Glitch Techs

We are Zoid. We will smash you to dust.

-Totally gonna block you this time. -Not if you can't see.

-All right, nuggets, five minutes. - We were just gonna beat it.

-Oh, it's broken. What did you do? -I didn't do anything.

Mom!

Now, don't "Mom" me.

You can play more tomorrow. That game's not going anywhere.

We are Zoid.

We will smash you to dust.

I'm with tech support.

Surrender to Zoid. You cannot hope to defeat us.

That's what they all say.

Take that!

Glitch contained.

- -

Hinobi Game Systems apologizes for any inconvenience

this minor glitch may have caused

and will now restore your system's memory.

What did I miss?

We are Zoid. We will smash you to dust.

HQ calling. Come in.

Go for Mitch.

-You finish debugging that Puzzler glitch? -Another flawless victory.

Just be sure to upload all glitches from your gauntlet

when you get back to HQ this time.

Thanks for the strategy tip, boss.

Like I need a walk-through.

Okay, I need a moo shu pork carnita,

two fried rice and beans, and an order of won-tonquitos.

RĂ¡pido, Nieto!

Grinding as fast as I can, Papi!

Ponzu! Chorizo! Tortilla! I choose you!

Player readies for melee.

He sprinkles and unleashes his power combo, the triple chop!

And for the finishing move...

Huh?

Flawless.

Okay, guys, it's me, K. Moon, and today is the day.

The seventh annual Hinobi Smash Tournament is here, and the hype is off the charts.

It's set to be the biggest NS competition yet.

I'm even hearing the company sent exclusive wristbands

to the top-ranked gamers in each city.

So, y'all, can I just say, "If you got one of these things,

I am mega jealous of that sweet, sweet swag.

Okay, so if we're talking competitors,

we gotta talk reigning champ, Mitch Williams.

He'll be defending his title for the fourth year in a row--

Five, you're not burning my frijoles in there, are you?

- -

Phew.

Nursing those trigger fingers?

Sorry, Abuela, I was just--

-Five! Five, you in there? -Five!

We're stuck again.

Ten minutes. Make 'em count, playa.

Thanks, Abuela.

All right, my little rookie game grinders,

you are indeed witnessing the hidden level of Hinobi's 1993 classic, Chomp Kitty.

What? You heard it was impossible? Too much game to tame?

Well, as long as you feed this cat enough power pellets,

you can use pattern recognition. Boom!

Endless repetition. Zoom.

And your own ambition. Va-da-ba-da-voom.

-To make the impossible possible. -

Five, you're the best.

My brother, he said you got one of those bracelets from Hinobi.

You gonna be in that tournament today, Five? You'd dominate!

Come on, you guys know my grandparents need me here.

-If I left, who would cook? -Oye, Five!

-Bring yourself back in here! -Ooh, sorry, Papi. I was in the zone!

Va-da-ba-do-do-do.

Huh? You shut the fryer off?

Found this on the floor. Has your name on it.

That? Oh, that's nothing.

-Sure seems like something. -We looked online.

Says only the best gamers in the city get these.

Says first prize is a job at the Hinobi Game Store.

I'd think you'd want an opportunity like that, yeah?

Of course I would, but the game's today and I gotta work.

Besides, even if I won, you guys can't afford to replace me, so--

That's not your problem.

-All you gotta do is play your heart out. - Really?

You guys mean it? You'd leave work to take me to the game?

Hey, who needs to leave? We'll take our work with us!

But this truck hasn't moved since before I was born!

It's only a few miles. We can still make it!

- Hinobi, here we come! - Whoo-hoo!

Yeah! Perfect! Perfect! You're a legend!

I am a legend.

Can't you play in the living room, Miko?

You see this?

This means your big sis is gonna wreck a bunch of fools today.

I'm invincible!

- -What?

Mom says come to breakfast before you shake the house apart.

You can pull the plug on my TV, but you can't pull the plug on destiny!

- Pass the milk! - Get it yourself.

- -

Did you eat all of the cereal?

-You're the worst. - I am.

Two minutes to minivan. Phones off, shoes on. No ifs, ands or--

Miko, what are you wearing? I bought you a blouse at Bullseye.

Mom! It's my good luck shirt. For the Hinobi Smash Tournament today.

What is she talking about? What are you talking about?

I posted a note about this on the busy board a month ago!

I'm showing Geoffery's ballet recital, Lexi's hockey playoff,

Nika's science fair soft open, Lee's preschool parade,

and... huh? What exactly is Hinobi Smash?

It's an exclusive game competition.

Sorry, kiddo. We've got a full day ahead and won't have time to--

But you guys wouldn't even have to drive me there.

I can just log into the game from home!

You spend enough time in front of that screen already, young lady.

Now, get changed. We have a lot of events today.

You're taking everyone else to do the stuff they like, but not me?

-That's not fair! -

Okay, that's time! I want butts in belts people!

Din, din. Do it now, do it now!

Tell you what. You can have a little extra game time tomorrow.

Okay, kiddo?

Gang's all here. Let's go!

Miko, it was very irresponsible of you

to bail on family day.

What do you have to say for yourself?

I say you're looking at a first place champion, Mom and Dad!

Whoo!

Oye, muchachos! Who's hungry?

Oh, man. Look at all those people.

Oh, nerds, oh, nerds, oh, nerds.

Get out of that head, you.

I swear, you're gonna get lost in there one day,

and I'm not gonna be able to get you out!

Eh, just have fun. Try not to think too hard.

We are coming at you live

from the Hinobi Store located in the Bailley Square Mall,

bringing you this year's Nobi Smash challenge,

sponsored by Hinobi Games and Buzzcore Beverages.

And guess who's out there, pumpin' up this crowd.

They know him. They grew up with him.

Nobi, the Hinobi Honeybee!

Man, that thing creeps me out.

Uh, hi. Sorry, do you work here?

No, I just make it a point to accessorize all my button-downs

with manager name tags.

I, uh, have this?

Whoa! He's the missing player.

Took your sweet time logging in, didn't you?

Great. Let's incite this riot.

Give it up for High Five!

All eyes on you, champ.

Okay, we're doing standard competition rule set.

You'll be playing on a new map designed specifically for this tournament.

So no outside communication is permitted in play,

and there will be absolutely no respawns. Any questions?

Did you just say no respawns?

Yep. If you're out, you're out.

So don't get nauseous, faint or freak out, and you should do just fine.

Whoa!

This is amazing!

Mitch Williams? Is everyone seeing this?

I'm meeting Mitch Williams!

I can't believe it. I learned so much from watching your Let's Play videos.

Thanks.

We'll be ready to start once our remote players finish logging in!

Here comes one now!

I am ME_K.O.! Join me or die!

In my chipmunk boy band.

Hey, who disabled the voice filter?

-I'm okay. -Whoa!

You're ME_K.O., aren't you?

Yeah! And you are... Hi_5?

Do I know that gamer tag?

- Defeated by ME_K.O.! -

- Sniped by ME_K.O.! -

Obliterated by ME_K.O.!

Aw, come on!

Nope.

Oh, nerds.

Relax, bro.

No matter what happens out there, we're all gamers.

Thanks.

Three, two, one!

Smash!