Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Tonight, live from ghost planet, it's the first annual

world premiere toon in

with special guests brak, van partible,

lokar, pat ventura,

metallus, Craig mccracken,

black widow, genndy tartakovsky, tansut, and geno mattes.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the council of doom.

* Full of beer!

What the... what, are you insane?

Ok, ok! I hate him.

* Haiku!

* Shorts, shorts!

Shorts!

Tonight's broadcast extravaganza will be simulcast on t.B.S., t.N.T.,

and the cartoon network.

Ok!

And now, your host for the evening... the principal of outer space...

space ghost!

Greetings.

I'm space ghost from coast to coast on the cartoon network.

Welcome to the first annual world premiere toon in.

We're rolling as we speak still? Ok, good.

Tonight, 5 directors from the Hanna barbera cartoon studio will compete

against each other in front of an audience of millions and millions

for a big prize.

Each director will be judged in random categories by the council of doom.

The winner will be the winner... When he wins, and the winning director

will have his cartoon premiered at the end of the show.

Ok. Here to tell you how the votes are tabulated, from the accounting firm

of brice/westinghouse, blip the monkey.

Huh? What are you saying, blip? What are you saying?

I can't understand a word you're saying!

Ok, get the monkey off the stage.

Now let's meet the judges... the council of doom.

Tansut... a vicious alien from the s. K. System.

He likes to mold things out of scalding-hot tar.

Hi, mom. Hi, dad.

Predicate.

Ha ha. Ok.

3-time nascar champion and conqueror of the dust mite planet... brak.

All hail brak!

Hail?

Black widow. And next... mmm. You look really good in those tights, honey.

Ooh, yucky.

Next, metallus... an armored warrior whose mere glance

is enough to strike fear into the hearts of those weaker than he.

He collects fridge magnets and is a champion speed knitter.

And finally, lokar...

a hideous locust who hails from the east.

He enjoys literature and books, and he likes to read colorful pamphlets

to orphans.

- Thank you, space ghost. - I'm esteemed.

Death to lokar.

Oh, please, zorak. Your insipid habit of barking out ludicrous commands

is nothing more than a blatant display of your lack of intelligence.

Oh, thank you, lokar.

That's just about the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Hey, now. You bugs be nice.

Shut up!

All rightie. Who will be our first director?

Dian?

Are we on, or... Ha ha!

Moltar, who's on first?

Who's on second.

- I don't know. - Who's on second?

Right.

Ok.

Have you ever noticed the beautiful lighting in this studio?

Yeah.

The cartoon network's first annual world premiere toon in

will be right back.

What does that mean?

Hey, the world premiere toon in is back.

Uh, what's a toon in?

It's a franchise.

Oh, ok.

The first category is director's composure under extreme interrogation.

Our first contestant is pat ventura.

Tonight's contestants have been briefed on the rules

governing each category.

What you are about to see is real.

- These are not actors. - They're directors.

- - - Welcome, pat.

Well, thank you very much. I hope... what do you do?

I'm a director.

- - - Not yet, you clowns!

Sorry.

Uh... Tell us about your cartoon.

Yuckie duck is a very hapless, uh, character.

He'll try to please, but no one appreciates it.

It's like the world against him.

Everything he touches just fouls up.

Let's look at the clip.

One juicy limburger cheese sandwich coming right up.

P.U.! This stuff smells worse than the back end of a wet moose in spring!

- Clip category. - Council gives...

Tansut... 12.2.

Black widow... 109.

- Brak... hello. - My name is brak.

What is it with you and talking ducks?

Well, being a cartoon character, he just can do anything.

He'll talk, and I guess he talks because we just give him a voice.

You just decide on his voice, just like that?

Uh...

I...

Ok, pat, solve the puzzle.

Wrong. Too many vowels.

Oh, sor... council.

Hmm. Not so good.

Do you sing?

Uh, uh... No, I don't.

Dance?

No, space ghost.

- Don't sing. Don't dance. - What do you do, pat?

I'm a director.

Then direct me.

Well, you can do a cartoon with just... ok, I'm doing a cartoon.

Here we go.

I am a cartoon.

What's my motivation?

- Where am I? - Why am I?

What are the other characters doing?

I guess the characters are doing superhuman feats in themselves.

Liking it.

They're doing feats, and I come in and I say... Uh... talk to me,

pattie, baby.

Hello. And my name is pat ventura.

Hello. And my name is pat ventura.

- Directing category. - Council gives...

Ooh. Sliding.

Well, thanks, pat.

We'll see you at the end of the show.

Thank you, space ghost.

- You're welcome. - My next contestant is van partible.

The wrestler?

No. The director of Johnny bravo.

Hello, citizen part... Hey, do you know Ric flair?

Hmm?

Food! Food!

You have a Danish.

Yes... give me the Danish!

Okey-dokey.

- No, van. - It's a trick. He'll take your whole hand.

No, I doubt it, but it would be funny.

That would be comedy.

Wait a second, Chester.

Blood is not funny.

- Blood is funny. - Van is the winner.

I totally love the ghost planet.

Citizen van, you chose the Danish. Why?

- I have no idea. - It was the only thing there.

It was either a bagel or this cream-cheese frosting thing.

Food selection category.

Council gives... Council would have chosen the bagel.

Bad decision, van.

See, what I'm trying to do is chew and talk at the same time...

- talking-with-your- mouth-full category. - Council gives...

Ooh, van.

Things aren't looking good.

Bad manners are never in vogue.

I guess. It...

- - - Let's look at the clip.

Oh, man.

I dig it when chicks run.

Say, baby, how's about you and I... out of my way, mister.

- - - Get off of me, you son of a handbag.

That ought to teach you a lesson in manners.

Now, that's my kind of woman.

Say, uh, what's the matter, little mama?

Our prize gorilla has escaped from its cage.

Really?

Really.

Enough about you.

Let's talk about me... Johnny bravo.

- Clip category. - Council gives...

You can do better than that, van.

I...

I guess you're a critic.

Yup.

Ok. Ha ha.

We'll be back in 2 and 2.

- - - Only one cartoon will win.

Which one will it be?

Stay tuned to find out.

Oh, goody.

The world premiere toon in franchise is back.

Excited? I am.

Welcome back.

Our next contestant is geno mattes.

Just beamed in from the old enterprise.

Uh, thought I'd say hi.

- Shatner method acting. - Council gives...

Goose eggs.

Ha ha ha!

But you'll have a chance to make that up.

Tell us what you do.

I am a animation director, designer...

On the show shake & flick.

Wrong.

Excuse me, space ghost.