Journey Into Solitude (旅の重さ)

Mum, don't be shocked.

Don't cry and stay calm.

Right, I'm off for a trip.

I'm not just running away.

I want to walk around the island of Shikoku, just like a pilgrim.

Yes, I should have left you a letter that morning.

I just didn't bother that time.

Maybe you would have set off to come running after me.

I knew what was going on.

I knew that you went to a man's place that morning.

Don't be angry.

I'm not trying to be funny.

I do love you, mum.

You know what?

It feels great sleeping on the earth instead of a futon.

I always knew that a candle's flame is pretty.

But now I've learnt about the wonderful smell when putting it out.

Good night, mum.

I'll write again soon.

JOURNEY INTO SOLITUDE

I have lived my life until today

Sometimes relying on the help of others

Sometimes clinging on to somebody else

I have lived my life until today

And this is what I came to think

That I will continue to live on like this from tomorrow

I have lived my life until today

Sometimes laughing at somebody

Sometimes getting threatened by somebody

I have lived my life until today

And this is what I came to think

That I will continue to live on like this from tomorrow

I have lived my life until today

Sometimes getting betrayed by somebody

Sometimes taking somebody’s hand

I have lived my life until today

And this is what I came to think

That I will continue to live on like this from tomorrow

Mum, to be honest:

Even now, the only thing I can think of is you.

I'm 16 already! Why am I such a mama's girl?

Just as if I were possessed by your ghost!

You always say to me:

"My life could be so much easier if you would just die."

Now I am thinking...

...it would be better for me if you could just die.

Poor mum!

Excuse me!

Sorry to cause so many worries.

There was bereavement at my husband's family.

She's there on behalf of our family.

I see.

When she's back, please inform us at the school.

Sorry you came all the way...

Thinking of it, we are an interesting family, aren't we?

Just like allies or foes.

Or like lovers or friends.

But mum!

What if I never returned to you?

It's possible.

For now I just keep on walking.

Remember the poem I wrote?

One day I met my own skeleton.

The skeleton kept quiet

and with its eye holes dark like a cave

it just smiled at me.

The white bone-joints cracked

as it stroked me.

I took off for this trip to set myself free from such haunting illusions.

Refreshing air, uncharted lands.

I felt all would turn out fine if I just went on my trip.

Excuse me, would you give me some shelter while it's raining?

Even once the rain is over...

...you won't find your way once it's getting dark.

You can stay here if you don't mind sleeping on the floor.

Right, grandma?

Sorry, there are only cold leftovers...

That's fine.

Thank you for letting me stay.

Hope you like it.

Please have some.

I'm sure I will. Thank you so much!

Just leave the bowl here then.

Thanks.

Bon appetit.

Hush, little baby. Don't cry.

Let's have some milk.

Your own shoes won't be dry by tomorrow morning.

Oh.

Thank you!

The red strap is really beautiful.

So, are you from around her?

Mmh?

I beg your pardon?

I'm asking if you are coming from around her.

Me?

I am...

...on my pilgrimage.

So you are a pilgrim?

And how old are you?

I'd say still younger than 20...?

No...

I've just turned 20.

Has anyone around you died?

No...

Well then...

Any health problems then?

Yes...

At your young age!

But with your effort to prove your piety...

...I am sure there will be a good effect.

And are both of your parents in good health?

She fell asleep already?

Excuse me, may I join you?

Delicious!

Yes.

How brave you are, going on pilgrimage all by yourself.

Well...

You said you were 20...?

Yes...

What a tough girl you are.

Where are you from?

Shamanic.

From Shikoku island then.

I'm from Hiroshima.

Oh yes...

It all happened when I was about your age.

The a-bomb...

I had already been a dead body back then.

I was in the house when it happened.

When they pulled me out of the collapsed house...

...I had lost consciousness and it was as if I was dead.

Thanks to that my skin didn't get burnt though.

But inside I was a total wreck.

To protect me from light and sun.

Being in a group of three is so much better than only two.

Three?

It says "always the two of us" here, right?

It means Master Kukai is always with you.

- Of course you knew that. - No.

Why not?

So you don't know much about pilgrimage?

Do you know why Kukai created the 88 pilgrim spots here on Shikoku?

No.

You don't know anything about Shikoku, your home island!

I hear that this god

promises most graciously to

guard the secret teaching which is

spread abroad in three lands

of India, China and Japan

Praised be the Bodhisattva Cannon

I hear that this god

promises most graciously to

guard the secret teaching which is

spread abroad in three lands...

Mum.

I feel like melting into sun, earth and water little by little.

And I can feel how I become strong and mature.

Hey!

Stop it!

You should treat me to lunch.

So you are a school teacher?

No...

A habitual criminal then.

How about a drink? Coke or juice?

Some beer!

- Miss! - Just kidding!

Thank you!

It was delicious. Good bye.

You!

Mum!

I am of the same age as these girls?

I just can't believe it.

I'm wondering why I suddenly feel so grown up.

Is it because I am travelling on my own?

Did it fill me with such self-confidence?

Mum...

It also scares me to see me changing so much.

Hello!

Stop!

Bastard!

Hello!

Thank you!

How many days haven't you had a bath?

You stink. Not that it matters...

In spite of your pretty looks.

I was looking forward to have a fun drive with you until Kochi.

I stink so badly?

It's really bad.

It's a tough business being a beggar-pilgrim.

So without any bath...

...how far will you get by foot?

Not that I'd care...

Mum, once people go on a trip they feel extremely lonely...

...or they become stubborn.

They say travelling is about encounters.

But with encounters like this I just get angry and depressed.

That's what we both have to keep up with.

The night costs 300 Yen.

Can I take a bath?