BUNK'D

Excuse me, sir. Can you have these delivered to my room?

Geez! You don't shave your legs for one month, and suddenly you're a "sir."

I haven't even looked at your legs yet.

Ravi Ross, a pleasure.

You must be Ms. Gladys, the proprietor.

Thank you for letting Mrs. Kipling come to camp.

I assure you, the odds of her eating any campers are very remote.

I would still hide the bite-size kids.

Aren't there supposed to be four of you?

Our brother, Luke, got stuck in summer school.

Probably because he can't spell either of those words.

Check cleared, don't care. Sign in with my niece.

Hazel, these are the Rosses.

I met your parents right here when we were 16.

Your dad was a stone-cold fox.

Could've gone my whole life without hearing that.

My aunt's always talking about your mom.

She hates her.

With every bone in my body, including my artificial hip.

I loved your father, but your mom stole him from me.

Plus the title of "Best Counselor,"

and any chance I ever had at having a happy life!

No offense, but you guys are the worst welcoming committee ever.

escape tunnel tonight.

By the way, phones aren't allowed at camp. Hand it over.

No! Back off, mister!

Oh!

I'm studying for the national spelling bee!

If I don't win, my mom won't let me come home.

My brother lost last year, and I haven't seen him in 10 months.

Welcome!

I'm Lou, camp counselor and head Woodchuck in charge!

I'm Emma. I'd hug you back, but you just separated my shoulder.

Oops! My bad.

We'll make you a sling in arts and crafts.

So, you're my new counselor in training?

Let the training begin.

Sit!

Jk!

No, seriously. Sit, or you're goin' in the crate!

JK again! I'm all about the JKs!

Lol!

OMG!

So, how many years of camp experience do you have?

None.

But you like kids, right? Not really. They're sticky.

So why do you want to be a camp counselor?

Oh, I don't.

But my mom thought it would be good for me.

I guess she was some sort of super counselor,

so now she expects me to live up to that.

Good luck! Christina Ross is a legend around here.

They say she could assemble a s'more in two seconds flat,

and her dreamcatchers actually caught dreams!

She caught mine!

And mine!

I should be in Milan for Fashion Week,

but instead I'm stuck here picking bugs out of my teeth!

Nature's popcorn.

Speaking of fashion, I hate to brag, but I'm a cover girl.

Really?

Yep! Four-H Digest.

The big fall flea and tick issue.

If we run fast enough, we might be able to catch the limo.

Greetings, bunk mate! Hey! Uh... Whoa!

Uh, I think that alligator thingy ate your pet.

That alligator thingy is my pet.

Oh, that explains the cage.

I just thought we were getting a really creepy kid.

Ravi Gupta Balasubramanium Ross,

your new CIT eagerly reporting for duty, sir!

I'm Xander.

Oh. So what are the cabin rules?

I'm not really big on rules.

Except always wear shower shoes.

I once got fungus so bad, I lost a toenail.

But it's cool, 'cause now I use it as a guitar pick.

You know those cost, like, five cents, right?

Hey, dudes! I'm Jorge.

Mind if I take this bunk?

Actually, that is my... Dude, trust me. You want me to sleep downwind!

Especially on burrito night.

I once had a 23-minute fart!

That seems medically impossible.

Although handy if we go hot-air ballooning.

That's why the aliens abducted me. I'm special.

Well, parts of you clearly are.

So let me guess. The aliens probed you?

Of course not! They just invited me for brunch. You're weird.

Xander, that was awesome!

Can I have your pick?

Sure.

Then during free time tomorrow, we can dive for mud dabs,

and connect your mosquito bites to see what shape they make!

Look, mine make Abe Lincoln!

Whoa!

That supes cute guy is here and you led with mud dabs?

Where did that wind come from?

Whoa! I think I'm in love.

Finally!

Let's get married after the tetherball tournament!

Hi, I'm Xander. I'm Emma.

I'm nauseous.

Ooh! Looks like Cupid just shot an arrow.

I hope it goes in her eye and out her ear.

Little Woodchuck wisdom, don't go to the archery range with her.

Campers, welcome to Camp Kikiwaka!

Except for you, Timmy. Your parents' check bounced.

You can sleep by the front gate.

Hopefully, they'll pick you up in the morning.

Ki-ki-wa-ka!

Ki-ki-wa-ka!

Ki-ki-wa-ka! Ki-ki-wa-ka!

Okay, this is a cult. Taxi!

We pay homage to Kikiwaka, the giant, ravenous demon beast

who roams these woods!

Say what now?

Ki-ki-wa-ka!

Hear me and leave these campers in peace!

Did she just say "in pieces"?

With the blessing of Kikiwaka, our summer revels commence!

Remember to pick up your trash.

Tiffany, aren't you scared of the Kikiwaka?

Nope. Nothing's scarier than my mom if I don't get an A.

Listen, cheekbones,

Xander is mine.

No, I'm not.

So you should go back to New York before one

of those long legs ends up in a bear trap.

See you at the friendship circle.

She's not really good with new people.

Or old people. Or any people.

Attention, campers! Time for the obstacle course.

The winning cabin gets to have a pizza party,

while I just continue the obstacle course that is my life.

Is archery part of the obstacle course?

Nope.

Ravi, what are you doing?

Obviously, as your counselor-in-training, I am demonstrating what not to do.

Dude, you're embarrassing Grizzly Cabin! And men in general!

I think Ravi's doing great,

considering he could barely pick up his egg for the egg race.

It was a jumbo! What do they feed those chickens?

Whoo-hoo! That was fun.

Fun? Forget fun! Focus!

Thanks to your pathetic performance on this bouncy house,

our cabin is behind!

Tiffany, it's just a game. Who cares?

I care!

Because if we don't win "best cabin,"

then I can't win "best camper,"

and if I don't win "best camper,"

I won't get into Harvard, which means I won't get into Harvard Medical School,

which means I'll never become a top doctor, which will kill my mother!

Do you want to kill my mother?

No, but I do want to talk to her about her parenting skills.

So Woodchuck Cabin is losing,

Your campers are turning on each other...

Great leadership, Emma!

She is a good leader!

Just ask our campers.

Which one's Emma again?

You should just go home now.

As a CIT, you're DOA.

She is not!

She has legendary counselor Christina Ross' blood running through her veins!

And I'd like to keep it there,

so let's not get the girl with access to arrows angry.

Ah! Look, I'm doing it!

That's my bunk buddy, people!

Hey, Emma, catch!

Let's see how Xander likes Little Miss Perfect now.

Emma!

Emma, are you okay?

Well, I'm better than those worms I just fell on.

Oh!

A pretty girl covered in mud, and you thought he wasn't going to like that?

What's next? You hand her a tray of hot wings and have her turn on football?

I can't believe there's still mud in my ears.

Lucky you.

At least you don't have to listen to Tiffany's violin.

Give it a rest!

Stop screaming at Violet!