Scorpion

Hello, keen viewers.

My name is Walter O'Brien, and you are watching

the seminal episode of Walt's Whiz Kidz.

Now, today, we will be learning the most basic

concepts of physics: acceleration, deceleration,

velocity, gravity,

Newton's laws of motion, thermodynamics, impact force...

What kid besides Ralph is gonna understand all that?

Now we will be doing this via the classic egg drop experiment.

I have already explained the aforementioned concepts

to our Whiz Kidz, who are going to use homemade contraptions

to protect their eggs from a 12-foot drop.

Ready, Whiz Kidz?

Ready!

Okay! Ready!

Okay, let them drop!

Okay, cut, cut, cut.

Why is Ralph the only one getting this?

I told you, it's so simple. You increase

the egg's drag to generate friction,

turning its kinetic energy into heat

to combat gravity, reducing its

acceleration over the longest period of time possible

to reduce the impact when it hits the ground, okay?

Okay, let's try again. Take six.

Wayne, did you just write “gravity”

on your egg and drop it?

Huh?

Everyone just calls him “Meatball”.

You sure you want Walt hosting your public access science show?

Well, I got the funding for it. I can't be the face of it, too.

Conflict of interest.

Yeah, good luck. I got to go.

I got to pick up Allie for a little R, R and R.

What's the extra “R” for?

Romance.

Here you go, mister. Oh, Meatball!

Haven't you ever heard of salmonella?!

Patty, what are you doing?

Taking PR pictures for your reelection campaign.

Reelection? I just had an election.

That was a year ago, and it's a two-year term.

Time to start pounding the pavement.

Already lined up an endorsement meeting

with the powerful library committee,

a photo op at the Warlock's Chest, and

an interview with my old friends at the West Altadenia Shopper.

If I spend all my time campaigning, I won't be able

to advance my anti-bullying platform,

or get funding for my piezoelectric walkway.

You're finally starting to get politics.

My schedule is so full up with aldermanning and Scorpion,

I don't know if I want to run for reelection.

Who cares what you want?

You've cut the town's electric usage

by redesigning street lamps.

You lowered pollution and commute time

by synchronizing traffic lights,

and now you're producing a science show for kids.

You're effective.

And I want to graduate with honors,

and getting a nobody elected twice guarantees it.

- Here's some more. - Oh!

Seriously?!

Thank you for your time today.

Um, my latest chemical endeavor

harnesses the power of the invisible

light spectrum by creating a translucent,

luminescent solar concentrator

that is capable of converting infrared light

into an electrical current...

Stop. Just stop. Investors

are not interested in the science behind your invention.

But then, how will they know what they're investing in?

They're either investing in a winner or loser,

so just show them how they make money.

If you can't explain it to them in one sentence,

then they'll know which of the two they're investing in.

Okay.

Then, with your investment,

I can make translucent solar panels

to replace everyday windows and cut energy bills.

There. Wasn't so hard, was it?

Okay. Thank you for your help.

Not a problem. Good luck.

Oh, if you're looking

for more eggs, we're out.

Yes, that's 'cause Ralph is the only Whiz Kid that I have here.

The rest are useless!

That means they're just regular kids.

Be patient.

You mean, like you were with Florence?

I heard you giving her notes on her investor's speech.

A little harsh.

I was being direct... to help her.

You sure it doesn't have anything to do

with, um... us kissing in my dream?

Wow, what an ego.

For the last time, I am fine with your dream.

It all happened when you were dying,

and Toby told me it wasn't a big deal,

so it'd be illogical for me

to feel anything but okay, right?

Good. Well, in that case, uh, can I ask you a favor?

Mm-hmm. I need eggs.

That's the last of them!

Lots of them.

Not bad.

Not bad at all, Gallo.

You ready for a weekend of no work, no cases, no Scorpion?

Sounds like a plan.

I thought we had the place to ourselves.

So did I.

Then what? A... a prowler?

Wait here.

Don't move, scumbag.

Toby?

Cabe, what are you doing here?

I'm on vacation. What are you doing?

You got to get out of here. Ju-- g-get the hell out of here, man.

Okay, perv, I put it on...

Weekend ruined.

No, no, no! No, no, no!

Don't take it off!

Congratulations, Cabe.

You got her out of that outfit faster than I ever could've.

What are you doing in my lighthouse?

Your lighthouse? We booked this.

I've been talking about bringing Allie to this place for weeks.

No duh. It sounded so good, we booked it, too.

Not for this weekend, you didn't.

It says right here

that it's our lighthouse today, the 22nd.

Well, I got confirmation...

Crap.

The 27th.

Happens to the best of us.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, wait. Can we-we trade the dates?

This weekend's kind of important.

More important than two geniuses populating the Earth

with a superbaby?

Just hear him out.

The mood's already killed.

Are you proud of yourself, Cabe?

She's in normal clothes now.

Normal clothes.

I didn't mean to bust up your Cleopatra/pirate story,

but now that it's over, can you do me a solid?

I was really planning on telling Allie that I'm in love with her.

You haven't told her already?

Assumed you had. You've been going out for months.

I'm old-fashioned.

You're old everything.

The only gal I've ever said those words to is my ex-wife.

I never thought I'd say them to another woman again,

but since I almost went to the slammer,

I'm not gonna hold back anymore.

You are lucky that my old lady has a soft spot for you.

We'll, uh, just take our procreation weekend on the road.

Okay, good. I owe you one.

You know, actually,

maybe you could lend us one of your old FBI jackets.

For, um, reasons.

I get Patty's position, but being an alderman is exhausting.

I mean, I-I haven't played Fantasies & Frolics in weeks.

But I have things that I want to accomplish. Dreams.

Seems everyone has dreams.

Some about their futures, some about their neighbors.

I thought you were okay with Walt's dream.

Toby said it was meaningless.

What the hell?

Let's go. We need to move faster, people.

- Ralph's done already. - Nice camera.

Huge improvement over Johann Zahn's.

Huh? What?

Johann Zahn.

Inventor of the camera.

What about him? I was cropping pictures.

Nothing.

Okay.

You almost finished retrofitting your contraptions?

I didn't do it.

It's a power surge.

Here, stay away from anything plugged in. S-Stay put.

- What's going on? - Our cell network

and Internet are down.

Let's see.

Anyone on?

You got me, Toby, Cabe and Allie.

And you've got Paige and Sly.

What-what are we dealing with?

For starters, Cabe ruined our weekend.

Shut up. There was a flash, now there's no power,

and there's not a light source on the coast.

Whole sky's glowing green.

Is it some kind of attack?

No. The aurora that you're seeing is the northern lights.

The fact that you're seeing it in Southern California

is a sign that we've been hit