Bob Hearts Abishola

Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola...

We have a 50-year-old male,

chest pains, labored breathing!

Pretty.

Huh?

- You look like an angel. - Ah.

So, what happened?

You had three stents put in.

- Is that a lot? - For a man your size, no.

Would you mind showing me your socks?

Huh?

Socks are my business. Let me see.

Narvanis RD-75s.

That's a shame.

What is wrong with them?

Oh, they're made on the cheap in Vietnam.

One wash, they get all droopy in the top band.

So yours are better?

The Canadian Association of Chiropodists thinks so.

I'll get you a couple of pairs. You'll see.

May I help you?

Yes, I'm looking for Abishola.

Oh, I'm sorry. Abishola is sleeping.

She worked very late.

What do you want with Abishola?

- Hi. - Hello.

I promised you the best-made socks in the world,

and I am a man who keeps his promises.

- Thank you. - So, uh, anyway, is, uh, today,

like, a day off for you?

Yes. Goodbye.

"MaxDot Therapeutic Hosiery.

Robert J. Wheeler, president."

Hmm. "Therapeutic hosiery." Mm.

Very fancy.

He was actually quite nice.

He said he didn't want to be a bother

and, if I changed my mind,

"the ball is in my court."

- Oh, like in basketball. - Mm.

No, no, it's tennis.

Have you seen how big this man is?

He does not play tennis.

It's just a saying.

- What is? - "The ball in your court."

It means she can call him.

Well, I'm not calling anybody.

I have work, I have school,

I have my son.

I have no time for balls.

Well, there goes the second date.

What?

Oh. Shame on you.

I don't understand why you can't have a little fun with this guy.

What is it with you people and fun?

- "You people"? - Americans.

Oh. Well, I'll give you that.

Anyway, she has no time for fun.

Let's talk about marriage.

- I already have a husband. - Ah.

You haven't seen him in, what, six, seven years?

- Eight. - Well, then, technically,

he's dead.

Just think about how good

your life would be if you married the president

of a therapeutic hosiery company.

You sound just like my auntie and uncle.

Trust me, this a good match.

He could pay off your student loans,

put Dele in a private school

and then, because you have filled his life with love,

he could buy Tunde and me a brand-new Ford F-150.

With turbocharge.

If you don't mind, can we please change the subject?

- Sure. - Okay, fine.

You ever slept with a white guy?

I thought we were changing the subject.

I thought so, too.

Okay, well,

I've never been with anybody but my husband.

Who is dead!

The thing you need to know about white men is they're very insecure

'cause of the whole black guy thing.

Yes. They work very hard to make sure

that you're having a pleasant time.

So if you want to get any sleep,

- you have to compliment 'em. - Mm-hmm.

Like "Good job, Steven.

Ooh, you hit the spot."

Okay, I'm going back to work.

- Man, that girl is wrapped real tight. - Eh.

She's a good Christian woman.

I'm sure you remember what that's like.

Mm-hmm. So, you been going to church

with Steven the Spot-Hitter?

Any more chin chin?

You've had enough.

I am still hungry.

I'll cook you some pounded yam when we get home.

Or we could stop at Wendy's.

There! That's him.

Oh, that is a nice car.

Cadillac.

The car Elvis drove.

You think it is a lease?

If he's a smart businessman, it is.

Yes.

Tax-deductible.

Look at all the cars in the parking lot.

These are all his employees.

Their cars are not as nice.

Proving he is a smart businessman.

Yes, this will be a fine marriage for my niece.

For all of us.

Goes without saying.

We are a package deal.

You're in my spot!

Oh, I-I'm very sorry!

Go, go.

Have a nice day!

Oh, God, I hate my life.

Mom.

It's open.

You getting ready for open mic night?

You know what today is.

I do.

Exactly 25 years ago,

your father suffered a massive heart attack

and dropped dead on the loading dock.

Wow. 25 years.

Hey, what was he doing down on the loading dock anyway?

Oh, you should've seen it.

The truck driver lost the manifest,

so there was no way to check the shipment.

And your old man laid into that guy,

screaming and yelling.

And then his eyes rolled back in his head,

and he went straight up to heaven.

Yeah, I'm sorry I missed it.

Mom, don't you think his ashes should be at home?

This is his home.

This business that he built with his blood, sweat and tears.

- I get it. - Do you?

'Cause I don't see you screaming at anybody.

Hey, I just had my own heart attack.

Good point. Credit where credit's due.

- Yeah. - What's going on?

It's the anniversary of Dad's heart attack.

Is that something we celebrate?

Mom does.

Okay. Well...

call me when you cut the cake.

Hey, uh, I should get back to work.

Say goodbye to Daddy.

Goodbye, Dad.

Goodbye, son.

Okay.

Bob.

Bob, you got a second?

Yeah. What's up?

We got a little problem.

Is it about how badly you stink of weed?

Sorry. Cashmere sweater.

Really holds on to the smoke.

What's your problem?

I need my name painted on my parking space.

That's what you need, huh?

It's a small thing, but it connotes respect.

Oh, it connotes respect.

Mm-hmm.

You know what, how 'bout we cut your friggin' head off,

stick it on a pole near your parking spot

and see if that connotes respect?!

Just like his father.

"Connote."

I had so many chances to kill him

as a child.

You're listening to 91.5,

Detroit's number one easy listening station.

Here's America's "A Horse with No Name."

Nope.

What the...?

What are you doing? Drive!

Ooh!

What do you want with Abishola?

No.

Uh-oh.

- What? - The sock man is following us.

Oh, no.

What do we do?

Punch it!

_

I think we are okay.

I don't think so.

Shh.