Texas

Quiet, folks.

I hereby christen you Windy Miller. Look out for your eyes.

- Al, where is Windy? - I haven't seen him since last night.

Anybody here seen him?

- No! - Look out!

Put it up over the lights.

- Little previous, ain't you, Jim? - It won't be long, brother.

You did?

- You got anything to say, Bud? - Sure, I'm guilty, Judge.

I've been away so long from towns and people, I just didn't know what I was doing.

I was with Sherman down in Georgia.

- How long's this fella been in jail? - Since this morning, Your Honour.

- What time this morning? - 3:00, I reckon.

3:00?

2:30.

I sentence you to 11 and a half hours in jail.

Sentence to set back to 3:00 this morning.

- Now hightail it out of here. - Thank you, Judge.

What's next?

Dan Thomas...

and Tod Ramsey.

You boys get up there.

You're charged with trespassing on private property...

of farmer O. V. Martin.

And of stealing a hog, which was recovered at the point of a musket.

Don't you Johnny Rebs know it's against the law to go stealing of?

It wasn't against the law for Sherman down in Georgia.

- What he means-- - I know what he means.

- How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty? - Not guilty.

- What's that? - Not guilty.

Why, Constable, you said the farmer caught them red-handed.

He sure did, Your Honour.

We took the pig, Judge...

but we're not thieves. We were hungry.

We hadn't eaten for several days...

and we got kind of tired of people closing doors on our faces...

just because we have the wrong kind of uniform on.

Have you got anything to say before sentence is pronounced?

We only came up to work on the railroad, and we found that finished.

We're on our way to Texas.

Texas? It's a mighty good place for the likes of you two.

You, Lee, and Beauregard, and the rest of that rebel riffraff...

can get together down there...

and maybe you can start another secession movement.

You dirty Yankee!

Danny, wait a minute.

You can't do that in this court. What's the matter with you?

Order.

Order in the court.

You young whippersnappers.

I find you both guilty. I'm gonna fine you $50 apiece.

And as for you, I'm gonna make an example out of you.

I'm gonna hold you for contempt of court...

and fine you another $50.

We haven't got $50, let alone him having $100.

Take them away. Next case.

Bats Delaney.

Take your hands off them.

Here's the fine for both of them.

That's a little bit irregular, Mr. Miller.

Everything's irregular in this two-by-four court.

Including your remark about Lee and Beauregard.

There's $20 for the fine of Bats Delaney. Come on, Bats.

- He ain't entered his plea. - He pleads guilty.

That's $20, and the fine's only $10.

Take the change and get some of the stink out of this place.

Come on.

Court's dismissed.

Come on.

- Mr. Miller? - What do you want?

- We'd just like to thank you. - Yeah, thanks a lot.

Don't give it a thought.

What outfit you boys with in the war?

Jeb Stuart's cavalry, army of Northern Virginia.

I might've known it.

Nobody but a Virginian or a Texican would jump a judge in his own court.

We'd like to work that money off, if you'd let us.

Ain't often a stranger will do you a favour like that.

I ain't no stranger where a Johnny Reb is concerned.

I'm a Texican myself.

You boys still hungry?

I got the same appetite I brought to town with me three days ago.

Bats, take them down to Camp 18 and feed them.

And keep your nose out of that jug.

You boys look me up at the fight tonight.

Come on, I gotta get rid of them high-collar dudes from Chicago.

Who is that one-man cyclone?

You mean you ain't never heard of Windy Miller?

No, we never did. But from now on, we're for him.

Where's that food he was talking about?

Come on.

Oh, don't you remember sweet Betsy from Pike

Oh, don't you remember sweet Betsy from Pike

Who crossed o'er the mountain with her lover Ike

With two yoke of oxen, a big yeller dog

A tall Shanghai rooster, and one spotted hog

Oh, sing, goodbye Pike County Farewell for a while

We'll come back again when we've panned out our pile

They soon reached the desert, where Betsy give out

While down in the sand she lay rolling about

Come on, let's have the fighters in here!

Quiet!

Ladies and gentlemen...

we beg your indulgence for a few more minutes.

We can't start this fight till Windy Miller gets here.

He's being detained at the hotel on business.

What business?

The railroad's finished, ain't it? Start that fight.

Get Windy here in a hurry.

- Get your fighters in the ring. - All right.

Quiet, now.

The fighters will be right in the ring.

Get them out of here.

This is all right. I think I'm gonna like this town.

Yeah. Plenty going on here, huh?

Introducing the pride of Camp 19.

The best track layer west of the Mississippi:

Dutch Henry!

Hurray!

Boo!

Quiet.

Introducing the pride of Camp 18:

Matt Sawyer!

Boo!

- What's the matter with you? - My leg, it's busted.

Somebody get a doctor.

Get a doctor, somebody.

A fine time you picked to be a high-jumper.

Get him out of here.

We got to have a fight.

There's Windy now. Come on.

Don't you worry, folks, don't you worry for a minute.

We'll have a fight if I have to take him on myself.

- Come here. - Hey, big fella. I'll take you on.

- Excuse me. May I get through, please? - Go on back and sit down.

- I'd like to get through to the ring. - Go on back and sit down.

- Wait a minute. - Just a minute.

You want to make something of it?

Hey, you Jeb Stuart boy!

Come over here.

How would you like to pick up $200 in a hurry?

I'd even spend some time to pick up that much money.

Start getting out of your clothes, you're gonna fight Dutch Henry.

No. Wait a minute. I'm no fighter.

Win or lose, $200 in cash.

I'll do it for $50.

What?

We owe you the rest.

You've got a good memory.

- I'll bet it on you. - Thanks.

- What's your name? - Dan Thomas.

We'll tell them Texas Thomas. Get ready.

All right, get him ready.

You're crazy to do this.

Henry's a professional fighter. He'll beat your ears down.

- We got $50 to take us to Texas, haven't we? - Yeah.

- Hold on to it. - All right.

I told you folks we were gonna have a fight.

Introducing the champion of the Lone Star State:

Texas Thomas.

Do you think that this is another one of Windy's tricks?

Work him around to this corner. We'll take care of him.

This is going to be a decision fight, gents...

according to the London Prize Fight rules.

There'll be no biting in the clinches.

When a man goes down...

that ends the round.

If he can't come to the centre of the ring and toe the mark inside of 30 seconds...

he loses.

- Are you ready, Texas? - Yeah.

- Are you ready, Henry? - Yep.

Let her rip.

Let me at him. Leave me at him.

What's going on here?

He grabbed Dan's foot.

You do that again and I'll take you apart myself.

Get back there and let's get this fight going.

I'll bet you all thought it was real, didn't you, folks?

Just a little entertainment I put on between the rounds.

What did you let him see you for?

Round two coming up. Time.

Where's Tex? Where did he go? Anybody see him?

Windy, here he is.

Come on, get up here and fight.

I'm all right, Tod. Don't worry.

Good boy, Tex. Go get him.

Wait a minute, Danny.

Wait a minute, Danny. Come on.

Time!

More water. Some more water.

Round four. Time!

How long is he gonna keep getting up?

Round 10. Time!

Time!

- What round is it? - Thirty-five.

Round 35. Time!

- I'm getting mighty tired of this. - I don't blame you.

Are you all right, champ?

- Why don't they start the fight? - Time!

Danny, are you all right?