Critters 3 - You Are What They Eat (Critters 3)

What?

- All the cops have wooden legs! - They sure do!

- -

- All right, hold on! - What is it?!

Flat tire! Hold on!

Oh, man.

All right, I'm gonna find a place to pull over.

Oh, man.

Excuse me.

Hey, I like this place.

Maybe we could build some houses,

just like Gilligan's Island.

Gilligan's Island?

After all that's happened, Annie,

what's wrong with going home?

Dad...

- vacation was fine. - Yeah, fine.

Let's face it, Annie,

it's just not the way that it was.

Dad, Mom's been dead for two years.

It's the way it is.

We have lift-off.

Honey, look, why don't you just hit the cooler,

get yourself some pop?

But stay close, okay, 'cause I want to fix this tire

and get on home.

Hey, don't go down there, kid.

There's all kinds of wild animals and shit.

- Who do you belong to? - Who do you belong to?

Hey! Hey, you! Hands off!

Are you some kind of a pervert or something?

Johnny, you know better than that.

You don't even know this guy.

Hey, hey, wait a minute. I don't know you either, okay?

He almost went over the edge.

There could be badgers or something down there.

Throw it.

Come on, throw it.

Well, throw it.

Go back, come on.

Wow, bald and flat.

I feel for you, man.

Sometimes life really sucks, doesn't it?

Looks like you just bought me a tournament Frisbee, dude.

I can get it back. No sweat.

Come on. What, are you guys standing guard? Let's go.

Come on, guys, let's go the other way, okay?

Johnny, come on.

Ah, ha!

I told you.

Was I right, or was I right?

- -

No playing here!

You kids oughta know better than...

wait.

You hear it?

It could be anywhere around here.

Above us, behind us,

or in the ground.

Do you think this is some kind of joke?

You think this is some kind of game?!

They're hungry. All they do is eat.

You got to keep a weathered eye out all the time!

If you don't watch every minute... then wham!

Then it's too late.

Who are you?

Any of you ever hear of a place called Grover's Bend?

It's a real town with real people.

Now, in 1984...

I was riding my bicycle

and I looked up.

I saw this thing in the sky.

Call the Army. They're here!

- Who? - Who?!

Them!

- -

On Earth

I was just a big nobody.

Up in space I am somebody.

- -

Charlle bounty hunter.

Yeah, "Charlie bounty hunter."

- -

Dad's all torn up and Mom's got like

a harpoon thing in her neck, and they're getting bigger.

- -

You're not from around here, are you?

- -

I got to go where the cosmic winds blow me.

I got to...

go where no man has gone before.

I'm a bounty hunter!

Come on, you can't expect us

to believe this horseshit.

You can believe what you want, son.

All I know is you got to get away from here

while you still can.

Well, there's something I can agree with.

So walk away.

There you go.

Probably could've used that lug wrench a little while longer.

Got it.

You should have had your spare tire down here.

Could've saved you some traveling.

Never know when you're gonna have a flat tire

on an antique like this.

Are you supposed to be scary?

Me?

No.

It ain't me, it's them.

I've seen them.

I've been seeing them for...

Look, you believe in monsters?

- Yeah. - Good. Good.

That's what I'm telling you about.

Now, some friends of mine from...

a long way off,

they gave me a whole bunch of these.

I only got a couple left,

but I want you to have one.

Now, if this ever starts to glow bright green,

that's the time to watch out for yourself.

And your family.

- Green. - That's right, green.

Annie! Johnny!

All aboard!

We really have to go now.

- Yeah, give my regards to Mars. - Don't be so quick.

You're not as smart as you think you are.

You can have the rest of my root beer.

Thank you, partner. It's my favorite.

Johnny, come on now.

Look what I found.

Whoa, what is it?

I don't know. It looks like a big electric bullet.

Homemade. He dropped it.

Joshua! Front and center, now.

- Joshua? - Josh, please.

- Is that your father? - Stepfather.

Never, never will we trust you out of our sight again.

When I say five minutes,

I don't mean seven, I don't mean three.

Discipline from now on, young man. Hmm?

I will not and your mother will not...

spare anymore rods.

Is he going to get spanked?

I don't think his mom is going to let that happen.

Well, Big John, I guess we had some adventure, huh?!

Dad!

Dad, you should have seen it!

There was this guy, this really strange guy--

I really don't care, Annie.

I told you two to stay close, now, didn't I?

Look at the two of you... you're filthy.

- Johnny, get in the truck. - I know, Dad,

but he came out of the ground and scared the crap out of us.

He scared the crap out of us.

Miss Sawyer...

can we please watch our language around Johnny?