Darkwing Duck

3, 2, 1!

Let's get dangerous.

Darkwing, Darkwing... Duck!

Look out!

Let's get dangerous.

A desperate criminal is at large,

and terror runs through the streets

like a pair of cheap stockings!

But it's hopeless. No one gets the drop on Dark... Oof!

Gosalyn Waddlemeyer!

Boy, Darkwing, you gotta work on your narration.

They write better stuff on Saturday morning cartoons.

Oh, yeah? Well, how's this?

In a lightning move, Darkwing Duck turns the tables

on the tiny te-te-terror till she...

Will you stop that?

That's no fair tickling.

A radio.

Let's have some tunes.

Yow!

What are you doing? Turning on the clock radio?

Whoa!

That's... not... a radio!

Keen gear!

This is some kind of training course, huh?

- You might say that. - Let me try!

No, it's too... dangerous.

That was amazing.

It's not at my level, of course,

but that's still pretty impressive.

Darn. Forgot the milk.

Oh, allow me.

Oh, you oughta be more careful.

Sounds reasonable.

Good. I found this stashed in the closet.

How come you don't wear it when you ride your bike?

Because it doesn't look, uh... dramatic.

Neither does scrambled brains.

You should have seat belts, too.

Look, kiddo. I appreciate the concern, really,

but I knew this job was dangerous when I took it.

How come you wear a mask?

Because there is nothing so terrifying

to the criminal mind as the unknown.

I am the thing that goes "bump" in the night.

I'm the neuroses

that requires a $500-an-hour shrink!

You mean you don't take off your mask for anyone?

That's right. Not no one, not never.

What about a really, really, really close friend?

Well, uh, maybe... someday.

Hey, it's a start.

But if I use your bed, where will you be sleeping?

No, I won't be. I'm a night person, remember?

And with Taurus Bulba at large again,

I'll have to be extra vigilant.

What does he want with me anyway?

Well, Bulba stole your grandfather's invention,

and he... he thinks you know the code that operates it.

What is a Waddlemeyer Ramrod, anyway?

It's a trachyon-specific device

that disrupts gravitational bonds on a molecular level

that allows manipulation on a macro scale.

- What does that mean? - I don't know.

I think it makes things flow and stuff.

Here's a picture.

That's Grandpa.

Well, it looks like you were really close.

We were.

Well, but-but he never told me any code!

Hmm. Unfortunately, Taurus Bulba doesn't know that,

and his men will be searching for you, you know.

Although, if they knew how much spirit you have,

they'd probably run the other way.

Spirit?

Mwah!

Thanks, Darkwing.

Oh, sure. Ha.

Good night, Gosalyn.

I can't sleep.

Ah, you just need something to relax ya.

I think I have a large mallet around here somewhere.

Grandpa used to sing me a lullaby.

Oh, w-well, that's...

I don't really do lullabies.

Why don't you teach me one of his so I can sing it back to you?

This has the suspicious ring of reverse psychology to it.

Hm, but have it your way.

Not much on lyrics. Let me try.

Good night, Gosalyn.

Huh? What is... What you got?

Oh!

This kid could wake Elvis.

Sure is sweet, though.

Too?

Hold the phone.

The lyrics match the controls of the Ramrod.

She's had the arming code all along

and never even knew it.

And for her sake, it better stay that way.

Lightning? Without thunder?

Hmm. The pattern's too regular for lightning.

Excellent.

A half-hour of this should be sufficient.

Yes, Taurus Bulba.

It's simply a matter of knowing your adversary.

Somewhere down there is this Darkwing Duck.

I've watched him. I know his weakness.

That's Morse code out there.

Taurus Bulba, the criminal genius,

recognizing the error of his ways,

is offering to surrender himself,

but only to Darkwing Duck.

Once Tantalus pinpoints his hideout,

you three will grab the girl.

But, boss, what if he doesn't know Morse code?

Ha-ha. That do-gooder?

He probably sleeps with a Boy Scout Handbook under his pillow.

Whew. I'm sure glad I saved this baby.

OK, now, let's see. We got a...

"Surrender only to... Darkwing Duck."

Yes! It's headline city!

What's up? Win the lottery?

Oh, Gosalyn, I didn't mean to wake you, but look.

It's obvious my reputation has spread

through every sewer and gutter where criminals gather.

I don't even have to make a move.

They come to me, groveling at my doorstep, pleading to be turned in.

I sense a major motion picture here.

But that doesn't make sense. He just escaped.

Gosalyn, Gosalyn, Gosalyn, it is obvious that he's had a chance

to talk to his men about me.

Yeah, right, but seriously.

You told me Taurus Bulba was a criminal genius.

Why would he surrender to you?

He knows he's outmatched. I have his men on the run.

Oh?

From what I remember, we were doing the running.

Oh. You think it was all just luck, eh?

I didn't say -

Just a coincidence that you're here with me instead of with him?

Hey, no!

That I'm just another clown in a costume.

Who's gonna take Darkwing Dip seriously?

- But I don't think... - Never mind!

It doesn't matter.

After Taurus Bulba's back in jail, you'll be back in the orphanage.

Then we can both get back to our lives.

The Audubon Bay Bridge. She's in the tower.

Take the boys and grab her.

I'll go keep Darkwing Duck occupied.

I am the Terror that Flaps in the Night.

I am the jailer who throws away the key.

I am...

Feeling really stupid.

Boy, I hate it when I'm early.

Sheesh. You'd think criminal masterminds would be more punctual.

Please accept my apologies.

Well, OK, but next time you -

Taurus Bulba! How did you...? Where...?

I am the Terror that Flaps in the Night.

I am... I'm the s-surprise in your cereal box.

- I am... I am... - Yes, yes. I know. I heard.

You're Darkwing Duck.

Uh... yeah. That's... Yeah.

Ha-ha! Your ego is out of control, isn't it?

- What? - I mean, seriously.

Why would I surrender to you?

- Because I have your men on the run? - Ha-ha-ha ha!

Oh, please.

I manipulated you like a puppet.

Yeah? Well... I manipulated you into manipulating me.

I have you right where I want you -

alone with me, Darkwing Duck!

Gee, this hurts.

Sorry. I don't have time to play.