Catching Up

You ready?

Did the alarm go off?

Mine did.

You forgot pants again.

I'll be back.

That's not what they're there for.

What are they there for?

I'm tellin' you man,

anything more than a handful is a waste.

Her ratio's all outta whack.

What is with you and ratios?

What are you, a mathematician?

Face it man, your girlfriend's chest

- is oversized. - No!

No, no there is no such thing

- as oversized. - Oh my God.

What are we talking here, Schmitty? What do you like?

G cups, L cups, Z cups?

You're a joke.

I want my cup to runneth over.

Oh , all right. I think we're done here.

God.

Let's drown this animal out.

You're listening to "Dave Fuller in the A.M.,"

playing nothin' but the '80s, just the way we like it.

Here's another song to help start your day the correct way.

Move your booty, please.

Can you tell them to hurry up?

Relax, you have time.

I'm supposed to meet Trevor before class.

Who the hell is Trevor?

Not now, they're leaving.

Who's Trevor?

Mom!

That's a good sign.

You can shut the hell up if you want me to keep driving

your ass around every single day.

Language.

He's always talking shit on my friends.

- Yo! - Oh, come on guys.

So, what did we go with this time,

the beer guzzling party boy or the parking lot pot dealer?

Fuck you!

He doesn't smoke pot.

Okay, that's enough.

Go start the car.

I'm gonna see Donna later today.

Her sister's been askin' about you again.

What should I tell her?

You could tell her to stop.

She really wants to meet you.

Why don't you just ask her to dinner sometime?

I need a secretary, not a girlfriend, but thank you.

I'm just trying to help you out.

Why don't you help Angela instead?

She's a nurse, not a psychiatrist.

- Scott. - Liz.

Angela!

All right, I'll see ya.

Bye, man. I'll see ya.

Thanks for the ride.

Hey, wait a second.

For what?

I want you to meet him.

Why?

Just shut up and be polite.

Hey.

Hey.

Babe, this is my brother Frank.

You don't have to talk to him slow or anything.

He's not retarded.

I get it.

So, you work here, right?

Yes.

I doubt they'd let him work here if he was retarded.

Well, I'm glad we could do this,

but I have to make a phone call so...

It was nice meeting you.

You too.

God damn you.

Good morning to you too.

What do you want?

Well, I wanted to be the first

to wish you happy birthday but clearly the moment's passed.

God, I wanna stab you in the throat right now.

Nice, thank you.

So, what's the plan for tonight?

Working.

Oh, my parents are treating me

to dinner and a movie tomorrow night.

Can you come?

I have some assignments to grade,

- but maybe I can pull it off. - You're coming.

All right, I'm almost inside.

I'll talk to you later.

Thanks for wakin' me up, asshole.

Ugh!

That's why you only swipe right.

You can weed out all the ugly ones later,

but just keep swiping, swiping, swiping.

You'll find the perfect girl, I promise.

There's so many women...

See you later.

Frank.

Brad.

God, I fuckin' hate that guy.

Hey, guess who I saw this weekend?

I have no idea.

Miss Dennis.

Hi, girls.

The gym teacher.

Finally invited her over for some extracurricular activity.

Sounds inappropriate.

Eh, not as much as I'd hoped for if I'm bein' honest,

but I'm workin' on it.

- Thanks. - Did you hear the news?

Gettin' a new teacher next week.

Special ed, confirmed female.

Whoever spots her first gets to smash.

You're aware this isn't a singles bar, right?

Jesus, Frank, you don't watch too much TV do you?

High schools, law firms, hospitals.

It's like 20% work, 80% somethin' else

that usually happens in a broom closet.

Hi, Mr. Wells.

Hi, Courtney.

- Goodbye, Brad. - Goodbye.

People like to reduce Gregor's transformation down

to a one note metaphor.

Usually it's something about how his professional

and personal responsibilities are dehumanizing.

"He's a worker bee working his life away for the man,

so he turns into a literal worker bee."

Nevermind the fact that Kafka describes him

as more of a dung beetle and dung beetles

don't share the same social hierarchy as bees.

They all eat shit.

Which brings me to your next paper.

It's only a three pager, so don't freak out.

Can I get a volunteer to jot down

some guidelines on the board?

I'll help ya out, Wells.

Oh wait, I'm crippled too.

Tom.

Thank you.

So did you meet your sister's new dipshit boyfriend?

Momentarily.

Did you get a read on him?

He's affectionate and he wears exactly one earring.

That's all I know.

That's all you need to know.

Maybe your mother can talk some sense into her.

She's workin' late again.

Any idea what you wanna do for dinner?

You're gonna make dinner?

Well, I mean, what kinda pizza

we're gonna order.

Frank?

Yes?

Oh my God!

Hey!

Wow.

Sorry-

You guys know each other?

We grew up together.

It's been, what, like 10 years?

How are you?

What have you been up to?

Not too much.

In retrospect the last 10 years have been incredibly lame.

I'm teaching.

Are you visiting or...?

No, I'm back.

I start next Monday.

So, you're the new teacher I heard about?

I guess so.

Val was just about to show me to my class.

Why don't you come with us?

I would, but I have a class.

Okay but we need to talk more.

I'll see you around?

Yeah, I'll see you around.

For these thy gifts which we are about to receive

from thy bounty through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

So, have you gotten any compliments on the perfume?

Nope.

Are you sure you're using it correctly?

You know, two spritzes and a walkthrough?

I don't like perfume.

It makes me queasy.

Gets in your mouth.

I always wear perfume.

I know, I'm having trouble tasting my food.

Well, the girl at the store says

that's what she wears and her boyfriend loves it.

You should come back with me.

I saw some cute dresses.

That's okay.

Well, I wanna get you something nice for next Saturday.