black-ish

Camera "A," mark.

All right, quiet, please. Let's do it.

We're rolling in here! Rolling!

Here we go.

Welcome to "Black-ish." We're rolling in here.

Yo.

Hold on. I looked right into the camera.

Damn it, Tracee! Get it together!

"Hi, I'm Anthony Anderson, and I'm wild."

Y'all hearing wrong

Can I say that on this show?

- Yeah, it's my line. - I've lost my mind.

- Notice when it says "Dre," that's when I say it. - That's when you say it.

Everybody's messing up!

This is gonna be great for the blooper reel.

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The mythical and majestic black family

out of their natural habitat and yet still thriving.

They're just... Just amazing.

_

People are loving "Black-ish"

because we're telling truthful stories

as honestly as we can.

- You got to keep it real. - Keep it real.

I think the subject matter is relevant, it's current.

All this coming from Omni-colored-complexion,

whatever-it-is-they're-calling-it-today woman

who technically isn't even really black?

Okay, well, if I'm not really black,

then could somebody please tell my hair and my ass?

They also love just how crazy it is.

You thought you killed the baby!

Bam! Oh, he kicked the baby!

So, we don't have any fun at "Black-ish."

That's all we do.

- Obama's the first black president? - What...

You're doing a bang-up job over here.

No, no, no. Hold on a second. Let's explore this.

It shows three generations of one family.

And it's cool to see

the dynamics between each generation.

You knew that Obama was the first black president, right?

I 9-guess. Okay.

Mm-hmm. See what I'm talking about?

We pull from, you know,

what's going on in the world today.

We also pull from our lives.

Smell that?

Mmm! That is my childhood.

To see people of all ages, all ethnicities

responding like, "Oh, my goodness!

I could completely relate to that!"

What do you think, huh?

I think this cow died of natural causes.

This food makes me sad.

You know what? If everybody is so unhappy,

why don't we all just go home without eating?

Yay!

Really?

I'm sorry.

_

Easy, girl. Easy, girl.

Shhh!

We are two crazy people.

Are you horse-whispering me?

Is it working?

I do feel less riled.

On the surface, it seems that Dre is the crazy one...

- Cup! Cup! - Cake! Cake!

Do the Bernie! Come on!

Un-freakin'-believable.

Do the Bernie down the hall!

But in essence, they both are.

Oh, my son's been kidnapped!

It was only a matter of time!

- You have to find him! - Ma'am.

I forgot the thing again.

What's the line?

The good part is that we both are not crazy at the same time.

Big news. I found a way to save Halloween.

Ooh, that's great.

I found a way to save a guy

that was at the bottom of a pool for 20 minutes.

Hmm.

But... but you go. Okay.

- Am I on-camera? - Yes, sir.

Oh, guess I need to know the words.

What are the words?

Opposites attract?

I guess like... Like magnets.

You look so sexy when you talk art.

You mean like... Cezanne?

What about Cezanne?

We're such polar opposites, but we are equally nutty,

and that's what keeps us connected.

- He loved to experiment. - With what?

- Muted colors. - Ooh!

I think Anthony and I are pretty cute together.

I mean, I'm just saying.

Your big-ass hair...

It eclipsed everything!

Did it?

Mom and Dad can never know what happened.

Team Johnson.

_

Fiddlesticks, fiddlesticks. "A" mark.

I think the kids are beyond adorable. They're adorbs.

They're all immensely talented.

Smile, Miles.

They're fantastic, they're funny.

Hey, Zoey, I was...

Okay.

I know, right?

Like, she just comes up to me and starts talking.

That's what I have to deal with.

I'm the oldest of the Johnson siblings,

which means there's that kind of power.

I'm Zoey Johnson. I run the social scene here.

She's in charge of her high school, but that's about it.

She loves her phone.

It's like her best friend is her phone.

She's, like, the kind of person

that will make you feel really unsure of yourself.

That's how she gets you.

Just wait until you try Mama's roast turkey.

Who's Mama?

Me! I'm Mama!

Andre... I think he's lovable.

He's very nerdy,

so that's what gets him on his dad's bad side.

Mom said Zach and I

could wear costumes to the new Marvel movie.

Trust me, son, I'm doing you a favor

by not letting you do that.

The way he uses his body is hilarious.

I think he's a comic genius, but don't tell him I said so.

I finally got the coffee order right!

Aah!

So hot! Why?!

And then the two little ones are priceless.

There's only so bad a day can be

when there's little munchkins like that on the set.

Jack and Diane... in a way,

they're the two people who hold our household together.

You're already the most beautiful person

in the world, Mommy.

Aww.

- Except your toes. - What?

Those are jacked up.

She is a little bit quirky,

a little bit sassy, kind of, to her siblings.

Well, look at Jack and say something nice about him.

I'm sorry.

There's just too much baggage between us.

She's not wrong.

Well, Jack is not as smart as Diane, technically.

I forgot to tell you last week,

but Jack and I need two dozen cupcakes for school tomorrow.

Yeah, that's 23 cupcakes.

They mostly get along. They mostly get along.

Unh. Let me stop you right there.

You're boring me.

Miles can talk.

He's also known for his riddles,

many of which are horribly... bad.

They're so bad.

And some are amazing.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Oh, lord.

"Breathe." You get it? You get it?

Because... because the purple grape is...

Can't breathe beca... That's why it's purple,

and the green one is normal.

The kids are great.

They do the heavy lifting,

and Tracee and I, we just come in and bat cleanup.

Hey, guys, we're here at "Black-ish" set,

and we are going to give you a tour,

and here we go.

We're here in the living room,

and this is where we did, um... when we...

"prank king." "Prank king."

When we scared Marcus.

Chair monster!

Chair monster!

Zoey, you see the look on your brother's face?