Parks and Recreation

- AND IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU, OUR TEACHERS,

THAT EVERY ONE OF THESE RECREATION CLASSES

IN THIS CATALOG SHINES LIKE A JEWEL

IN PAWNEE'S BEAUTIFUL CROWN.

UNFORTUNATELY, DUE TO BUDGET CONSTRAINTS,

THIS YEAR WE WILL HAVE TO REMOVE

FIVE JEWELS FROM THAT CROWN.

EXCUSE ME?

ARE YOU CUTTING OUR CLASSES?

YEAH.

THE CITY, UM, TOOK AWAY $1,000 FROM OUR BUDGET.

SO I'M VERY SORRY.

- HOW WILL YOU DECIDE WHICH CLASSES TO CUT?

- BY ATTENDANCE. AND STUDENT EVALUATIONS.

SO JUST MAKE SURE YOUR STUDENTS LEAVE WITH A SMILE.

- MY CLASS IS CALLED "COPING WITH TERMINAL ILLNESS."

- HOPEFULLY, YOUR ATTENDANCE IS GOOD.

ACTUALLY, NO.

HOPEFULLY, IT'S BAD.

NOBODY'S MORE UPSET ABOUT THIS THAN ME.

I'VE BEEN TAKING THESE REC CENTER CLASSES

SINCE I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL.

IT'S WHERE I LEARNED HAIR BRAIDING

AND HOW TO MAKE BISCUITS, FRENCH KISSING.

THE FRENCH KISSING WAS JUST FROM A BOY IN MY BISCUITS CLASS,

BUT EITHER WAY, LESSON LEARNED.

*

- OH, MY GOD. YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN TO CARNIVAL.

I WANNA GO.

- WE HAVE TO GET TICKETS IN FEBRUARY

TO GO TO RIO DE JANEIRO, LESLIE KNOPE.

OKAY.

I AM ON A DATE WITH JUSTIN IN INDIANAPOLIS.

WE'VE ONLY BEEN OUT A FEW TIMES,

BUT EVERY ONE OF THEM HAS BEEN AMAZING.

CHEERS.

- LAST TIME, WE HAD A PRIVATE TOUR AND COCKTAILS

AT THE INDIANAPOLIS AQUARIUM.

THAT FISH OVER THERE KIND OF REMINDS ME OF MY MOM.

WHY?

- IT'S... JUST BEING REALLY WITHHOLDING.

JUSTIN IS DEFINITELY THE MOST INTERESTING GUY

I'VE EVER DATED.

- ALL I DID WAS A LITTLE PAPERWORK.

HMM. HE'S BEING MODEST.

IT IS THANKS TO HIM MY FAMILY REMAINS IN THIS COUNTRY.

AND IT WAS ALL PRO BONO.

OH, JUSTIN.

YOU HAVE GOT TO TRY THIS.

OH, THAT'S REALLY GOOD.

- ISN'T IT GREAT? - MM-HMM.

- IT'S CAMEL STOMACH. - IS IT?

- I'M TEASING, I'M TEASING. IT'S CHICKEN.

- WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY THE CAMEL STOMACH?

NO.

OH, THIS IS ME.

- SO WHEN AM I GONNA SEE YOU AGAIN?

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA BE NEAR PAWNEE ON TUESDAY.

EXCELLENT, YEAH.

I'LL PLAN SOMETHING EXCITING.

- MM. - IN FACT...

OUR DATE IN PAWNEE

IS GONNA BLOW INDIANAPOLIS OUT OF THE WATER.

- ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA HOLD YOU TO THAT.

GOOD, YOU BETTER.

I WILL.

I'VE RACKED MY BRAIN

AND I CAN'T COME UP WITH ONE EXCITING IDEA.

I MEAN, HE ONCE ATE FRIED COCKATOO

WITH A MEMBER OF THE THAI ROYAL FAMILY.

- WELL, MAYBE JUST HAVE HIM OVER

AND COOK HIM SOME CHICKEN

AND TELL HIM IT'S PAWNEE COCKATOO.

- A DINNER PARTY. THAT'S GENIUS.

I'LL INVITE ALL MY MOST INTERESTING FRIENDS OVER,

WE'LL HAVE THIS BIG RAMBLING PARTY--

- NO, I ACTUALLY MEANT MORE OF, LIKE, A ONE-ON-ONE THING.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT,

BUT I TOOK YOUR IDEA AND MADE IT BETTER.

IT'S CALLED A THINK TANK, ANN.

- WHAT IS? - OUR LUNCHES.

OUR LUNCHES ARE LIKE THINK THANKS.

OKAY, I WANT YOU TO COME OVER 00

AND HELP ME GET READY.

OH, AND MAKE SURE THAT MARK IS COMING.

OH, SO MUCH WORK TO DO. YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

NOW GET OUT OF HERE!

- HOW MANY COURSES WILL THERE BE?

- THREE. - MM.

- FOUR. - MM...

- NOT INCLUDING DESSERT. - SO FIVE COURSES.

- YES. NOW IT WILL BE FIVE COURSES.

IF I WANTED TO BRING

A LARGE NUMBER OF DEVILED EGGS

BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE THEM WITH ANYONE ELSE,

CAN YOU GUARANTEE FRIDGE SPACE?

00.

OH, HEY, TOM.

I'M HAVING AN A-LIST DINNER PARTY FOR JUSTIN

AND YOU, OUT OF ALL MY FRIENDS,

COME FROM THE MOST DISTANT AND EXOTIC LAND.

SOUTH CAROLINA?

- SAVE IT FOR THE PARTY.

CAN YOU MAKE IT?

- FOR JUSTIN, ARE YOU KIDDING? I'M THERE.

JUST DON'T INVITE ANY BORING PEOPLE LIKE JERRY.

- WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

- NOTHING. - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

WHAT?

- LESLIE, HEY. - HI.

- CHECK IT OUT. JUST PRACTICING.

- ISN'T THAT POLISH GONNA GET ON PEOPLE'S BUTTS

WHEN THEY SIT DOWN?

- NO.

- OKAY, LISTEN. I'M HAVING A PARTY.

MM-HMM.

- AND, UM, I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME WITH SERVING

AND TAKING PEOPLE'S COATS.

I'D PAY YOU, LIKE, TEN BUCKS AN HOUR.

- MY GUARDIAN ANGEL, I WOULD LOVE TO.

WHO'S GONNA BE THERE? - REALLY FUN PEOPLE.

RON, TOM, MARK AND ANN.

THAT'S GREAT. WHAT'S THE OCCASION?

JUSTIN'S COMING TO TOWN.

HAH...

HEY, IT'S ME JUSTIN.

TAKE MY COAT, BUT PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

I GOT IT FROM THE KING OF AFRICA

WHEN WE WERE WALKING ON THE-- THE BERLIN WALL TOGETHER.

REALLY, JUSTIN.

WHAT INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY?

ACTUALLY--

ACTUALLY, HE'S A PRETTY SICK KEYBOARDIST.

OH, GREAT, I'M GOOD TO GO. THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

- GREAT. - I'LL SEE YOU THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

AFTERNOON, ANDY.

- HI, HI, KYLE.

YOU KNOW, RIGHT BEFORE YOU SAT DOWN,

I NOTICED, DID YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF STAIN ON YOUR ASS

OR SOMETHING, WHAT WAS THAT?

WHAT?

- OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU'RE GOOD.

- HEY, ANN. - HEY.

- WELCOME TO MY HOUSE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.

- I KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE NEVER HAD ME OVER.

NOW I CAN BELIEVE IT.

- I KNOW, I KNOW. IT'S A LITTLE MESSY.

BUT I HAVE A SYSTEM.

SO I JUST NEED YOU TO HELP ME

PUT THE FINISHING TOUCHES ON EVERYTHING.

- THIS NEWSPAPER'S FROM NOVEMBER 1986.

- OH, THE FIRST RUMBLINGS OF IRAN CONTRA.

DON'T THROW THAT OUT.

- I THINK I NEED TO CALL CHILD SERVICES

AND HAVE LESLIE TAKEN AWAY FROM HERSELF.

LESLIE, DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY,

BUT YOUR HOUSE IS LIKE A CRAZY PERSON'S GARAGE.

WHAT DO YOU NEED THIS BIRDHOUSE FOR?

AH--

CAN WE GET RID OF IT?

- AH--OH-- I MIGHT NEED IT.

WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?

- WELL, IF TWO BIRDS COME ALONG.

LESLIE.

ANDY'S GONNA COME OVER SOON.

HE CAN HELP US WITH ALL THIS STUFF.

- ANDY? NO. NO, NO, NO.

YOU NEED A TEAM OF PROFESSIONALS TO HELP.

I HAVE AN IDEA.

HI, IS THIS MARIA PORTLESMAN

FROM ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE WITH MARIA PORTLESMAN?

APRIL, COME HERE!

- WHAT? - SHAKE MY HAND.

WHY?

- I CAN'T TELL IF I'VE EXFOLIATED TOO MUCH.

I DON'T WANNA CREEP JUSTIN OUT.

I WANT HIM TO RESPECT MY HANDSHAKE.

WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT HIM?

JUSTIN IS HIP.

PAWNEE IS THE OPPOSITE OF HIP.

PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN ARE JUST NOW

GETTING INTO NIRVANA.

I DON'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL THEM

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO KURT COBAIN IN 1994.

HEY, JUSTIN.

EW.

IT'S LIKE TOUCHING RAW CHICKEN.

DAMN IT.

GONNA HAVE TO RE-FOLIATE 'EM.

- UM, I'LL NEED SOME HELP MOVING THE BOXES,

BUT IT'S DOABLE.

- OH, THANK GOD. HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?

- OH, PLEASE. NO CHARGE.

I JUST APPRECIATE THE CHANCE TO DEMONSTRATE

HOW VALUABLE MY CLASS IS TO THE REC CENTER.

AND I HOPE YOU'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND.

- OH, NO, NO. I INSIST ON PAYING.

- OH, NO, NO. I INSIST ON DEMONSTRATING.