Superstore

Because when we reach out to others,

we reach in to our hearts.

Today, let's show the world

how much Zephra cares.

I'm not doing any of that stuff.

We have to build houses?

I'm not comfortable around tools or kids.

- Pass. - Okay, guys, relax.

You don't have to do any of the things

you just saw in the video.

All you have to do today

is hand out these nifty care packages

to the Holloway House Women's Shelter

and ask our customers to round up

to the nearest dollar for charity.

- Easy. - Wow.

Cloud 9 never did any of this stuff,

but I feel like Zephra cares.

Well, let's not just blindly believe the T-shirts.

Although Zephra is a fine company

which I am not criticizing today

as was made clear to me in the car.

But guys, Amy set his whole thing up.

- Please. - I mean, she chose the charity,

she got local businesses to donate goods.

So this stuff is donated? Zephra didn't even pay for it?

It's a PR stunt.

Okay, I'm confused.

Is Zephra good or bad?

Glenn, come on. It's not that easy.

They did give us that Lyft discount though.

Today I got to ride in a Kia Soul.

Guys, believe the hype.

Well, I read Zephra does blood diamonds.

What do you mean by "does?"

Uh, I don't know. I didn't click on it.

I did hear that Zephra gives a lot of money

to struggling communities.

We all heard that, Justine.

They said it, like, 12 times in the video.

"Those communities might not be struggling

if Zephra paid taxes."

It's a text from Jonah.

Butt text.

Buses from the shelter will be arriving all day,

so Glenn, you're gonna be running care packages

from the warehouse,

or doing that waddle thing you do, whatever works.

Female hips, so...

Garrett, you're only giving packages

to people with wristbands.

Wait, so we're just gonna turn people away

'cause they don't have a wristband?

So for all intensive purposes,

people in need without a wristband are dead to us.

"Intensive purposes?"

Did you mean "intents and purposes?"

I mean, you could say it both ways.

You can, but one way makes you sound like an idiot.

You're lucky you're pretty.

All right, you know what? I know what it...

you're lucky I'm pretty!

You went way above and beyond.

Most stores are just writing "fight breast cancer" on a jar

and sticking it at checkout.

Yeah, I mean, breast cancer is so first thought.

For a good reason.

You know, one in eight. Affects us all.

Anyway, I want Zephra to know you're kicking ass,

so I got them to send someone

to do a profile of you for the website.

A profile? Of me?

Um, okay. Wow.

Well, I've never been profiled before.

I mean, except racially.

This could be really good for you, so sell yourself.

We'll talk after, okay? Bye.

Bye.

This is great!

I mean, we hate it. Why do we hate it?

No, no, it's... it's fine, it's fine.

It's just... I don't know,

I don't know how to brag about myself,

it feels gross, and now I'm supposed to take a charity

and make it all about me.

Hey, you took their empty slogan

and did something actually great with it.

You deserve to brag a little bit.

I think you should be on all the websites.

I mean, except for the incel ones.

And most of Reddit.

4chan, 8chan...

I hope you're never on a website.

Oh, hey, Glenn.

Just a heads up, you might be getting a call from my landlady.

Oh, fun!

Oh, wait, is everything okay?

Oh, yeah.

It's just 'cause you cosigned the lease,

and Bo and I were late on the rent last month.

And this month.

She's crazy.

She's got, like, a total boner for rent.

Cheyenne, if you're having money problems,

I'm more than happy to help.

Oh, thanks, but no, we'll figure it out.

It's just, you know, groceries and kid expenses

and then you get caught up in a pyramid scheme

and then your husband breaks his tailbone

- at backyard wrestling. - Oh.

Anyway, I'm gonna go see if Robot Glenn sucked up any change.

Big breakfast.

All right, it checks out.

You'd be surprised how many people pose

as corporate reps at charity events

just to try to get free stuff.

- Really? - How do they pull that off?

- I'm not gonna tell you that. - Oh.

Sorry.

She's been a little extra since she saw

- "Richard Jewell." - Ah.

Anyway, thank you for coming and talking to me.

Hey, always happy to show off

one of the leaders in our new Cloud 9 family.

This is a really cool event you've put together.

Well thank you,

but I couldn't have done this without my team.

I mean, most of the credit goes to them.

And I also share some of that credit.

Hey, hey!

- Jeff? - What are you doing here?

Thought I'd surprise you, check in on the event

from the Cloud 9 side of things.

Oh, wow. You survived the acquisition?

Not that I thought that they were gonna fire you.

I mean, obviously they value your...

Jeff, this is Isabel. She works at Zephra.

Oh, oh, the parent company!

Oh, maybe I should call you Mommy.

I'm gay, so that's not weird.

Oh good, 'cause for a second I almost thought it was.

No, I'm from Digital Content.

We're doing a profile on Amy for the website.

Oh, very cool, very cool.

Listen, I'm gonna run inside and say hi to Mateo.

We've been playing phone tag

and he's been it for, like, the whole time. Um...

Everything looks shipshape. Okay.

Great. Glad you approve.

I was 100% sure he'd been fired.

- He didn't get fired? - I know, it's insane.

Ooh, I didn't know we carried aged balsamic.

- Nice. - Oh, yeah, it's great.

I make a reduction

and I drizzle it over vanilla ice cream.

Ah, that sounds amazing!

Are you, like, a culinary student, or...

Oh.

Haven't been a student of anything

for a couple decades.

Ah, you could've fooled me.

Your total is $36.48.

Would you like to round up to $37 today

for Holloway House Women's Shelter?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Thank you so much.

It's for a great cause.

All right. Thank you.

You have five minutes to tell Amy, or I will.

Tell Amy what?

How you were flirting with that lady.

Turning each other's cranks.

I thought you two were gonna do it right here on the belt.

Oh, come on, Sandra. I was just being friendly.

Customers appreciate a little, you know, human connection.

Ugh. Close your legs, Jonah.

My legs are fine,

and if anything,

we should be a little friendlier than usual today

to get people to round up for charity.

Not if it means betraying the woman you love.

Trust me, I'm married now.

Don't you dream about someday having what Jerry and I have?

Of course... well, exactly what you and Jerry...

it's fine, Sandra.

Hi. How's it going?

Hope you didn't have any trouble

finding those toe warmers.

He's gonna die alone.

Look, Mateo, when I put my career on the line for you,

it was because it was the right thing to do.

You don't owe me anything.

Although brunch wouldn't kill you.

Look, Jeff, it's not gonna happen.

I'm actually seeing someone.

Oh. Oh, yeah?

Mateo, that's amazing!

Thank you. That's very nice of you.

I'm very happy for you.

How'd you guys meet, or I mean, have you met yet