Baywatch

-CUT THE SIRENS! TURN THEM OFF! TURN THEM OFF!

AND BRING ME SOME BLANKETS!

-HEY, IT'S GILLY. -YEAH.

-I'M NOT GIVING THIS GUY MOUTH-TO-MOUTH.

-SHE'S BLEEDING. IT'S THE GILL NETS CUTTING INTO HER NECK.

-AREN'T THESE GUYS BITES LIKE TOXIC OR SOMETHING?

JUST GET BEHIND HER.

-I'M NOT REAL THRILLED WITH THAT END EITHER.

-WE GOT TO GET BETWEEN HER AND THE WATER.

SHE MIGHT BE GOING INTO SHOCK.

IT'S OKAY, GILLY. IT'S OKAY, SWEETIE.

STAY STILL, WE'RE NOT GOING TO HURT YOU.

HEY, GILLY. HOW YOU DOING?

STAY STILL, HONEY.

YOU GUYS, BE CAREFUL.

-WE'RE NOT GOING TO HURT YOU, OKAY?

GET BEHIND HER. GET BEHIND HER.

WHICH SIDE IS BEHIND HER?

-OKAY, NOW, ON THREE WE'RE GONNA DO IT, OKAY?

ON THREE. ONE...

BE CAREFUL.

TWO, THREE!

-OH, JEEZ! GREAT, WHAT DO WE DO WITH HER NOW?

-MITCH, YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THIS. -YEAH, I KNOW. GOOD MORNING.

DAD, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

ALL KINDS OF STUFF BEEN GOING ON THIS MORNING.

-TRUCK BROKE DOWN AGAIN, I HAD TO HAVE IT TOWED.

WHAT'S ALL THIS?

-STEVIE'S UNCLE WORKS FOR THIS COMPANY

THAT CAN GET ME ALL THIS HOCKEY GEAR WHOLESALE.

WITH THE SKATES AND EVERYTHING, IT'S ONLY 482 BUCKS.

-HOCKEY'S GONNA HAVE TO WAIT FOR AWHILE.

BUT YOU PROMISED.

YEAH, I KNOW I PROMISED,

BUT WE JUST DON'T HAVE THE MONEY.

-MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE TAKEN THAT PROMOTION.

HEY, HOBIE.

MAYBE NEXT MONTH, HUH?

SURE, DAD.

-HEY, UH, MITCH I COULDN'T HELP OVERHEARING,

AND I THINK I HAVE THE SOLUTION TO YOUR FINANCIAL PROBLEMS.

-WHATEVER IT IS, THE ANSWER'S NO.

SPONSOR A BIKINI CONTEST.

NO.

-OH, COME ON, IT'S A MAJOR RETURN ON A MINOR INVESTMENT.

NO!

I DON'T EVEN HAVE ENOUGH MONEY

TO INVEST IN REPAIRING MY TRUCK.

-YEAH, BUT A BIKINI CONTEST WOULD--

FREEZE, MILLER.

NO CONTEST, THE ONE ON THE LEFT.

EXCELLENT CHOICE, CAPTAIN.

TOUGH CALL. EXCELLENT CHOICE.

LAST MONTH, IT'S THE PLUMBING.

THIS MONTH IT'S MY TRUCK.

-YOU SHOULD'VE TAKEN THAT PROMOTION, MITCH.

-WHAT IS IT WITH EVERYBODY AND THIS PROMOTION?

ALL I NEED'S A LITTLE EXTRA CASH.

-HOW ABOUT A COUPLE HUNDRED BUCKS?

-I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. I CAN'T BORROW FROM YOU.

-GOOD, BECAUSE I CAN'T LEND IT TO YOU.

BUT THERE'S A PRIVATE PARTY AT THE MALIBU COLONY THIS WEEK.

THEY WANT TO HIRE A COUPLE OFF-DUTY LIFEGUARDS.

I'VE ALREADY MENTIONED IT TO EDDIE.

I'LL TAKE IT.

YOU GOT IT.

-WE FIRST SPOTTED HER OFF THE BELL BUOY

WHEN SHE WAS JUST A PUP.

SHE HAD THIS, THIS GILL NET STUCK

AROUND HER NECK SO WE STARTED CALLING HER GILLY.

BUT WE COULD NEVER GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO GET IT OFF OF HER.

AND THE MORE SHE GREW, THE MORE IT JUST SLICED INTO HER NECK.

-SHE KNEW WHEN IT WAS TIME TO GET HELP.

-YEAH, BUT SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO.

WHY DO THEY KEEP USING THESE THINGS? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

-BECAUSE FISHERMAN DON'T SEE THE RESULTS

OF WHAT THEY DO TO SEA LIONS AND DOLPHINS.

-WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD GET THE PRESS DOWN HERE.

-UNFORTUNATELY, AFTER SATURDAY, THERE WON'T BE

A DOWN HERE HERE.

WHY NOT?

MONEY.

HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED?

-I NEED $50,000 BY 6:00 PM SATURDAY OR ELSE

WE GET TORN DOWN WITH THE REST OF THIS PLACE

WHEN THEY START BUILDING OCEAN VIEW CONDOS.

-HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT MAYBE ORGANIZING

SOME FUNDRAISERS OR SOMETHING?

-WITH ALL THE NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATIONS

THAT NEED MONEY, COME ON, SHAUNI.

FACE IT, SAVING SEA MAMMALS IS NOT PEOPLE'S TOP PRIORITY.

-WELL, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH THE

INJURED ANIMALS IF ORCAS CLOSES DOWN?

-SEA LIFE PARK IN SAN DIEGO IS THE CLOSEST FACILITY.

-THAT'S OVER A HUNDRED MILES AWAY.

THOSE ANIMALS AREN'T GOING TO MAKE IT TRAVELING THAT FAR.

-LOOK AT LEAST WE'RE HERE UNTIL SATURDAY, AND HOPEFULLY,

THAT WILL BE ENOUGH TIME FOR GILLY TO MAKE IT.

AHH! HEY!

-WELL, I REALLY DON'T SPEAK ITALIAN,

BUT IN FILM, WORDS DON'T REALLY MATTER, DO THEY?

ISN'T SHE WONDERFUL?

DITA, BABY! TERRIFIC PARTY!

-MARTY, YOU'RE LOOKING UH, GOOD, THAT'S IT.

LITTLE FURTHER.

DON'T FALL! DON'T FALL.

OKAY. OKAY.

HEY!

-THIS PLACE IS ONE BIG ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

-EXCUSE ME, I DON'T THINK IT'S A REAL GOOD IDEA

TO GO SWIMMING RIGHT NOW.

I NEVER LISTEN TO IDEA MEN.

LOOK, I'D RATHER STOP YOU NOW

THAN HAVE TO SAVE YOU FROM DROWNING.

- SON, WITH ALL THE SHARKS

AND BARRACUDAS AT THIS PARTY,

IT'S MORE THAN LIKELY I'LL HAVE MY ARMS AND LEGS

CHEWED OFF BEFORE I DROWN.

WHOA! WHOA! I GOT YOU.

I THINK I'LL SIT DOWN.

OK.

HELLO, MY DARLING.

HEY! HEY! HEY!

WHAT IS WITH YOU? KEEP YOUR FIRE UNDER CONTROL, WILL YOU?

YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, THANKS.

SURE.

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TWO?

-I'M MITCH BUCHANNON. THIS IS EDDIE KRAMER.

WE'RE THE L.A. COUNTY LIFEGUARDS.

GOOD LORD, THE HIRED HELP.

THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE HERE IS BECAUSE

MY INSURANCE COMPANY REQUIRES IT.

SO DON'T STOP ANYONE FROM HAVING A GOOD TIME,

JUST MAKE SURE NO ONE DROWNS.

-YOUR FRIENDS KEEP DRINKING AND SWIMMING,

BELIEVE ME, SOMEBODY IS GOING TO DROWN.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

THESE AREN'T MY FRIENDS. THIS IS BUSINESS.

SO DON'T GET IN THE WAY, OR YOU'LL BE OUT

THE DOOR IN HALF AN HOUR.

-BETTER CALL YOUR INSURANCE AGENT.

WHY IS THAT?

WE'RE OUT THE DOOR NOW.

ALL RIGHT, HAVE IT YOUR WAY.

DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU PEOPLE DO.

JUST DON'T OVERDO IT. FAIR ENOUGH?

OKAY.

-WHEN WE START FILMING THIS IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS,

UH, I PLAY THIS MARTIAL ARTS INSTRUCTOR IN VENICE

WHO'S ACTUALLY A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR.

AND HE KIND OF GETS ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED

WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL STREET MUSICIAN.

BUT YOU SEE, SHE'S ACTUALLY-- -WE DON'T WANT TO GIVE THE PLOT AWAY,

DO WE, DARLING?

LET ME BORROW HIM FOR A FEW MINUTES.

I PROMISE I'LL BRING HIM RIGHT BACK.

EXCUSE US, DEAR.

LARRY, DARLING, CHARM THE PRESS.

ALWAYS CHARM THE PRESS.

BUT NEVER REVEAL TOO MUCH ABOUT YOURSELF

OR YOUR PROJECT, ALL RIGHT?

-WELL, MY NEW FILM COMES OUT IN TWO MONTHS.

AND THIS TIME, I HAVE LINES.

THE COLLEGE OF SIENA--

-VITTORIO, DARLING. I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

-HOW ARE YOU? -I SEE YOU'VE ALREADY MET FERNANDO.

-VITTORIO'S SEEN EVERY ONE OF MY PICTURES.

HE DOESN'T LIKE ONE OF THEM.

-VITTORIO, DARLING, I'D LIKE FOR YOU TO MEET LARRY BROOKS,

THE STAR OF OUR PICTURE.

-IT'S A PLEASURE, SIR. -PLEASURE.

-LARRY, DEAR, THIS IS FERNANDO, YOUR DIRECTOR.

I HOPE YOU LIKE MY PICTURES.

-I ADMIRE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM, SIR.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO WORK IN ITALY.

DON'T MIND IF I DO. THANK YOU.

THIS IS TERRIFIC. WHAT IS THIS?

-I THINK IT'S EITHER TOFU OR EEL.

- -HI.