First and Last

On my last day, I'm thinking about starting a new life.

Walking out them front doors. It's an amazing feeling.

- The best feeling in the world. - You're just ready to touch the outside.

The day I get out, I am probably going to eat everything in sight.

You walk out that front door and you put it behind you.

Ah... yes, man. I'm back on the street. I can't believe this is really happening.

Sun on my skin, let my hair out. I gotta go.

Walk out of those doors, it's gonna be the best feeling in the world.

- Best feeling in the world. - Freedom.

I'm ready to go.

I'm ready to hit this motherfuckin' door.

- I'mma hit that bitch running. - Sure you ready?

- Do you leave at, like, 11 or 12? - Are you really ready?

- I'm really ready, okay? - I'm talking about up here.

Oh, I'm ready.

My name's Toyea Whittard, I'm 23 years old.

I'm here on VOP for reckless conduct, disorderly, and trespassing.

I've been here for 45 days.

I caught all these charges 'cause I fucked a bitch up 'cause of my kids.

My aunt's friend came over with her children.

The little boy picked my daughter up, and her head hit the bricks under the house.

I was at work.

I got a phone call 'cause my daughter had a concussion.

Went home, and my aunt's friend has this real loud ghetto mouth.

And so when I said something to her...

she just really started, you know firing...

and I blacked out and...

ran up... and hit her in her face.

Whoa!

So, you know... I did that,

the police came, I was still in the house, 'cause I knew I was going to jail.

So I got anger problems, I had anger problems since I was little.

My mom said, from kindergarten, I was pretty... rough.

At school, I didn't want to listen to authority.

I wanted to do what I wanted to do... raised all type of hell in school.

Growing up, I was always in so much trouble.

I really don't know why I was so angry.

And I still am angry.

Nigga was posing and shit. My mom was like, "This nigga..."

When I'm angry... to that extent,

nothing matters.

And nothing can stop me from...

doing what I wanna do. It's an adrenaline rush.

I don't know how to control my emotions.

- It be hard... - I just be seeing red, fuck that.

- That's just what I'm saying. - Yeah, red.

I definitely can't do that no more.

I don't like that my kids gotta be with my mama or my boyfriend.

I wanna be there with my kids myself.

It don't take control just on us... It's on the kids too.

- And you say you got how many? - Four.

Four kids, married... separated, all type of shit.

- Okay? - A long story, long life for a young...

For a young lady, you know, I've been through it.

What's your last name?

- Rice. - Who's got Rice's things?

- You been here before? - Once.

One time?

Here. Put it on.

I can put it on?

Once you put it on, look into camera box number one for me.

- Number one? - Yes.

You're good. Is today your birthday?

Yeah, today my birthday...

I made 21, finally, dog.

You all, please don't have me like this on my birthday, for real.

For real.

Walk through the metal detector.

I crashed my girl's car, man.

Bullshit.

On my fucking birthday.

- Get inside right here? - Yep, in there. Yellow footprints.

I been to work, fucking from 8:00 to 1:30.

Come out, went home,

drink a little bit, went by my dad's house,

drink a little bit, went by Walmart, come back, hit the pole.

Mm-hm.

That's what happen when you try to get lit on your birthday.

Yeah.

Shit got crazy.

One minute you're having fun, next minute...

sitting in a cell.

Dang.

I told myself I ain't never coming back to jail.

Look what the fuck I did.

I hit the goddamn pole, man.

They is not going to let me out, bro.

I'm finna sit in here and gonna rot.

They might not let me out...

because I already on house arrest.

The last time I been here...

they were trying to blame me for a series of armed robberies and stuff,

but... it wasn't me.

I wonder if they gonna take this shit off before I go upstairs.

Everybody make sure to tell you when you leave,

they tell you, "Hey, don't come back."

You gonna always find your way back.

There ain't no place like home.

Jail is home for a black man, man.

Really.

All right. Line up!

Ham sandwich?

I don't know what that is.

Not happening.

Shit has no juice.

They treat us like shit in here, man. Well, look at my juice.

I'm just trying to get out of here.

We all are. We all have children. We all have families. We all have jobs.

We all got grass to cut, you know? None of us want to be in here for this.

I got here Friday at around six o'clock. But it feels like forever.

For a silly reason, you know, a silly mistake.

I've been on probation for possession of marijuana.

I completed it, paid my fines.

But, probation, that's something you have to... stay on check.

What you get arrested for?

- Right now? - Yeah.

- Shoplifting. - What?

- Shoplifting. - Oh, okay, okay, I got you.

I was with some friends. We went to Walmart.

My friends, they were grabbing stuff.

They got caught, but I was with them.

When the police came, the officer told me to turn around.

And I'm just like, "What? What's going on?"

And he just said, "Yeah, you have a warrant for your arrest."

He said, "Violation of probation."

I had a bond for the shoplifting charges, but they told me I couldn't bond out.

I just don't know what's going to happen with me.

If I'mma stay locked up or get out of here.

It sucks.

- I miss my girl, man. I miss my old lady. - Me too, man.

I'm telling you, I was supposed to get married tomorrow, man.

God damn!

- Come on, dude. - It's bullshit.

I already had it all planned out. I already have the rings waiting at home.

My fiancée, she's had her dress all ready.

I'm just really hoping I get outta here... Hmm...

Hello?

Hey, baby.

Hey, babe.

What's up?

I'm stressed out.

Hopefully I'll be able to get outta here.

That's what I want.

Just, I really need to get that warrant cleared.

I just wanna know what's gonna happen.

Remember, no matter what happens, just know I'm always gonna be here.

Today's my birthday.

Mm-hm.

I make veintiuno. Me, I make veintiuno today.

Yeah, man.

I've been waiting for this day for a minute, bro.

But I'm still kind of drunk right now, too.

Rice?

Bring my stuff?

Yep, grab your paperwork.

I'm vexed, dog. Upset, dog.

Stand right here in this yellow square for me. Hands down by your side.

The only times I got locked up been up here in Atlanta.

I never been arrested at home.

Where were you born?

Atlanta, Georgia.

I was born up here, but I was raised down in the Virgin Islands.

Came up here when I was 19, ain't had no record.

No, nothing. Came up here.

Your height and weight?

I probably like 5' 11".

My weight is like...

you know, skinny.

Okay, I don't have skinny. How about 140, is that roughly right?

- Yeah. - How many tattoos?

I look skinny, right? I only got two tattoos.

All right, sir. You have three citations.

Unsafe lane change, no driver's license and driving too fast for conditions.

$953 is your total bond.

In order to post bond, you can pay cash. That would be the entire amount.

So I can go, for real?

Are you listening to me?

Yeah, I listening. That's all I hear, I could get out.

You can get out.

If you can't bond out, you'll go to court Monday morning at eight.

Today is Saturday, oh God!

I just wanna go to sleep.

Hopefully I get out in a few hours, you know?

I wait for this day so long, you know?

I'm blessed to see 21.

Set your paperwork right here.

My brother got killed when he was 19 years old, my older brother.

I was 15. My brother was 19.

That's why I got the tattoo.

You know what I'm saying.

It's my brother that got killed, that's why I have the RIP over this one.

So even if I'm in prison, in jail...

I'm still blessed, I don't even care right now.

Hey!

All wake up, brother.

Wake up!

Y'all stink.

Home, sweet home.

Home, sweet home, shit! I don't live with no niggas, dog.

Man, I can't even get a little seat here. It's fucking crowded, dog.