The Cosby Show

Aww, Shucks.

Whooo-Hoo-Hoo!

Oh, My Goodness.

Dad, I'm Telling You, This Is Going To Be

The Best Cliff's Ding-Dong, Eight-Alarm Chili

Ever Tasted On The Face Of This Earth.

Why Does It Take You Three Days To Make That Chili?

If You Tasted This The First Day, You'd Say,

"What Can Did This Come Out Of?"

If You Tasted It On The Second Day, You'd Say,

"Oh, My Goodness, Somebody's Grandmother Got Off Her Chair

And Just Took This To The Mountain."

But The Third Day...

Wow, Ha, Ha, Ha.

The Third Day, You Don't Even Have To Taste It.

You Just Walk By The Pot And Someone Says;

"Hey, Come Here."

Sounds Delicious.

It Is, It Is.

Yeah.

All I Have To Do Is Add The Rest Of These Herbs And Spices.

Hey, Hey, Hey, Now This Truly Is Unbelievable.

What's That?

Guess Who's Playing

At The Gaslight Club In The Village?

Slim Claxton And His Trio.

You Mean That Man Who Played The Xylophone, Wrote The Song

"Baby, Don't Step On My Face 'Cause Your Shoes Got Nails"?

That's Right.

Yeah, Yeah.

He Also Did

"Don't Bring Home A Chicken When You Promised Me A Steak."

Yeah, That's Right.

I Met Slim 52 Years Ago In New Orleans.

You're Kidding.

I Try To See Him Whenever He's In Town.

I Still Owe Him Money.

Whenever I Try To Pay Him Back, He Refuses.

I'm Going To Get Him This Time.

I'll Call The Gaslight Club And See If Slim Is Down There Today.

Hi, Vanessa.

Hi, Kenny.

What Are You Doing?

Practicing To Be A Drum Major. There's A Trial At School Tomorrow.

You Can't Be A Drum Major.

Why Not?

Drum Majors Are Boys.

Who Says?

I've Never Seen A Girl Drum Major.

You're Fibbing.

No, He Isn't.

Most Drum Majors Are Boys.

Ha, Ha, I Was Right.

Burned You Bad.

However, Some Girls Got Together At School

And We Decided To Try Out.

Since There Has Never Been A Girl Drum Major At Our School

We Have To Be Great To Get Chosen.

You Girls Shouldn't Be Doing This.

Why Not?

My Brother Says

A Man Doesn't Want To See A Woman Doing A Man's Job

Unless She's Wearing A Bathing Suit.

I'll Go Out For Drum Major And Get It.

That Band Will Be E E E Ing My Sister Down The Field, Bud.

Thank You, Rudy.

Would You Help Me Practice?

Sure.

I'd Ask You To Help, But A Man Can't Do This.

Hold My Cassette Recorder

And Make Sure No Matter Where I'm Marching

You've Got It Pointed At Me.

Let's Hear It For The Band.

Ah, Hon, Pardon Me, One Second.

I Just...

I Don't Mean To Take Anything Away From You

But We Had A Fellow Named Peter Poindexter.

He Was Six-Foot-Four.

And Peter Poindexter Used To Come Out And:

Peter Also Had That Double Step Back To The Side.

I'm Telling You, He Was Mean.

I'm Sorry, Son.

Peter Poindexter Was Good

But He Was A Sad Imitation Of The Greatest Drum Major

Ever To Strut Across A Football Field.

I'm Talking About Tall Walter Lomax--

A Six-Foot, Eight-Inch...

Six-Foot, Eight-Inch?

...Who At Homecoming Game Of 1934

Gave Birth To The World Famous Triple Dip.

But Peter Poindexter--

I Forgot, My Mind Fails Me Sometimes--

Was Actually 6'10".

What He Did

One Day At Half Time Was

He Came Out...

...Threw Both Batons Up Into The Air

Sang The Star-Spangled Banner

Caught The Baton In The Right Hand

On "The Home Of The Brave"

And The Other Hand On "The Land Of The Free"

Because He Sang It Backwards.

I'm Afraid That Is Amateur Hour Compared With Tall Walter.

At Half Time Of A Game

Tall Walker, Who, As I Recall, Was At Least Seven-Foot-One...

...Led The Band Out Onto The Field

With Long Strides That Took Up Ten Yards At A Clip.

Ten Yards To A Stride?

That's Right.

When He Hit Midfield

He Cut A Charleston Step

And Threw His Baton Way Up In The Air.

Just When Everybody Was Waiting For The Baton To Come Down

Walter Led The Band Off The Field.

He Let The Baton Fall On The Ground?

No.

A Week Later,

Tall Walter Led The Band Out Onto The Same Field

And The Baton That He Threw Up In The Air Seven Days Ago

Came Right Down In His Hand.

Grandpa, Is That A True Story?

If I'm Lying, May I Be Hit By A Falling Baton.

Hey, I Ain't Bad!

Who Would Pay $12.50 To Hear That?

Who's Out There Heckling Me?

Do You Remember A Rainy Night In 1936 At The Club L'amour?

Oh, My Goodness, If It Ain't Old Slide!

How You Doing, Slide?

You Look Good.

It's Been Too Long.

Slim, This Is My Son Heathcliff.

How You Doing, Heathcliff?

I've Heard A Lot About You.

Whatever You've Heard

Just Multiply It By 15, Divide It By 16

And Then Ignore It.

A Polite Person Would Invite Us To Sit.

I'll See If I Can Find A Polite Person.

Hey, Y'all, Come On, Sit Down.

Y'all Want A Cup Of Coffee?

You Still Drinking That Special Coffee Of Yours?

Don't You Know It?

Then I Think I'll Pass.

What About You, Heathcliff?

I'll Have A Little.

I'll Pour You Out A Little.

You're Really Going To Like This.

Thank You.

Whoa!

How Do You Like It?

I Can't Get To It.

You Could Get Arrested For That.

Ain't Gonna Bother Me.

Is Claude Powers Still In Your Trio?

Claude Powers?

He's Been Dead Ten Years.

No.

How About Freddy Collins?

He's Dead.

Did You Ever Hear Anything About Choo-Choo Wallace?

Yeah, He's Dead, Too.

What About Skip Logan?

Dead.

How About The Tannen Brothers?

Dead, Dead And Dead.

But There Were Four Of Them.

I Know It--He's Dead, Too.

You Know, Slim, I've Been Reading About You For Years.

You're Out There On Tour, Playing Your Music

Going Strong.

I'm Proud Of You.

That's A Fine Compliment Coming From A Man

Who Plays The Horn

Sweeter Than Gabriel.

I'm Retired Now.

If I Had Your Money

I'd Retire, Too.

No, I Never Made That Much Money.

Nobody Said You Made Money.

They Said You Never

Let Go Of It.

If I Am So Tight, Why Am I About To Hand You

A $100 Bill?

You Remember I Owe You This Money?

I Sure Do--

To Buy Anna Her Wedding Ring.

I Never Told You This, But 51 Years Ago

I Played A Club, And The Owner

Stiffed The Band For A Week's Salary.

I Had No Money To Buy Your Mother A Ring.

Slim Heard It

Came Over To The Hotel To Offer His Condolences.

When He Left

I Found A $100 Bill In My Coat Pocket.

And This Time, You Are Going To Take The Money.

Ain't No Way I'll Take That Money.

I Insist.

You Might Insist