Killbird

No, we're almost done.

Final sequence initiated.

Okay.

Echo Five Sierra November 273.

Alpha Delta 1964

Whiskey Three Foxtrot Two India.

- Yes, that's right. - Okay, three days.

This is a bad idea. You know what they're capable of.

- My brother. - Not my fault.

- They know where you are. - I cover my tracks.

Execute.

Yeah.

It's a fine art, and I'm really good at it.

Of course I'm talking about birding.

It's peaceful.

Look, I need you to understand.

Actions speak louder than words.

Yeah, okay, say what you want.

It's what you do.

No. Look, I never said I wouldn't, but I need you...

Hello?

Hello? Hey, are you there? Can you hear me?

Middle of frigging nowhere.

Hello?

Can I help you?

Yeah. Sorry, I'm just having a little bit of car trouble.

My car stalled and won't even turn over.

Why are you here?

Uh, my car stalled.

What I mean is, no one lives around here.

What, you visiting someone?

Birding.

Birding?

You like birds?

Well, I'm a photographer, freelance.

You know, pays the bills, kind of love it, but not really.

- What kind of birds? - The colorful kind.

Your cell?

Yeah, I mean, I had reception and then I didn't.

You know, comes and goes. So, I just thought that you might have something more stable.

No.

No? Okay. Um, well,

Do you mind if I step inside for a minute and just use your charger?

Because the guys who sold me this phone are total liars.

They told me that I would have reception anywhere I go

with a 12-hour battery, new technology and all that,

total BS when I looked it up.

And then they told me I had the wrong model

and not the newest model.

They told me a hundred lies to cover up the first.

So, 12-hour battery my ass.

It's more like two.

You got a charger, right?

- I don't own a cellphone. - Oh.

Okay. Well, I would kind of go somewhere else, but you're the only game in town.

What game?

It's just an expression.

Never heard of it.

Okay, great. Well, I don't know, maybe you have a neighbor?

I'm going to hitchhike or walk around.

I'll figure it out.

Okay, wait.

No, it's fine, come on.

Sit. Um...

Do you, uh, you want a cup of coffee?

I have instant.

Sure, why not?

I'm Riad.

Taylor.

You, uh, expecting a storm?

Wow, there really is nothing out here, is there?

- It's Oregon. - Sure is.

Hey, you don't know anything about cars, do you?

- Not really. - Shit, that sucks.

Why don't you try your phone?

Yeah.

No service, no charger, no cell.

You got a landline?

Shit, this really is my day.

So what do you do?

- What's it to you? - Just making conversation.

Anyone else live around these parts? Then I can get out of your hair.

Just me.

Well, if you have an hour, maybe you can,

uh, drive me into town?

I could pay you.

- I don't need your money. - Any other suggestions?

I'll be picking up mail in town this afternoon.

I'll drive you in. Someone can help you there.

- This afternoon? - Two hours.

Can't leave any earlier.

Okay.

Well, thank you, and sorry for the inconvenience.

Yeah, it's bad timing.

Yeah.

That looks disgusting.

Simple never goes bad.

You got TV?

Great.

Or you could continue with your birding.

What are you out here looking for?

Pretty birds.

Maybe a pine grosbeak?

Yeah, I know those.

They have blue feathers, yellow beak.

Not even close. They have...

red and orange feathers on the head

and a black beak.

Like this.

Yeah, I've seen those.

What about a kingbird?

No Western kingbirds in these parts.

Yeah, I like birds.

They're interesting, you know.

I see so many out here.

Much more predictable than people.

My favorite is, um, I just read about it, uh, a killbird,

kill something or other.

It, uh, it uses a wounded wing act

to distract predators from its nest.

It plods along the ground holding its wing,

a bird in distress, shrieking in pain.

Predators go in for an easy kill,

but before it knows what's what,

killbird's suddenly all better and flies away.

Tricky.

It's called a killdeer, I think.

Killdeer?

Strange name for a bird.

Yeah.

Cuckoos are my fave.

They're the worst though.

Brooding parasites that lay their eggs

in another bird's nest, usually a poor magpie,

then they get that bird to raise its young.

Some don't even know it until it's too late,

but if the mama bird's smart,

she'll toss the eggs out of the nest,

and then the cuckoo goes on attack, destroys the nest,

the eggs, everything, until the poor little magpie

just gives up and raises its cuckoo bastards.

It's kind of like a bird that works for the mob.

You know your birds.

Stay here.

Anything interesting?

No.

Not really.

So, birding, this like a real job?

Yeah, sort of. It's part-time.

You sell your pictures?

Oh, we try to. It's mostly a hobby.

- What else do you do? - Temp work.

- Temp? - Yeah, you know, secretary,

- domestic services, things like that. - Hmm.

What happens when you quit school, but hey,

my husband makes enough, so whatever.

I just figure I got to do something or I'll lose my mind.

Why don't you go back to school?

You're getting really personal here.

Just want to make sure you're not a crazy person.

Is that why you're asking all the questions?

It's not normal to be out here.

Well, it's not normal to be

living out here.

I got tired of the big city.

I was studying psychology, but I'm no psychiatrist,

and it took me too long to figure that out.

My husband Doug is though.

I was probably infatuated with him.

You know, he's really good at listening to other people's problems

and ignoring everything else in his life, including me.

I guess I'm just something else though.

Like?

Like, I'm creative.

You know? What do you do?

I do nothing.

Well, you're a little young to be retired.

- Taking a vacation. - From what?

Doesn't matter.

Okay.

Well hey, look, um, my car isn't far.

Maybe you've got jumper cables.

- Uh... - You got to have those, right?

No, I already told you.

That you're not a mechanic, I know.

I just thought guys would be good with their

- cars and tools and stuff. - Not me.

Okay.

Okay.

I read birders make good spies.

Are you saying I should become a spy?

Just something I read.

Here, come on, I'll show you.

Sorge, Duchesne, Hari, they're all birders,

to one degree or another.

Hmm. Never heard of them.

Yeah, spies fascinate me.

Sorge, he infiltrated Japan in World War Two,

posing as a journalist.

He uncovered that Japan had no intention