Y: The Last Man

Good find.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with a pen,

but, uh, good effort.

You want to trade?

Hey, give me that.

‐(chitters) ‐Yeah.

Yeah.

You want to see what I can do with this?

Here you go, buddy. Take it.

Hey, stay close.

Huh.

Okay.

Shit.

Fuck.

Holy shit.

You okay?

Deep breath. Tighten. Pinch.

Say it.

Deep breath. Tighten. Pinch.

Good. Now I move my right arm as hard as I can

toward the opposite shoulder, like this,

and then my arm goes up and over my head.

So it goes up and over my head.

So...

Up and over my head.

You're stuck, aren't you?

You know what? Actually...

I haven't worked these straps before.

‐Your face is really red. ‐Yeah, it's a performance.

Stage craft. You make them believe it's impossible.

‐(monkey chittering) ‐(exhales sharply)

Yo, back off. He bites.

Shit.

‐Fuck. ‐Are you okay?

: Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. It's a...

‐It's a part of it, you know. ‐Yeah.

‐(knocking) ‐MAN: Yorick, you in there?

‐Should I get that? ‐No, no, no, no, no.

‐Just shut the fuck up. ‐MAN: I have Beth's check.

I need yours in an hour, or I'm calling your mom.

Who was that?

: It's nothing. Don't worry about it.

Huh?

Up and over, right?

Huh? See?

It's okay. You can clap. He can't hear anymore.

Oh, these straps...

My dad says this has to be my last lesson.

Wait. What? Why?

He said we're not getting our money's worth.

I taught you how to get out of NYPD cuffs, dude.

He wanted me to learn card tricks.

I'll teach you card tricks then.

If you want to be like every other asshole on the planet.

‐He found a camp. ‐Dude.

I'm going to it this summer.

You can go to magic camp?

I'm sorry, man.

Oh, my God. Your dad's a dick.

Well, I am sorry, but it's true, okay. You're old enough to...

Um... all right, well,

we still got 20 minutes, so...

Your turn. Come on. Let's make it count.

You could have been one of the greats, Fred.

Now, we'll never know.

Yeah, I just left him. He was with his aide.

Cut the ordinal adverbs.

"Firstly, secondly."

Makes me seem like a schoolteacher.

You have the committee at noon.

I'll have the briefing books in your office.

"The president was asked about Representative Brown's

"legislative agenda which links Internet hate speech

to a rise in domestic terrorism..."

‐Let me guess. ‐He's whining

about the First Amendment

‐and calling for... ‐Unity. Yes.

Let's all join hands with the psychotics of America.

He just doesn't like that it's coming from you.

You want to add a paragraph

to the end of the speech? Hit him where it hurts?

Is there press in the rotunda?

Yeah, Andrew and Nick fishing for comments.

Grab them for me. I'll give them two minutes.

We're about to have a lot of incoming calls.

I'll have the dress

for the First Lady's party waiting in your office.

And Yorick's landlord called.

I'm gonna kill him.

There's a nail place across the street. Ask for Ashley.

Tell her you work for me. She'll touch those up.

Oh, that's okay, I'll‐I'll just go after work. I...

Give him hell.

Be back in an hour.

My nails are chipped. I didn't realize she's...

You represent her,

and they've been picking her apart for 20 years. Go.

And thank you for having me.

Okay, so, right there on the subway,

I whispered in his ear that I'd suck his dick till tomorrow.

He looked at me like I was a serial killer.

When does this get more fun?

‐(vibrating continues) ‐Are you fucking serious?

I used to have so much fun when I was fucked‐up,

you know, before it got scary.

‐Who's calling you? ‐(whispers): I don't know.

Do you need to get that?

Sorry. Go ahead.

‐Anyway, I, um... ‐HERO: It's my brother.

‐(laughs softly) ‐I thought about you guys.

You know, I thought about this room.

After I'd stopped thinking about dick.

‐(phone vibrating) ‐(whispers): Dude.

No. I, um...

Sometimes, I‐I still want to feel like...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Anything is possible,

‐but, uh... ‐HERO: Yeah, what do you want?

‐...I think this is better. ‐HERO: Couldn't it wait?

‐What is wrong with you? ‐How's this?

Fun? You making friends?

Fucking sucks.

Two more, and I am free.

Ah, you should stop smoking.

‐But why? ‐Hmm.

I need some money.

Get the fuck out of here.

‐No, it's just‐just... ‐No. Seriously, fuck off.

Just, like, a hundred bucks or something. Can you...?

‐You think I have money? ‐Just need to get

some shit for tonight. Can you please let me borrow some cash?

What shit? What's tonight?

Cheese and wine and crackers, like, but nice ones. I'm, uh...

I'm doing it. Tonight.

‐No. ‐Yeah.

I'm telling you no.

‐I thought you liked Beth. ‐Well, I love Beth.

‐Yeah. ‐Beth's great.

Yeah, I know. I bought a ring.

You're broke. You just asked me for money.

No, no, no, Joel found it in Morocco.

It's Bedouin. It's turn of the century...

Joel from the magic shop?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll show you a picture.

I don't want to see it.

No, no, no, it's cool. It's... Where is it?

Mom and Dad still pay your rent, right?

Uh, no.

Yeah, sometimes if I'm, like, low on cash.

You don't know what you want to do with your life.

‐I'm an escape artist. ‐Jesus, Yorick.

Beth loves you, for some reason, but this ends badly,

‐I promise you. ‐Oh, no, no, no, I'm not looking for your blessing.

You can't afford cheese, but you want to marry your girlfriend.

Yeah.

You're keeping a monkey prisoner in a studio.

He's a service animal.

You need to get your shit together.

Okay, you're gonna talk to me about getting my shit together.

‐Okay. ‐Uh‐huh. Yeah, is that what that meeting is in there?

‐Okay! ‐Oh, what, it's, the, uh,

association of responsible adults?

Yup, that's what it is.

Uh‐huh. Yeah, you got a DUI in Manhattan.

Do you know how hard that is to do?

Actually, you know what, in some ways,

‐that's an accomplishment, so... ‐All right. Fine.

‐Mm‐hmm. ‐Don't listen to me. Embarrass yourself.

Okay. Yeah, you know what, Beth loves me

and we're happy and it's a functioning relationship.

And maybe if you didn't hate yourself so fucking much...

: Ah, whatever.

Hey, yo.

They're not gonna sign your sheet

if you miss the whole meeting,

and I'm not coming to another one