We Need to Talk About America - Second Season

- I had no idea what I wanted to be or do,

so I ended up being an accounting major.

Accounting's not really about math,

it's about putting things in piles, and that's boring.

- This is "We Need To Talk About America".

- The show where first generation comedians.

- Break down life in the U.S.A.

- On today's show we're talking about careers.

Side hustles.

The American rat race.

- I actually do believe that I'm a doctor of ----.

I'm not even having fun now.

You tell me I gotta grow up and get a job?

We also have.

- Chinedu revisits his first job.

Somebody broke the sink!

That was you?

And.

- Sherry explores when culture becomes a career.

When you play hard to get,

that's when you make the money.

Having a career in America

is almost your full identity it seems like.

When you meet somebody, nine out of 10 times it's like,

"what do you do for a living?"

They wanna know, and it's like, "well I'm an accountant."

You're like oh he's good with numbers, he's boring.

Careers in America are great

'cause there are endless options, endless opportunities.

The whole American dream.

You graduate college, you get a job,

and that's what you do for the rest of your life forever.

- Tell me again Harry, why did I take this job?

- Oh come on, 30 more years of this you get a tiny pension

and a cheap gold watch.

Cool.

- Other countries success is like,

"look at my family and my loved ones,

"and we're all happy and healthy."

In America success is like, "look at my money and guns!"

- I think America has a very toxic relationship with work.

I'm all for people taking as many breaks

as they want and that they can.

I think we work way too hard here.

My parent's generation want us

to have a career that's a lot more stable, secure;

doctor, lawyer, accountant.

I want him to be a lawyer

but he doesn't wanna be a lawyer.

I said, "fine, whatever you decide to do

"as long as you can take care of yourself I'll support you."

And that's exactly what he's been doing.

- Everyone in our family has to get a under grad,

a masters degree, and do NYSC,

which is we go back to Nigeria to serve our country,

which I did all three.

When you're a first generation

and you kinda pursue a career in the arts,

that's very challenging

for our parents to understand what that means

because it's very different from the kind of work

at least my parents the kinda work that they did.

Gardener, construction, that kinda thing.

And for me to say that I'm gonna make a career

out of telling jokes, that's usually where the kind of

bumping of generations happen.

- I told my mom I was doing stand up,

and she was like.

"Like Ellen?"

She had no concept.

And then I told my dad and he was like,

"so you just hang out at bars?"

"Yes, to work."

"That doesn't sound like work."

- This is not a drill, everyone line up.

Turn it off, turn it off.

What's up everybody?

This segment is called pimp my diploma,

like a Build-A-Bear for a degree.

I'm here with a good friend of mine, Royce.

Okay what up Royce?

- How you doin'? - How you doin' man?

- Chillin'. - Royce is a master

designer, but he's gonna get us the degrees

our parents or maybe you always wanted.

There is a pressure as a first generation

to get a college education.

- Dude I deal with it every day still.

Really?

- Like I got a HBO special and my mom was like,

"but when are you gonna go back to school?"

- I went to college for six years

and I don't have a diploma.

We're gonna fix that today.

- My parents are gonna be very excited about this.

- So you get a bachelors of sociology

and then you get your masters.

Would you ever want to go and get that PhD?

No classes, we're gonna make it happen

with my good friend.

Are you kidding me?

Okay.

All right let's go to Harvard.

Harvard.

But then put like a backslash.

What's another Ivy League?

- MIT, you're gonna go with that?

A hybrid degree if you will. - Oh yeah, I was there.

Yeah yeah yeah.

'Cause Zoom.

Did you graduate

from college-- - No I dropped out.

- You dropped out? - Yeah.

- What college did you wanna graduate from?

- I actually did wanna graduate from Stanislaus State.

- So what was this college known for?

What are they known for?

Yeah what was the--

Assyrians.

- Cal State Fullerton, and my degree

is in entertainment studies and tourism.

I was there for so long that they added to the major

by the time I graduated.

Nice.

- Wow! - Whoa there it is.

- Yeah, greatest child alive, only child,

I am an only child.

So my parents did-- - Me too.

Get out here Tim. - Oh wow look at us, wow.

Dude. - We're finding out

a lot about each other right now.

You know what, and it's crazy

'cause we didn't like each other up until this bit.

I did not know that.

Tim.

- I would say at this point in my life

I actually do believe that I am a doctor of ----.

- We can make that work. - Okay great.

Yeah yeah yeah.

What?

Look at these options.

I like the ---- costume. - All right.

Doctors of all doctors.

Put a back slash, lawyer.

For my mom she probably wishes

I majored in heterosexuality.

We can put a double major.

Some people have gone with a-- - Slash.

Slash?

I like the slash.

Nurse practitioner.

- Nurse practitioner. - Not too high

not too low, just mid, the goldilocks of medical.

- Ambitious but not too ambitious.

Right.

Slash, mother.

My mom's breathing down my neck to have grandkids.

Okay.

- Definitely put like the shield on there for me

like a knight yeah.

Oh oh okay.

- Yeah I want a gavel on there.

- A gavel. - So they know it's legit.

I'm also gonna need, give me a black belt.

- Did you ever study martial arts?

I did on this degree.

A catch phrase.

Can we immortalize that

in your degree? - Set the bar low.

Set the bar low.

And like a Thai flag randomly.

- Go limbo, I wanna see some people up in that bitch.

- Put fire emoji somewhere on it.

I feel like I'm customizing my MySpace page right now.

This is what it is.

I like that.

- Hit it with the 30 degree tilt.

Like a stamp bro.

Can we get a little clip art

of the ---- saying "ha ha ha",

like the ejaculation is a "ha ha ha."

Oh my god, that's beautiful.

Look at that.

- Let's put that turtle in there.

You know why?

Because just keep swimming.

A Nemo quote?

This is great, we're gonna send it off to the printer,

we're gonna have it delivered to you.

Not only is this a college degree, it's a vision board.

- I told you I can do it dad, I told you!

(triumphant instrumental music continues)

- When I was a kid, and I was like six or seven or eight,

I found out that when we had to grow up

we would have to get a job.

And I was like, dude I'm not even having fun now.

You're telling me I gotta grow up and get a job?

- So my first job was courtesy clerk at Safeway,