The Simpsons

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D'oh!

Flanders.

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Hmm.

Maybe we should find a new playground.

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Oh. Well, this looks nice.

Har-har.

Shady trees,

bathrooms with doors

and that loopy-loop slide

dumps you out on soft recycled tires.

Oh, Pirellis.

Oh, look! It's your friend Hudson.

My son seems to really like your daughter.

- Courtney. - Marge.

Is that ironic or retro?

It's my name.

They're having so much fun.

- Is she free for a playdate tomorrow? - Yes.

Has she been in the same room as a peanut recently?

- No. - Can I check off her vaccinations?

TB? DTaP? Measles-mumps-rubella?

Yes, yes, yes.

Breast or bottle?

Bottle, but I'm not a monster.

I can bring cookies.

White sugar. That's hilarious.

I'll have to tell my partner you said that.

Well, I'm gonna tell my partner you mocked white sugar.

See you tomorrow.

Pancakes are on the table, Homie.

And flapjacks will be ready in a few minutes.

Marge, I'm trying to lose weight.

Pancakes will be fine.

Are you sure?

I have to face facts. In some small ways,

I've let myself go.

What's wrong? Who died?

We're worried you will.

We want you to live longer, Dad.

Never what I want.

Fine. You know what, skip the pancakes.

I'll just have...

a grapefruit to go.

I didn't see the moon landing or the fall of the Berlin Wall,

but I did see my father take a grapefruit to go.

Thanks a lot, pal!

You cost us the pennant!

Yeah, right there!

Ah, yesterday's pizza.

I've been dreaming about you, my friend.

While I slept, I said, "Extra large."

But I told my wife I said, "Sexy Marge."

Oh, why didn't I put on my pizza-eating gloves?

Oh...

Where are you, Homer?

Burns just called a staff meeting.

The only seats are next to him.

Oh, God, I need a miracle.

Hey, why don't you bring a balloon to your coworkers?

They're like kites without the hard work.

How long have you been selling balloons?

It's an interesting story.

Helium.

See-through gold.

Symbol, H-E.

He's gone.

My best friend is gone.

I want you to know

that the coworker you thought was Chip Incognito

was actually me undercover.

Sorry I'm late, everybody. Here, have a balloon.

Simpson, Mr. Burns is a Fortune 500 CEO.

- He's not going to... - Quiet, you fool.

Mmm. Pure, uncut helium.

Thanks to birthday balloons, rarer than ever.

Smithers, might I remind you we pay a fortune

for helium to cool our reactors?

Right as always, sir.

That price is sky-high!

Where did you get this?

Oh, the bumpkin I got it from has tons of it.

But I got to warn you...

he has no idea of what it's worth.

Excellent.

How I love a good swindle.

What do you think?

He called on me!

Bah. As for you, Simpson, Employee of the Month.

So, Marge,

I killed it at the staff meeting today.

The key is preparation.

Something amazing has happened to Maggie.

She's in love.

Aw.

If this gets any cuter, I'm gonna bust.

Aw! Ooh!

Aw...!

Cletus, get the dang door!

I can't very well answer the door with an unloaded shotgun,

can I, woman?

Howdy, neighbor.

May I offer you some Manhattan squirrel chowder?

You smell like indoor plumbin'.

Mm. He's onto us.

No need to pretend we're inbred hicks.

No offense, goober.

None taken.

All right, Spuckler, you've got helium, which I want.

I've got what you want,

a tin cup filled with dimes.

Let's make a deal.

Now, hold on.

I likes to have a drink with a feller

beforen I make a busy-ness deal.

I have imbibed every intoxicant

from sweet Yale beer to Flint, Michigan water.

Do your worst.

Absolutely no effect upon my...

Sir, maybe this Spuckler fellow

is a little smarter than we thought.

Nonsense.

Ow!

Hmm. Perhaps it takes an idiot to catch an idiot.

Hello! Could I get a little help?

I dropped my sandwich in here.

You and Mr. Spuckler will enter into what the hoi polloi

called a "friendship,"

then use that friendship to destroy his life

from the inside out.

I don't know. He's got kids.

I can't cheat a family out of their home.

Mm-hmm. But you're perfectly fine

cheating me out of their home.

Oh. You're trying to confuse me.

I got to get out. Where's the trap door?

Save me.

You know Weinstein from Accounting.

If you're confused,

perhaps these two gentlemen can clarify things.

This fellow loves inflicting pain.

And this fellow loves to laugh

while he watches this one produce the pain.

Are you the pain guy or the laugh guy?

Answer the question.

D'oh!

Hello?

Maggie Simpson here for a playdate.

Hudson's on a conference call.

I'll buzz you in.

You have a lovely home.

What is this floor made out of?

The tile was a Venetian church

which we dismantled, shipped over by small boat

and had lovingly installed by a 99-year-old I.M. Pei.

That sounds pricey.

No, the toilet is pricey.

The plumbers we hired to replace it are very inefficient.

Let's go, you little runts.

What? Are your diapers full?

Would you like some coffee as you fill out a sexual history?

Sexual history?

So our babies can be friends?

Here's mine.

All right.

Cream, no sugar.

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So unusual to see a baby with a pacifier these days.

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Your baby has such interesting hair.

You don't mind that I babyproofed your baby

- from my baby, do you? - Yes, I do.

Very much.

Maggie, let's go. Now.

And we're not coming back.

Whatcha doing there, friend?

Good to see you again.

- A-yup. - A-yup.

Nothing like a good "a-yup"

- to put a man at ease. - A-yup.

- A-yup. - A-yup.