The Looney Tunes Show

Give me a wrench.

- Porky! - Huh?

Oh, sorry, I was studying.

Studying?

Yeah, I went back to school.

Oh, boy.

I figured the catering business can be such a roller coaster.

It's good to keep your options open.

Besides, I've always loved school.

You know, for two people

that spend a lot of time together,

we really have nothing in common.

Ah, that should do it.

What were you fixing?

Nothing. But women love a guy who works on his car.

Are those Bugs' gloves?

Gotta protect my delicate hands.

Women love a man with a soft touch.

What you winkin' at? Don't you wave at me!

Well, most women.

Daffy!

- What's up? - Where are my gloves?

Oh, I washed them.

Why would you wash them?!

Because they were covered in grease and oil.

You're welcome!

My gloves are dry clean only!

- I said I was sorry. - No, you didn't.

Look, let's not split hairs. Why do you even wear gloves?

Because, I've always worn them. It's who I am.

Why do you wear that thing around your neck?

Grand mummy, one day when I'm grown,

will you give me your pearls?

I wear this for medical reasons.

They've shrunk!

You shrunk my gloves!

But what would I expect from someone named "Daffy"?

What's that supposed to mean?!

I got to have some gloves in here somewhere.

What's wrong with my name?

Look it up.

"Daffy--adjective.

Foolish, insane, brainless, crazy."

This explains so much!

No wonder I've always been treated with such disdain;

why no one's given me the respect I deserve!

It certainly can't be because of my manner

or anything I've done.

It's because of my name.

I have to change my name!

Good-bye, Daffy!

Hello...

Ah, well, I'll think of something.

Do these gloves look weird?

Daffy?

How do you say "taco" in Spanish?

Taco.

Ta... co.

How do you say, uh, burrito?

- Burrito. - What?!

So Spanish and English are the same? That's crazy.

Ehh.

I, uh, I think you push it.

Hey, Bugs, where you been?

I've been waiting a half an hour.

I got lost.

What do you mean you got lost? You come here all the time.

I know, uh, I don't know what's wrong with me.

Oh, you poor thing. Let me get you a glass of water.

Or, as they say in Spanish,

a glass of water.

Hola, senor Bugs. Can I get you the usual?

Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.

The usual. What's my usual?

A personal carrot pizza.

Carrot pizza?

Who puts carrots on pizza?

Are you ok? You seem strange.

I just don't feel like myself.

I--I don't know what it is.

Here you go, bun bun. Where are your gloves?

My gloves!

I'm not myself because I don't have my gloves!

Oh. Well, I have an extra pair in my purse

if you want to borrow mine.

What are these?

Pearls.

- Pretty, huh? - I can't wear these!

I've gotta get my gloves back.

Ooh, maybe Daffy will want these.

They'll match his necklace.

Eh, can I help you?

This isn't the parking lot.

I've gotta get my gloves back.

These are all baby names.

I don't want people thinking I'm a baby.

They're not just for babies.

That's usually when people get their names.

Let me see. What about John?

John? John Duck?

That sounds like jaundice!

Like I'm all yellow and sickly.

How about William?

William? Willie?

Silly-Willie-daffa-dillie?

Who would say that?

All the kids on the playground.

What playground are you on?

I don't know why you're making such a big deal

out of your name, anyway.

Easy for you to say!

You don't know what it's like to have your name

be a source of ridicule and embarrassment.

You've got it easy! Your name's Porky--

Well, you'd make a good John.

John pig.

Strong.

Oh, there's my political science teacher.

Professor Johnson!

Professor.

Professor Duck.

You've got to respect that.

I'm afraid we don't carry white gloves for men anymore.

What? Why?

Well, because it's not the 1800s.

But I need them!

We can special order them, but it might take a while.

Do you have any other gloves? I really need a pair of gloves!

Well, it's summer, so we don't have that many options.

Just get me a pair of gloves!

Where are the fingers?

It's all they had.

Now, thanks to you, I'm this guy.

Daffy, where's the remote?

Daffy. Hello, Daffy!

Ohoh, I'm sorry. Were you talking to me?

Because if you were, my name's not Daffy.

Check this out.

You got a wallet?

Not that. This.

- Porky's credit card? - What?

No, not that. This.

Professor Duck?

I changed my name.

Daffy, Professor is not a name.

It's a title-- that you have to earn!

I did earn it. By going down to the courthouse

and paying 14 bucks.

Well, I used Porky's credit card. So what do you think?

I think I'm gonna get a tattoo.

What? Why?

I don't know. I just feel like it.

Sorry if that hurts.

I didn't know you started.

Thanks for driving me to class.

I didn't know how I was going to get the cake there in one piece.

Who's it for?

My teacher.

Each tier represents a branch of government.

This tier represents the legislative branch,

this tier is executive branch,

and this is the judiciary branch.

Again. We have nothing in common.

Professor Johnson!

I've got a surprise for you.

Is it another cake that somehow represents

whatever we talked about in the last class?

The nine gumdrops are the supreme court justices.

Even their gavels are edible.

Ooh, I better get inside

before someone gets the seat closest to your desk.

Oh, thanks for the ride, Professor!

- You're a Professor. - That's what they call me.

How would you like to take over my class?

- What? - That pig is driving me crazy.

Please! There are only a few classes left.

All you've got to do is follow the lesson plan.

You'll figure it out. You're a Professor.

Professor Johnson!

Don't forget about our pop quiz today!

I'm begging you.

Beat it. You're in my chair.

- But I was just-- - Leaving.

Ain't nobody heard of service around here?

Hey, senor Bunny!

What's with the shouting and the double negatives?

Cool it, pops.

I'm just blowing off some steam.

Pops?! Who you calling pops?

Just bring me a slice, old man.

I'm not bringing you anything.

You know what, get out of here.

I reserve the right to refuse service to anybody.

I don't want your stupid pizza anyway!

Hey, watch where you're a'goin'!

Or what?

Uh... nthin'.

Anyone else?

That's what I thought!

Huh? What?