Mad Love

When you start dating someone new,

the temptation is to act like someone you're not.

What a fun elevator ride. - I know.

I wish you worked on a higher floor.

I don't feel like going back to work.

For instance, Ben is not a guy who skips work.

Ever.

Wait.

When I was a kid,

you know what I used to do on ditch days?

Chores?

Sorry, I grew up on a farm.

I used to go to Coney island.

Ever been?

Never. Are you offering?

Are Nathan's famous hot dogs famous?

I don't see why the man would lie.

Let's do it.

Let's just go.

So you just blew off the rest of the day

and went to Coney island?

I love islands.

It was really fun.

Until I threw up all over Ben.

By the way, if you're wondering how many hot dogs

you can eat before you ride the scrambler,

the answer is not three.

Has anyone seen my black folder?

Seriously, you're using my book proposal as a place mat?

Relax, the editor is gonna love you.

I really want you to sell this book.

But I don't want to have to interview a new nanny,

because then you have this strange person in your house

with weird hair and bad clothes.

I thought you said I was the only nanny you interviewed.

Did I?

I just don't want Ben to think that I'm a drag.

Oh, good, we're back on your thing.

I mean, I'm the fun one.

I'm the one who makes people barf.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

I am so excited about your meeting.

I'll tell you what, tonight when you're done,

we'll go get a drink to celebrate.

Great, but right now I need to split a cab,

'cause the publisher's in your building.

Why don't we just take my car?

Because you are staying here

and taking care of your kids, remember?

No, that doesn't ring a bell.

Tiffany, come on. This is a really important day.

And I really need to concentrate.

I'll stay at reception. You won't even know we're there.

Unless there's a poopy diaper. Keep your phone on.

Esteemed colleagues, distinguished guests,

fellow members of the Manhattan attorney's association...

or as I like to call it...

MAA.

What draws us to the law?

Well, I think it comes from a sense of duty.

Duty, ha!

Larry, how is that still funny?

Okay, maybe it's a little funny.

All right, come on, come on.

This is a big deal, all right?

The firm picks one associate each year

to speak about pro-bono work.

And this year, they picked me.

Yeah, I don't know what you're worried about, man.

You're going on after Waterman.

Anybody will look good after Waterman.

Hey, Waterman.

I can't wait for that speech tonight, man.

Thanks, I'll be speaking about the...

Oh, no, no. Shh, don't you dare spoil it.

Anyway, I'm not worried.

I think my speech is good.

Oh, you gonna use my pro-boner joke?

Um...I'm just worried it's too funny.

Oh, okay, so no jokes whatsoever?

Look, just be at the Emory hotel at 5:00,

and prepare to have your mind blown.

Hello?

There is a woman downstairs, wondering if she could

steal you away for a secret, spontaneous surprise?

I'm the woman. It's Kate.

Kate...Kate. I'm...Phew!

I'm sorry, I'm drawing a blank.

I know you've got your big speech later.

But this will just take an hour.

It might relax you.

What is it, noon?

Sure.

I could definitely spare an hour.

Skipping out for a little while on a light day

was one thing, but Ben agreeing to go anywhere

five hours before the biggest speech of his life...

Unheard of.

Now, the problem with acting like someone you're not

is eventually it will blow up in your face.

Oh, my God! What the hell happened to you?

It's kind of a long story.

Ka-boom!

"Mad Love: S01E10" "The Young and the Reckless" Original air date 25 April, 2011

So Ben showed up with 15 minutes until

the biggest speech of his career.

So this was Kate's surprise?

She beat you up and took your pants?

The suit? - Yeah, yeah, it's all in there.

Okay, it's not a peep show buddy, keep it movin'.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Come back here, I need you.

Thank you.

Hi.

You know what, let's take this to the men's room.

You can tell me what happened.

You know, I don't really feel like talking about it, Larry.

You have to ask Kate.

Now it so happened that at the very same moment,

Kate was having the very same conversation.

I really don't feel like talking about it, okay, Connie?

If you don't feel like talking

then let me tell you what happened to me today.

All I wanted to do was take him

on the Staten island ferry.

Which was fine.

When they got to Staten island,

Ben had over four hours until his speech.

I never realized the Statue of Liberty had such a good body.

Well, now we have kissed in two boroughs.

Should we head to the Bronx?

Actually, there's this place down the street that has,

like, the best pizza.

Unless you have to get back for your speech?

Uh...No!

No, I think I have a little more time.

What the hell, let's grab a slice.

- Great. - Who are you?

Hoppin' on ferries to Staten island

in the middle of the work day?

First of all, I do stuff like that all the time.

You never do. Go on.

And second, yesterday, Kate was so excited to find out

that I was as spontaneous as she is,

that maybe I didn't want to disappoint her.

That is a slippery slope, my friend.

You start letting women drag you around like that,

pretty soon they think you're one of those guys that

"does stuff," and "goes to things."

And another piece of the "Larry is single" puzzle

slides into place.

That's funny, actually, you should mention my being single.

Because my dream relationship

took a huge step forward today.

Oh, God. - Not with her.

Ugh.

I hoped I wasn't gonna run into you,

but I guess if we're in the same zip code it's unavoidable.

Oh, the babies are a nice touch.

Hide your cheerios.

Ha-ha, if you're looking for Kate, she's with Ben.

I'm not looking for Kate. I have a... nothing.

Oh, you've got a nothing?

I thought you usually reserved your nothings

for Saturday nights.

Not that it's any of your business,

but I actually have a meeting at a publishing house

about writing a children's book.

You're writing a children's book?

That's hilarious.

You know, because you're so unpleasant.

Ah, here's Tiffany now.

Oh, hi, Larry.

Hi, Tiff.

I told the cop we'd only be parked there a while.

It was weird... after you left, he was so much nicer.

So Larry, are you coming with us?

I don't know. Are you inviting me?

Are you good with kids?

Are the wiggles kinda creepy? - Yes.

Both:

I'm sure Larry has better things to do

than to hang out with a happily married

mother of two children who I work for?

Nope. Nope, I'm in.

And also, I believe it's "whom."

But you're the writer, so...

Après you.

You should have seen me, man.

I was on fire.

- You should have seen him. He was revolting.

- Oh, come on. Larry just likes to flirt.

I'm sure he doesn't think anything

is gonna happen with Tiffany.

- I might just marry this woman.

I think she's already married.

So was I, once.

No, you weren't.

But I tell women that sometimes.

Makes them think I can commit.

And another piece of the puzzle.