?

Fucking big bag full.

Oh, serious. Come on, can't you be serious for a minute?

Well count them, feel them. Ten, eleven, twelve...

Hang on, hang on, one...

two...

three, four...

Don't be worrying, you'll be getting your share. Come on.

Jesus Christ! Can you smell that?

I thought it was you. It's farted!

Come on, let's get it down there.

Hold onto it and I'll get one good shot at its napper.

Have you got it?

Let's get it down then. Go on, get hold of it. Smack it.

Go on!

How many times have you been in that position with a sheep?

Never mind. Come on, hit it.

Fucking hell!

I should have done this job on me own. You're bleedin' hopeless.

And watch me. Don't hit me.

Just give it. Just give it one.

Ready?

Go on.

That's it. Go on!

Fuck it. Let's take it down the butchers.

Get hold of the back end.

You shit house. You shit house...

Come on, you twat, look up, look up.

Just give him a honk on the horn.

Give over, with everybody's eyes round here?

Here, I'll tell you what.

You get out, get in the butcher's shop, I'll drive it round the back.

Go.

Be bloody quick, then.

It'll feed the whole bleedin' town, I' telling you. Have a look at that.

Hello, Bob.

All right...

Ah! You're pulling my pisser, aren't you?

What do you mean?

What I mean? That's mutton, that.

Nobody wants mutton these days, they want lamb.

Well it hasn't gone out of fashion.

They're still eating it, aren't they?

Yeah, of course. I'm not saying that.

You're talking fourteen quid there.

How much? -Fourteen quid, if that.

I thought you said...

Hang on... last one I sold I got thirty-odd pound for her.

Not sheep, lad.

On our kid's life! Thirty-odd pound.

No.

This is another bollock I've dropped now.

Is there nothing at all you can do for us?

Well have a look at it. It's massive.

Well, let's have a look at it then, Bob.

Oh, Jesus!

Told you it was a big bastard, isn't it?

Big bastard! It fucking stinks!

That's because it's been pissing and shitting all up the sides of my van.

Oh, stop moaning!

Fucking hell! Can't do owt with that.

We can't take it back to the moors, can we?

Listen... listen are you going to fucking kill it for us, and chop it up or what?

Well, get it in back of shop, then.

Fucking hell! Watch you don't pull its fucking head off.

I'd like to pull his head off, I'm telling you.

I'd like to pull yours off!

Do you know you, you've never stopped moaning from this morning.

Come here...

Now listen, Bob.

I'll do this if you put that fireplace in for us.

Fair enough, that sounds okay. Yeah.

It's all plumbed in and everything.

The bloke did it. I paid him. Done a runner.

Well, you can't trust anyone, that's fair enough lad, yeah, go on.

That's all right, yeah?

Yeah, okay, I'll do it. Come on.

Come on lad, get its head head over this bucket.

Okay Bob, get hold of its ears.

Pull its ears back. Go on.

Head back, keep hold of him.

Just cut it.

Dirty bastard!

Jesus, he's cut its fucking throat!

Before I go to Communion...

I will listen carefully to the priest at Mass.

I will tell God that if I am sorry...

if I have spoilt my love for Him...

by choosing something that He does not want.

I have nothing to eat or drink for one hour...

it is not a very long time and it is to...

it is to remind me of the great Son of God who will come.

Before I go to Communion...

I will listen carefully to the priest at Mass.

I will tell God...

I want to grow up like Jesus...

and I want to meet Him in Communion.

Very good. Very good.

Thank you, Coleen. Thank you.

Now you see...

the Church, well we call it Mother Church...

has decided that when a child reaches the age of seven...

the age of reason...

it's time for the parents to prepare them for their first Holy Communion.

So the parents must teach that child about the loving family of God...

and that their first Communion marks the beginning of a beautiful friendship with Christ.

I'll take the vault, lad.

Okay, I'll get 'the room'.

Jesus! You've started early, haven't you?

Hello, girls. This could be your lucky day.

Have a look in this basket.

Best mutton. Look at that. Fresh as a daisy.

Two pound fifty the leg.

What do you mean 'no'? A beautiful piece of meat, that.

No? You sure?

You don't eat meat? -All right, love.

Hiya, mate.

Look at this bit of flavour, eh...

look at this, real English mutton.

Look at that...

I'm sorry, mate. I'm sorry, I'm skint.

Skint? I know exactly how you feel, pal...

Can I do you a favour, lads?

Fair enough...

Hello folks, here you are, have a look at this.

Real English mutton. Look at that.

Beautiful leg of mutton.

Just done it before I came in here.

Hiya, Walt!

Hiya Bob, you all right?

Have a look at that for a leg of mutton.

Beautiful leg of mutton, that.