InSecurity

I can't believe I found this.

He is so wasted.

N'udu made fun of me for spilling gravy on myself

at the Christmas party.

He said I was a lightweight.

Now that's a man who didn't pace himself.

Ah, a good lunchtime laugh, recharge those batteries.

Ha ha! What are we laughing at?

Oh, no, you guys.

Oh.

I suppose you think this is funny.

Come on, we've all had our nights.

This was not a night.

This was taken after three months in Ganzi captivity.

I was in the desert, starving.

N'udu, we didn't know.

My hands were up to protect myself from the burning sun scorching my skin.

- I-- I should go. - I am so sorry.

I hope you understand if I destroy this picture!

Ooo, that was close.

- I was so wasted at that party. - We both were.

That's why we should never drink with guys from surveilence.

I'll cancel Friday.

InSecurity S02E06 Spies of a Certain Age

It's a big briefing package marked "Urgent, Alex Cranston,"

kind of important, hence the "urgent".

Thank you.

Sometimes I wonder what the guys in shipping do all day.

Play ping pong.

We're supposed to be safeguarding the country.

It's shipping.

Yeah, plus I got them a table.

I get my packages a lot faster.

I still haven't gotten the backgrounder on the cyber attacks.

You will. The Ministry's sending over some

cyber terror specialist to work with you.

What's wrong with Derek?

It's one of your great qualities,

you're nice to the geeks. Hey, Derek.

Ah, no. No, no. We got it.

- So who's this specialist? - Noah something.

Sorry to stick you with another mouth breather

but you gotta figure out who's been hacking the databases

over at Foreign Affairs.

Well, I look forward to meeting him.

That makes one of us. Enjoy the clammy handshake.

We're investigating a guy who bought copper pipe,

not taking on the Republican Guard.

He also bought timers and wires. I made a list.

Burt, relax. It's a road trip.

We'll do some work, but we'll have fun, too.

What's this?

Our suspect lives in wine country.

There's a new release of Zinfandels I want to try.

I don't think you're taking this seriously.

We get lots of calls like this.

Nine times out of ten, it's nothing.

And we get a free road trip.

So one time out of ten it is something.

Here.

Open these and pour them in my cup holder.

These are the IP addresses I've traced

and here are the ST logs from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Great. I'll get on this.

Looking forward to working together.

- Closely, I hope. - Love the T-shirt, Noah.

Oh, thanks. It's a bearded guy.

Does anyone know where Alex Cranston's office is?

- It's over there. - Hey, man, I'll bring it to her.

I should go introduce myself. See you guys.

I wonder if he'll friend me.

I'm hot for nerds.

Alex Cranston?

You look new, so let me give you a tip.

A little hustle won't hurt your street cred.

I'm Noah, Noah Johansen,

Senior Information Securities Analyst,

National Defence. We're working together.

Right.

Nice to meet you. You aren't what I expected.

And what did you expect?

- Um, well-- - Glasses, sweat pants.

- Comic books. - I just sold my comics.

Paid for my eco trip to the Galapagos.

There were boobies everywhere.

Well, we've all had some crazy trips.

- I meant the marine bird. - Me too. Big birder.

We should meet again, after you've had a chance

to read through all of that.

- That would be good. - Great.

We might have a lead on the hacker.

That's good.

Alfred Chow, current whereabouts unknown.

Noah made the ID matching some code Chow wrote

with patterns in the hacker's decryption program.

Noah did all that?

Yep. And he changed our wireless password

so the caf workers can't steal our Internet.

Cute, huh?

- Yeah. You know, young. - Still hot.

He has a toque hanging out of his back pocket.

Yeah, it's like his butt is playing Capture the Flag with me.

Ah, nice.

Are you sure we shouldn't get separate rooms?

Why pay for two when we can pocket the per diem

and spend it on a nice steak dinner?

We're meeting our contact tomorrow morning at seven.

- Maybe we should-- - Don't worry.

We'll be up nice and early.

But tonight we eat like kings.

Kings who share a motel room.

With vibrating beds.

Okay.

I'm gotta take a quick shower and then we hit the town.

Hey, hey.

Ah!

Whoa, somebody sure had a cold.

Chow's already hacked one ministry.

If we don't stop him, there might be more.

I'll put the word out to the hacktivist underground,

- See if it stirs anything up. - Good work.

Cool. I should get going. Got an ultimate game.

Of course you do.

Are you ageist or something?

- Hardly. - Prove it.

Join me for a drink later.

I've got work to do.

Oh, well, I have work too, but one drink's not gonna kill us.

Good night, Noah.

Good night, Mrs. Cranston.

I could kick your pants in a game of quarters.

Kick my pants?

Is that what you yell at the youngsters from your porch?

Should I bring you fake I.D. or are you good?

And over here, we've completely remodelled

your breakfast nook.

Oh, wow, it's beautiful.

Aaah!

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Just, uh...

showering s-- s-- some more.

Okay.

Wait till you see the basement.

Oh, damn, I missed the reveal of the craft room.

Hello?

- You chickened out, didn't you? - No, I haven't.

I'll be there in 15.

And be ready, 'cause this old dog's got plenty of new tricks.

Uh, drinking tricks. Also, I'm not old.

Okay. I'll see ya then.

Hey, Alex, a few of us are doin' beer and ping pong

in the mail room. You in?

Actually, I'm kinda tired. I think I might just head home.

- Big day tomorrow. - Hm, always so disciplined.

Well, if you change your mind, you know where we are.

But, uh, don't tell Derek, hm?

Okay. Bye.

You almost done in there?

Yeah, I'm comin'.

Aah!

Tabarnak!

Oh. Okay.

Uh...

Oh. Um.

Okay, I'm just gonna cover up this area a little bit, first.

I can't get up.

Oh, please tell me I just grabbed a loofah.

Claude, Claude.

Hey, good morning.

- How are you feeling? - Good, never better.

- Good. - Good.

Ah, about last night...

I have seen a lot of man naked in my days, so...

- I... didn't mean it like that. - I don't want to talk about this.

And I don't want you to ever talk about this ever!

Right. Okay. I'm going to go shower,

and thanks to you, I know the tub is slippery.

Burt.

- Yep. - I think I need help getting dressed.

- Right. - Okay.

- Aw. - Good morning.

Hey, I made by signature chocolate trial mix.

- Everyone loves it. - Thanks.

Just put a pile of it on my desk.

- Oh. Someone hungover? - I felt fine.

Whoa. If you need something to make you feel better,

May I suggest another dose of what we did last night.

I'm okay. Thanks.

You left so early this morning. You didn't get a chance to meet my roommate.

Oh. I found your sock.

- In my kitchen. - I'll get it later.

- Thanks. - No problem, babe.

Let's just play cool, okay?

When I was a young boy,

I remember having to go to the bathroom.

Don't.

And it wasn't long after I was potty trained,

so my little bum was way too small for the seat.

Please don't.